Benefit was never enough to keep you satisfied
by nair4ever
Summary: 'Blair raised her eyebrow, maybe she underestimated prince Charming. Too bad she was the evil queen.'
1. Frustration indeed

Hello my loyal Nair fans. As promised I am here with a brand new story. I got a lot of reviews and requests in my latest stories that you wanted something lemony and M rated so there. I am sorry for not updating as fast as usual, you're just going to have to bear with me 'cause I try my best, school is starting so I don't really have a lot of time on my hands, but I promise, there will be at least one chapter per week, that's absolutely sure. How fast will it come though, depends on you guys and your reviews. Now let's move on to the story.

**Just not to get confused read this before the story:** for story purposes Nate, Blair, Serena and Chuck never went to the same high school ergo they don't know each other. This is happening after their college years. Also, Nate is kind of a bad boy here. I think the rest should be clear.

I do not own any characters or songs used, just the ideas.

Rating: M

First chapter is pretty short, but the others won't be, this is just a warm up.

* * *

_'He told me no one would get hurt, no one would catch feelings, which only proves my point...I was no one to him.'_

_It all comes down to this point. The never ending circle of feud/friendship/banging/awkwardness/ lies/ break ups… then all over._

_But she knew better. She was Blair Waldorf, if someone could stop the unstoppable it would be her. And she is putting an end to it now. If it only were that easy._

_What the hell, it's just words, right?_

''_I don't care how cliché it sounds. We need to talk''_

* * *

''Stop dramatizing so much. You sound like someone from _the Real housewives'' _

Blair checked out her blonde friend and gave her one of those _I'm gonna burn you with a straightening iron_ Waldorf trademark looks.

''I'm just saying. It's just five minutes. I'm sure Ep-something won't even notice you're late''

''Serena this is the grownup's world, everyone notices when you're late-'' she waved her hand like crazy trying to hail a cab, for God's sake half of the city population is taxi drivers, and not one of them is available? New York was a bitch today. ''-and it's Epperly ''

The blonde rolled her eyes and leaned in to give her friend a quick cheek peck before storming of towards Barney's.

''Well enjoy grownup's world, I'll just chill here…in the promised land'' she pointed to the store and flew away

''Yeah-'' finally a frickin' cab ''-enjoy''

She just about opened the door when someone very ''politely'' nudged her away

''Oh thanks, I needed it'' a male voice behind her said. She didn't even get a chance to turn around and bash at him for nudging her in the first place, he was entering her cab. HER CAB.

''Wai- what the hell-'' she shouted as he closed the door to the car. Her eyes went wide, yeah she was definitely ready to kill someone right now. Someone like that jerk face ( well not literally, blue eyes, perfect hair, perfect face, almost like a living ken doll. The guy actually looked like some kind of a model, studying his features for a moment he probably was. A snotty rude asshole of a model who, despite his hotness, she wanted to throw of a bridge)

''-that's my cab, I'm already late'' she yelled trough the window shield

''And that's why we all appreciate you doing this for me'' he added and threw in an arrogant smirk of his

''Ugh'' frustration took over her as she watched HER cab driving away with that pretentious Barbie boy

* * *

''Blair-'' of course

''-Epperly I'm so sorry I-'' she tried to catch her breath and explain herself at the same time

''-Hush hush, doesn't matter. Besides the other intern came not so long ago, we didn't have to wait for so long, not to mention….he's not hard to look at-'' she continued and winked at the end, leaving Blair with a grimace on her face…wait…wait

''The other intern?'' she basically shouted. What the absolute hell? No one ever mentioned the other intern. She needed this position. Calm down Blair. Everything'll be just fine. You've got this. The other bitch doesn't stand a-

''Blair meet-'' she started as she opened her office door ''-Nathanial Archibald''

The swivel chair turned around, and picture the surprise on her face when she saw sitting there, in all his arrogant glory-

''You-'' she spat and frowned in disbelief

''Well well, here we met again'' the guy-Nathanial said with a husky voice only a porn star…or a really really hot guy could pull off. As much as she knew he was neither.

And then that one million dollar smile came… well maybe he was kind of hot. Okay maybe a lot- but most importantly…. he was an arch enemy.

''Oh crap-'' Epperly said pulling out her beeping phone ''-I have to go take care of something. You talk, get to know with what you do or whatever'' she said and stormed out, leaving Blair and that Barbie boy alone in the office

''Yeah sure. Because I'm sure there's so much you do between stealing other people's cabs and internships'' Blair said sarcastically adding a fake smile on top

''The same thing you do between shopping and solving daddy issues with your best-I suppose- blonde friend'' he returned the favor, no sarcasm was lost

Blair raised her eyebrow, maybe she underestimated prince Charming. Too bad she was the evil queen.

''See that's where you're wrong, 'cause after this, unlike you, I'll be doing my internship at W-''

He shook his head lightly and looked her up and down…was he checking her out? Whatever he was doing, it was suddenly making her feel…well…hot

''You wanna play with me Archibald? I'm warning you, you'll lose, you're already getting frustrated'' she said sweetly. She had to do something to break his gaze, it felt wrong. He grinned and looked up at her

''Funny you should say that, the only frustration I'm picking up in here radiated from you.'' he just stepped closer.

''Whatever do you mean'' she said rolling her eyes

''I mean-''

Epperly emerged in the office which was so filled with electricity and fire, she felt like she was going to burn.

''Well let's sit and get this interview done'' Epperly said and headed towards the desk, stepping in front of them. Blair was about to follow when she felt his hand on her hip. Her breath hitched

''-sexual frustration'' he whispered in her ear making her shiver and quickly retrieved like nothing happened. He took a seat in front of Epperly, both of them waiting for Blair.

She seated herself down and turned her head in his direction. It was like he felt her eyes on him. He quickly fixed his gaze with hers, mouthing out _'Game on'_

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Would you like to read more of this story? Let me know in the review section below, more reviews = faster update ;) xo L


	2. Don't forget to lower the blinds

So since there is interest for this new story, it continues as planned. Thank you for the reviews and keep them coming. Also you can follow and favorite this story so you will get an immediate update on when it's up. The rules are pretty much the same, the more reviews I get, the faster I update this :D

And yes, as some of you noticed Nate is not his usual adorable cute self in this fic, I decided to make him a bit of a bad boy, to shake things up

I do not own any characters or songs used, just the ideas

Song: Forbidden fruit

* * *

''This is serious you two, we have never gotten to this situation before but both of you are at the top of your game, so we had to take you both. Unfortunately only one of you can stay'' Epperly spoke, most of the time looking at Nate. If Blair got a dollar for every eye roll she would do that hour she wouldn't need this internship anymore.

''Of course, you're very considerate'' that asshole said and flashed that blinding smile in Epperly's direction. Her cheeks blushed and Blair felt an urge to throw up. She could not believe Epperly let herself down so easily with that womanizer.

''Oh stop it-'' Epperly made a remark and threw her hair back in a ''seducing'' manner, damn it

''-according to this résumé you are-'' her eyes left Nate's for a second and finally made contact with Blair. 'She knows I exist'- Blair thought to herself, great just great. ''-both of you are amazing'' she added, not to leave anyone out…and that anyone was getting very very fed up with the pretty boy up here

''How do you both feel about working on weekends?''

''Of course'' Blair said directly

''That would be a problem-'' Nate said at the same time. Both Blair and Epperly looked surprised at him. But Blair was smarter than that, she knew he wouldn't just give in so easily, saying this is like giving up on the job right away, he had something coming

''Excuse me?'' Epperly asked

''Well-'' he said and leaned closer over the table, to get closer to Epperly. 'Here it goes'-Blair thought

''-I volunteer at an animal shelter'' Epperly gave him a big aaaawww immediately while Blair muttered to herself

''You have got to be kidding me''

''You can't imagine the joy on a little kid who just adopted a puppy-'' he said and made E melt ''-it's such a fulfilling job to do, if you need someone available 24/7 I'm sorry, you should give the internship to miss Waldorf, there's a lot of tiny poor animals to save-'' he said and took a hold of Epperly's hand ''-and a lot of smiles to give out''

What. The. Fuck.

''No!No! You don't have to work on weekends, you're such a sweetheart, what you're doing is so noble''

Oh really? Blair doesn't remember bimbos being noble but all right.

Just about then E's mobile buzzed again, she finally decided to answer it.

''So sorry-'' of course it was directed to Nate, since Blair was there just for decoration ''-I really need to take this''

''So tell me, besides this, do you volunteer at any other shelters-'' Blair said sarcastically and stood up to stand in front of him ''- like Victor,Victrola or I don't know… Lusty nasty where you ''help young women gather money for college'' she air quoted

''Why? Are you performing, cause I'd sure love to see that'' he made a snarky remark which made Blair want to throw her Marc Jacobs studded clutch at him…or stab him with her stiletto, whichever comes first

''Some of us take this seriously _Romeo, _cut the crap. Unlike you I need this''

''Need what?'' he said with a smirk, raising his eyebrow and looking up and down her body

''Ugh-'' she muttered angrily and sat back down

''Would you fucking relax? Stop being so uptight all the time'' he said finally dropping the smirk ''Maybe if you didn't just sit here rolling your eyes and imitating a plant you would be getting this job, not me''

Blair frowned, just about to explode when Epperly returned

''So Blair I heard you used to attend Constance, you were at the top of your class''

''Yes-'' it was Nate's turn to roll eyes now ''-and I take this very seriously-'' she said and glared at Nate, who just sat there with that smirk on his godlike face ''-I'm willing to work 24/7 if that's what you need''

''Well the decision is already done. I just came off the phone with my boss, Arthur Wrath. And I managed to convince him to-'' she looked in between them ''-hire both of you''

Now that's what you call a mix of emotions. First being excited as never to get a chance to work at one of New York's most amazing firms ever. Then the kick comes in

''So from now on, you guys are coworkers. Better get used to each other, you'll be doing it for the rest of the year and who knows'' Epperly said anf left

Blair stood up, heading out too, she would just pretend she didn't hear the last bit of this conversation

''You got the internship…you got the internship, no one else is going to ruin this for you, no one-''

''-I guess I see you on Monday, partner-'' he came behind her, his hand (which she slapped right away) on her lower back ''-unless of course I'll be seeing you at Lusty nasty this weekend'' he yelled after her a moment after, in a hall full of her future coworkers

She turned around to see him grinning on the other end of the hall. A group of guys passed her, of course she wasn't spared the embarrassment

''Whooa…I had no idea the new intern was a stripper-'' one of them teased

''I'm not-'' she yelled with a terrified look on her face ''-just….ugh'' she angrily left the building

This oughta be good.

* * *

''Serena I am going to lose my mind over this'' she said, her friend's laugh over the line wasn't helping

''Well he was right, you have to relax a bit. Anyhow this Nate sounds like quite a hottie to me''

''Of course…I've found the right person to talk to'' she replied sarcastically ''-It doesn't matter if he's hot or not-''

''-so he is hot-''

''-no-''

''-but you said he was…come on I know he is, tell me''

''Fine-'' she hissed ''-he may be sort of hot'' there was a brief silence on the other end of the line

''You sound in to him. What's his name?''

''Nathanial Archibald. AND I'M NOT INTO HIM-'' Serena went quiet again ''-what are you doing?'' Blair asked again

''OH MY GOSH''

''What? Serena!''

''That you call sort of hot? He's like a sex god'' her friend screeched

''What are you even…gosh Serena, tell me you didn't google the guy''

''Fine I didn't google the guy-'' she laughed ''-I yahoo searched him'' Blair rolled her eyes once more

''Well this conversation is over''

''Wait, you better call me soon with all the details from your first day-'' Serena said quickly ''-and remember, don't forget to lower the blinds when he bangs you against the office desk-''

Blair cut her off right away ''-Bye Serena''

* * *

''Nathanial'' Chuck repeated once more, what was up with Nate tonight anyways? He shook his head quickly, woken up from his musings

''oh-I mean yes? What?'' he said like a confused puppy and Chuck had to laugh. It was so very unlike his friend to act like this

''Who is she?'' he asked taking a gulp of his scotch

''Who is who?'' Nate said, acting clueless, it was only a matter of time for C to notice the jig was up

''Whoever put you in this comatose state. Seriously Nate, last night, on a Friday you stayed at home watching Die hard, you sent that blondie with daddy issues home to go and tonight when you finally dragged yourself here in New York's centre of burlesque and women taking their clothes off for you, you've just been sitting here, pretending to stare at the stage and musing. So tell me, who is she, and she oughta be damn good to keep you celibate for-'' he pretended to check his watch ''-two whole days''

Nate just chuckled and finished his drink. To be honest he wasn't even sure himself what was happening. And yes it was kind of weird that he didn't have the tiniest urge to bang someone since he first met... fuck. Blair. Well damn everything if she wasn't capturing. He felt so weak next to her the other day. The thing that got him the most was the bare fact that unlike any other breathing girl he ever met, she didn't even flinch next to him. She was completely cold. Call it reverse psychology but it made him want to earn her attention even more.

See Nate was like a little kid who wanted the candy he couldn't have the most. And fuck it, she was one hell of a candy.

_There's a game you wanna play  
There's a risk you would like to take  
But words can't change what you feel inside  
__There'll be no going back from here  
I'm scared it'll lead to tears  
Patience, boy, and I will decide  
__If you taste this fruit, forbidden to eat  
__You can drink this wine from love so deep_

''There's no one Chuck. I'm just tired from flying in to New York... and then that interview with W''

''Speaking of, you know who rides the plane? Stewardess, which only makes it more suspicious for you since I didn't hear anything about banging one''

Nate laughed at his friend, shaking his head

'' I told you it's nothing. Listen I'm going'' he said and stood up

''I'm still waiting for you to finish the sentence with –to find someone to keep me company tonight''

''Actually I'm going home'-'' he said and put his empty glass on the table ''-alone''

''Well damn she must be hella good then'' Chuck muttered to himself as he watched his friend go

* * *

You know how this goes, you give me reviews I give you updates ;)) till next chapter xo L


	3. What are you doing to me?

Here we go, sorry it took a while, but there wasn't really a lot of motivation for me, luckily I found it and managed to write this chapter. So for future updates, they get up faster when there are more reviews. I appreciate your feedback, keep it coming :)

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''Please,just a second-''

''-WHAT DO YOU MEAN JUST A-''

''-Sir listen to me'' she tried to calm the damn investor down

''No no you listen to me-''

''-I told you already, Epperly isn't here'' she yelled.

And where the fuck was he?

The door opened all of a sudden and that smirk came in to Blair's frame. She glared at him and shoved one of the sidekicks in his hand. He raised an eyebrow in response

''TELL HER TO GET HER PATTERNS STRAIGHT'' the guy yelled once more, even Nate could hear him, the whole company probably could. She took a deep breath and tried to get around Nate to answer the phone on the other side of the room, since Barbie boy looked as ready not to do it as ever.

''Move it'' she hissed quietly when he blocked her way. He crossed his arms across his chest and just smirked

''Oh go to hell'' she said, louder this time as she nudged him in the chest with her free arm, he sure was chiseled, he didn't even flinch

''Excuse me?'' the guy on the phone said angrily

''Oh no, I wasn't saying it to you-'' she tried to explain while Nate started to laugh

''Hello? Hello?'' she furiously hung up and put the phone away ''Where the hell were you? You should've been here two hours ago. I had to do my and your job at the same time'' she hissed angry at him. He finally moved the spot and sat on her swivel chair

''Yeah, I don't really do this whole waking up at 7 am thing'' he said and started swiveling around like a five year old. It took every fiber of Blair's being not to throw her iphone at him right then. She took a deep breath and composed herself.

'_You can do this Blair, just sit down and do your work, eventually he'll do the same'_

She put her hands on the chair to stop his stupid swirling and somehow ended up in his lap.

''Oh now you're talking'' he said in a husky voice which made her shiver, she would convince herself it was out of pure annoyance although her body told her differently.

Nate's hands roamed over her back as he inhaled her sweet scent of vanilla and lavender in. Her skin felt so soft, so good on him. He didn't feel so comfortable with a girl for a long time. Unfortunately that feeling was quickly replaced with the one of pain.

''You moron'' she yelled as she punched his chest making him growl

''It's not my fault you're uncoordinated'' he said, trying to stifle his laugh

''Just answer the goddamn phone'' she said annoyingly and shoved it in his hand

She exited the office with an excuse of shredding some paperwork. Truth to be told, it got to hot in there for her to handle, and not in a temperature kind of way.

She let the cold water run and placed her wet arms on the back side of her neck, trying to cool off. Her hand still hurt a bit from his abs.

What the hell even was that? Did she..did she…no, no way. Was that an attraction?

How could she even let this happen? She barely spent two hours in total with the guy. And not just any guy, he was the total opposite of the guys she likes. He's cocky, arrogant, pretentious, a total womanizer, but she be damned if he can't pull it off. Maybe she spent too much time in the ' good guys' department, no wonder her life's gotten so boring. This was the most rush she had in months.

''What are you doing to me Archibald?'' she mumbled to herself before exiting

''Shredded everything you needed?'' he asked with a sultry tone when she came back.

''What?'' she said confused, then she remembered ''Oh yeah'' she sat down and started typing furiously on her Mac; she figured focusing on her job would do the trick of distraction. Obviously it didn't work, all she could think about were those piercing eyes, sitting right across her.

* * *

''I can't believe you're going out with a biker'' Serena said

''Well, to be honest neither can I'' Blair responded trying to balance a dozen of clothes hangers and a phone all at once

''Why the sudden change, I mean you're always so pure and well…conservative''

''I am not conservative-'' Blair said, frowning, well Serena wasn't completely wrong ''-I just decided not to show my 'wild' side as much as you do''

''What's that supposed to mean?''

''Nothing, I just…I'm bored of being…well ….boring'' well she did just fine being boring until the devil itself came…in form of a blue eyed man whore (probably)

''Okay, so no trying out the temperature before swimming? You go straight cannonball? I mean a biker, who knows where he'll take you'' Serena said, being her usual over -thinking self

''It sounds like you're more nervous about that date than I am. Besides, I know Michael, it's not like I'm going on a blind date, we've known each other since high school. I have to go now, I've gotta change''

'' But you two never hung out, you don't even know where you're going. What are you even going to wear, a leather mini skirt?'' Serena teased

Blair laughed and opened her walk in closet ''Sure'' she said sarcastically

''Well in case he caves you into some kind of an alley tonight and stabs you, can I get Teddy?''

''Serena-'' Blair said, half laughing, half terrified ''- I'm gonna hang up now, before you freak me out even more''

She could hear Serena laughing at the other end ''I warned you''

''It's been noted, bye''

''Bye bye''

''Teddy I won't get stabbed tonight, right?'' she asked her little yorkie who just continued with massacring whatever was left from his chewing toy

* * *

''Just a minute'' she said and checked herself once more in the mirror before opening the door. When she decided her white Chanel looked just perfect on her she opened up.

''Wow-'' he said upon seeing her ''-you look amazing''

''Thanks-'' she smiled ''-ready to go?''

The rest of the night went fine. Ugh who was she even kidding? It was awful. They had no common interests at all, the half of the conversation was him talking about his precious motorbike and the other half was awkward small talk.

''Hey, it's getting late, I should head home'' she said as they exited the restaurant a few blocks away from her building

''Late? It's midnight, I was hoping to introduce you to some of my friends'' he said and took her arm, she didn't feel the tingling sensation she felt with Nate touching her arm. And there she goes, thinking about Nate again.

''I don't know'' she said a bit unease, she could picture how much more ''interesting'' his friends were from him

''Well, I guess you're right, you were never an action kind of type anyways''

Well if that didn't piss her off, God knows what did.

''Fine, let's go meet your friends'' she said and faked a smile. She wanted to be courageous and sharp, here it goes.

''Our ride is right here'' he said and pointed to a motorcycle nearby. She frowned a bit and flinched her nose, well what else she could have expected. Oh God, her dress was so not made for this kind of stuff.

''Hold on tight''

* * *

What did she ever do to take this punishment from God. Mike's friends sure were endearing. Endearing her ass. What kind of place was she even at? It all reeked of alcohol, smoke and gas. Guys were either punching each other or making that annoying sound with their stupid bikes and the girls, who obviously never heard of knee length and cotton were as stoned as their '_dates'_

''Mike I want to go home'' she said. He turned around to face her, he was as drunk as the other guys around them. Serena was right, this was a huge disaster.

Suddenly she felt his hand stroking along her tight

''Why the rush, we're just getting started'' he said with a smirk that made her sick, she pushed his hand violently away but he returned back

''Stop it, I said I want to go out of here'' she said louder and tried to push him off herself, he wouldn't bulge.

It seemed like there was no way out of there now, she was God knows where. Damn it Blair, why couldn't you just go home

''Mike stop it'' she screeched as he tried to kiss her, his hands were all over her, neither of his 'buddies' didn't seem to notice anything.

Why couldn't she just stay boring….or come to peace with the fact that Nate is more interesting than her, get over it? Now she was stuck here, being groped against her will, with no one to get her out of this.

Speak of the devil too soon. Or was it?

It was like some kind of messiah enrolled in the place on his Harley Davidson.

''Fuck'' one of the guys near them said. What's that supposed to mean

A bunch of the other guys were over there in an instant, high fiving Nate in all his glory and all that crap. Mike finally moved away from Blair and just stood there with an angry expression on his face

''Blair'' Nate asked and walked closer. Her cheeks were still wet from her tears and her hair was slightly matted, he barely recognized her in the dark

''She's with me'' Mike said and stepped in front of Nate, pushing him back slightly. No one dared to move around them. There were two gangs formed, one seemed to form around Nate and one around Mike. Nate didn't care the slightest; Blair was practically begging him with her eyes to get her out of this. She looked so vulnerable standing there in her tiny dress, her figure dished.

''I won't buy it until I hear it from her'' Nate said and pushed back. Blair winced in the background. Mike had enough of it. He turned around and grabbed Blair by her arm, almost taking her with him. Almost. …Until Nate grabbed _him _and knocked the hell out of that bastard with one kick. Some of the guys from Mike's side caught their falling friend and received a warning look from Nate. No one dared to say anything. They all disappeared in a matter of seconds, including Mike.

It was just them standing there now, staring at each other's eyes.

''Did he hurt you?'' Nate asked quietly, breaking the silence

She shook her head no ''No, just take me away from here, please'' she pleaded, her voice still shaky from all the adrenaline and fear she felt a couple of minutes ago. He nodded and nudged his head in the direction of his Harley.

Another motorcycle ride, great. Little did she know, this one won't be as unpleasant.

* * *

To be continued

Now here is where things get real, but you know how it goes, you wanna read more you have to review…the other chapter is waiting for you. xo L


	4. I like what I see,I like it a lot

See reviewing really motivates me and makes me update faster. Thanks for the great feedback and of course keep it coming.  
Also, I know it's a short chapter but I wanted to give you at least something to show of how grateful I am for your support, love you guys, I hope you enjoy :) I promise you,next chapters will be waaay longer, no worries, this is just my exception.

* * *

''Hold tight'' he said indicating for her to wrap her arms around him. Well it was better than wrapping her arms around Mike, right?

He smiled as he felt her hands on his lower abs and her front pressed against his back, it all felt too good. He smiled and started the motorcycle. She tried to keep some distance after all between them but she had the perfect excuse of being too cold or the wind blowing in her face to nudge herself completely in to him. He didn't seem to mind…the weirdest part of all was, she didn't also.

Her head felt heavy so she let it rest on his shoulder. She closed her eyes enjoying the moment. She decided she would regret being this cuddly around him tomorrow, she had enough of rough talk and actions tonight, she was in the mood for a warm embrace and this was the closest she would get to it.

The moment was all too nice to last long; of course something had to ruin it. Oh no, not just something. A huge ass truck, passing right by them, spraying a shit load of water all over them. He heard her scream at the contact with the cold water and laughed immediately.

''Pull over right now'' she screamed and punched his shoulder once to fast-forward it.

''Okay okay…gosh it's just a little water'' he said laughing as he pulled over and she got off the bike. He turned around to see her and broke out laughing, seeing her head to toe wet figure.

''JUST A LITTLE WATER?'' she screamed and started walking in the middle of the road like a crazy person.

''First of all this moron talks about his stupid motorcycle and his mom the whole damn night then he drags me to some kind of a gang bang meeting and starts groping me like a horny pedophile... then comes the knight in shining armor-'' she said frantically and pointed at him ''- and punches the hell out of my 'date''' she air quoted ''-and then I end up on a freaking motorcycle once again and like that isn't frustrating enough I get splashed to my core''

Nate got off his bike and walked over to her, grabbing her shoulders and stopping her mad movements.

''Okay, first of all you have got to calm the hell down-'' his brows furrowed as he looked at her once more ''-You've got crazy eyes''

She glared at him and he sent her an 'I told you so look'

''Second of all, yes that asshole made your night a freaking mess, but let's be real, the Nate Archibald part of it-'' he pointed to himself and suggestively wiggled his eyebrows ''-was fucking awesome, I rocked your world'' he said and made her crack a little laugh. He could see she was trying to be serious, but that smile was playing at the corners of her delicate lips.

_She's so adorable it's ridiculous_, he thought immediately.

''And third-'' he said and took his leather jacket of handing it to her ''-put this on before you freeze''

Well that wasn't fair. She was supposed to hate him and he was supposed to be a complete arrogant jackass, where was all that now?

Universe: 1 ; Blair: 0

''I have to change-'' she said and took his jacket. She nudged him in the direction away from her and turned him around. ''-in private'' she pronounced

''Yeah I'm sure you'll find a nice niche here in the middle of the road, I hear there's a great collection of trees over there-'' he teased pointing to the wood nearby ''- also vultures and psychopaths''

''Just shut up'' she said and took of her drenched dress when she was sure he wasn't looking, she turned around once more, just to be sure he wasn't peeking... and of course

''I said don't look'' she yelled and threw her drenched dress at him. She could hear him chuckling in the background.

If only it were so easy not to look at her, what he saw for a brief second was quite impressive. He sat back on the bike and unsuspiciously adjusted the side mirror so he had a first row seat to the production of Blair Waldorf's amazing curves.

Sure his jacket over only her Victoria Secret lacy underwear didn't cover a lot, but it was something. She zipped the jacket all the way up, making sure to cover as much of herself as possible. She marched over only to find a perfect view of where she was just changing displayed on his side mirror.

She was asking herself where that complete arrogant jackass was? Right here.

''Son of a bitch'' she hissed and punched him hard before sitting back with him

''Oooww-'' he growled ''-you know it's not nice to continuously punch the guy who saved your ass from a really crappy first date'' he teased as always, starting the bike

''If it's the same guy who keeps continuously staring at your ass, yes it is'' she returned the snarky comment and wrapped her arms around him

He let out that charming chuckle and made her insides melt a tiny bit, as she mentioned earlier she would regret being this mushy with him later… or so she thought.

''What?'' she asked seeing his grin

He just shook his head and laughed ''You're just too good to be true''

* * *

Most of the times Blair loved the city that never sleeps, now standing in front of her apartment building in her lacy underwear and a leather jacket, with a guy….she wished it did sleep…at least her neighbors…and people passing them by.

''I know I said a lot of stuff about you….and called you a man whore, Archibald…which you still are…no no, my point is-'' her tongue got tied, as usual she was being her _can't-keep-it-to-myself_ self and blabbering ''-you actually were really nice to me tonight...besides staring at my ass'' she had to add

''I guess I see you at work tomorrow'' she said and handed him his jacket, turning towards her building, when she felt his hand on her arm, swirling her around back to him. If one of them moved an inch there sure would be some lip smacking action.

''Not so fast Waldorf-'' he said and smirked ''-you know it's really impolite to leave a knight in shining armor hanging-'' his hand got intertwined in her hair ''-without a good night kiss'' he whispered and released what felt like a huge cage of butterflies, not only in her stomach but her entire body. He moved the slightest inch closer, her eyes were already shut

''But then again, you did call me a man whore-'' he said against her lips and moved away abruptly ''-so let's just call it a night, sorry to disappoint you'' he winked and headed towards his bike, stopping for a second and turning around to see that frustrated furious look on her face…oh there it was.

She frowned angrily and turned around, quickly going up the stairs in to her building

''Asshole''

* * *

I know this was short but I think it was satisfying. I promise we get to the real deal in the next chapter, but you've got to understand we need to build up towards it, I couldn't just skip some of this parts, they're essential for the story. Don't forget to review xo L


	5. Or you can just do that

Oh God, finally! This story was supposed to be updated yesterday but fanfiction was being a bitch and blocked my laptop -.- I just got in now. This never happened before and I hope it won't again :) thank you all for the feedback and being patient, I really am trying as much as I can to update quicker and longer chapters. You have to know it takes minimal 3 hours of work to get this done and it's hard to push it in my daily schedule. But as I said, I love writing this and I hope you still like my stories. As always, review/favorite/follow. Enjoy!

I don't own any characters or songs used in this fiction, I only own the ideas.

Song: Booty call (how obvious can it be? xD)

* * *

''Oh crap, I have to go, I have a dinner date'' Blair said, quickly getting off her bed and started browsing through her closet

''woooah, a dinner date?-'' Serena said in a teasing tone ''-you sure it's just dinner? You know I'm begining to think he took my place over''

Blair rolled her eyes at her friend as she picked up one of her Chanel little black dresses. Whatever is she going to wear? It can't be too provocative or tied down; it's not a date, but at the same time it can't be too casual and ordinary

''Yes, just a dinner date. Nothing is going to happen…Nate and I are friends, just friends'' and she meant it. Ever since that night he 'saved' her they've been hanging out. It all started out with him apologizing the next day, for being a jerk when they met. He bought her red roses (her favorite, but that's not essential right now) and a box of macaroons as an apology (he told her Epperly said earlier the day that every girl loves them) and how could she say no to macaroons?

So that day they had lunch together, discovered they have so much in common and as they say, the rest is history.

They had lunch together every single day since that one. Then one week after, she ran in to him at ''_The black&white'' MoMA _exhibit. Those lunch dates quickly turned in to dinner dates, brunches, shopping together. They would go to the drive in cinema (imagine the surprise on her face when she saw him divided from his motorcycle, whom he seemed to be tied with). He would make her laugh the whole night while she threw popcorn at him. They would even go clubbing. Blair can't remember the last time she got as drunk as that Saturday a few weeks ago, the last thing she remembers were vodka shots and 50cent blasting in the background, she woke up the next morning on her apartments couch. A few questions formed immediately…What the hell happened last night? How did I get in here? Where's Nate? She left voicemails and tried calling him to get some answers, only to find him later…wrapped up in her pink Victoria Secret blanket, sleeping in her tub.

Hanging out with him had its difficulties though. Being at Nate's side at all times guaranteed a lot of jealous sideway looks and being mentally burned by every girl in the room. There were moments whene she just felt the need to disappear and close herself away…or at least leave him alone with them.

_Flashback_

_It was her fifth martini tonight and she knew she should stop now when she can, after all at least one of them has to be conscious enough to get them both home. She laughed at the memory of this last Saturday and finding him the next morning half naked, asleep in her tub. Those memories were soon replaced with the vision of what happened a while ago. Why did she even care if he was actually in to the girl who was hitting on him? They were just friends…still the fact that she disappeared an hour ago and there was not a single missed call on her phone and no one was looking for her, was hurtful._

_She guessed he was too busy with his playboy date. _

_She looked down beneath her, she was sitting on the top of the roof, the view of New York at night was beyond amazing, it would always make her forget her problems, even for a minute. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. A light breeze blew up and gave her shivers. She definitely wasn't dressed for being outside for so long. Her clubbing above knee length dress wasn't all that warming. But she would rather chose freezing outside than going in and witnes his make out session with that striper or whatever._

''_There you are'' she heard a voice behind her, he sounded relieved…so was she, she just didn't want to show it. _

''_Looks like it'' she said dryly, she refused to look at him, she was too mad right now…. But like always, she wouldn't let it show._

_He came over to her and wrapped his blazer around her petite shoulders. _

''_Thanks'' she murmured as he sat down to the ground, shoulder to shoulder with her_

''_Why did you disappear all of a sudden?'' he asked staring at distance like her_

_She snorted sarcastically and shook her head ''It wasn't that all of a sudden, besides I figured you wouldn't miss me'' she said, monotone and still refused to look at him._

_He raised his eyebrow realizing what this was. Of course. How could he be such a jackass? Ignoring girls for other girls was his oldest habit, that one was hard to get rid of. He usually didn't mind hurting the other ones, they would cure, but this wasn't just anyone, this was Blair. His first real girl friend,not in a relationship kind of way, the only woman who kept his attention without flashing her boobs out and doing all kinds of slutty things. Just the fact that he didn't even make a move on her (besides that night he drove her home and their almost kiss) to show his respect, it wasn't that he didn't want her thought, he did, but it was smarter to keep it in his pants at least once. She was his intellectual match, someone he really cared about, he wasn't about to blow it up like everything else in his life._

''_I-I-'' he started but lost words ''-I really care about you'' he said simply, he couldn't find better fitting words_

_She was kind of thrown off by the words, but she still wasn't convinced, if anyone knew how to sweet talk a girl into anything, it was him._

''_-in fact I care so much I spent the last hour driving from here to the Met steps and back'' he said and looked over at her._

''_What? Why?'' she asked finally looking at him. He gave her a goofy smile and sat a bit closer to her, one of his hands on making circles on her back_

''_Because you told me it was your favorite place in NY….and yes I did notice you went missing an hour ago, that's why I went looking for you, I figured it would be the first place you'd go to….then I remembered you have a thing for roof tops also''_

_And how could she not melt? Right then she promised herself it was the last time she would ever get jealous or hide away from him….but like all of the promises she makes to herself, this one will be broken too._

* * *

''You were right, that really was the best gelato ever'' she said as they exited the little coffee shop they got desert at

''Never doubt my prediction again'' he said smiling ''So what do you want to do now?''

''I don't know-'' she said as she stopped at the cross walk, the red light was on, he didn't seem to mind ''Nate-'' she screeched as he pulled her by her arm with him, they almost bumped in to a cab ''-the red light was on'' she said as they crossed the traffic lane. He just laughed at her dramatization and pat her back ''You my friend have spent your entire life waiting for the green light…live a little'' he said being his careless self. Sometimes she wished she could be that let down.

''How will I proceed to live if I get hit by a truck?'' she hissed and rolled her eyes

He just laughed and murmured something like 'Drama queen' to himself

''Besides getting ran over-'' she said once more sarcastically ''-I thought we could just stay in tonight and watch some movies, I don't really feel like clubbing tonight'' she said practically yelling for him to hear her over the loud NY streets, they were passing some kind of a traffic jam, it was madness out there.

''That's so romantic'' she said and gasped staring at the plasma screen. They were watching 'When Harry met Sally'. He just looked at her quizzically and took a sip of his beer

''That's a bunch of crap'' he said, ruining her moment

''Oh here we go'' she said, he did this cynical crap every time they watched anything even slightly romantic

''How can you be that cold blooded?'' she asked and took a swig of her own beer. She still couldn't believe she was actually drinking it; it was another side effect of hanging out with Nate

''Okay, see, everything was real up there until their feelings came. I can say right now I agree with Harry, I mean the guy was right, men and woman need sex to function…but when sex and feelings involved, shit happens''

''I partially agree, sex and feelings can mix but then it's not just sex anymore, it's-'' she air quoted ''-making love'' she said sarcastically, saying it alone made it sound even more stupid, there was no such thing in her mind, at least she never met someone she would feel so strongly about to experience it

''Aaaaand that's another pile of crap-'' he said and put his beer down ''-it's movies like that that make girls so deluded and obsessed with finding a perfect guy and falling in love and being all lovey dowey when in reality, those things don't happen''

''Exactly…that's why I'm so cold towards guys…I don't need a man to screw everything up for me…I have you for that'' she teased while he glared ''I'm just kidding-'' she started laughing ''-but seriously it's great to have a normal relationship, a friend kind of one….an intellectual one. We never fight-''

''-true'' he said handing her another beer ''-keep going''

She took a sip and nodded ''-there's no awkward silences….no jealousy-'' he smirked intentionally, still teasing her about that night on the roof top ''-not anymore'' she yelled and elbowed his ribs

''-sorry, sorry, you're right, keep going'' he said laughing

''-we're not crazy dependent on each other but still are always there for each another, there's no pressure''

''Yeah, it's a perfect relationship-'' he said but stopped ''-well there's only one thing missing''

She turned her head towards him, confused '' What is that?''

He took a long swig of the beverage ''Sex'' he said simply. She opened her mouth to talk but closed it again, this caused some thinking to both of them

''I guess you're right…no matter how perfect everything is there's always that one thing missing, isn't it'' she said and let her eyes wander over his body, now that he brought it up she couldn't stop thinking about it. She always was attracted to him, obviously, who wouldn't…but she usually finds a way to push it at the back of her mind, why couldn't she now?

''Yes…everything would be much simpler if you could have it all''

The thing she said next, and she doesn't even know whatever inside her got her to say it, would change the course of her current life forever

''Who says you can't'' she said and his mouth fell agape. For a brief moment he thought he was making it all up in his head. He looked at her and they held an honest eye contact for a moment, both of them silently searching for words.

''Exactly, it's just a physical activity-'' later she would remind him he said that ''- it's like exercise-''

''-Yes, like sports or something… we both know what we want it-''

''-and we need it to function, right?'' they were both standing up right now, neither of them sure how they got to this, but more glad then they wanted to admit

_Yeah I really want to get it on with you  
And from the very second that I saw you  
Knew you were gonna be my new booty call  
__And that's all I've been thinking about it all day long  
Just don't go falling in love_

''Yes'' she said and inhaled deeply, for a moment she forgot how to breathe, she still couldn't believe she would be as bold as this, looks like he had more impact on her than she thought, positive impact of course, she felt a lot more confident while around him.

''Are you sure?'' he had to ask, this wasn't just a random hookup

She looked in to his eyes; hers sparkled like he never saw before…it was like fire burning.

''Absolutely'' she said confident ''-this is just…you know, sex right?'' she had to add

''Yes…I don't want a serious relationship….I just need something carefree and fun…and you can give it to me'' he stepped closer, his hands roaming over her hips. Her breath hitched, even his words made her hot

''Fine-'' she pushed him down to the couch playfully ''-but first, we need some ground rules''

He smirked and raised an eyebrow ''sure''

''First, this is purely physical, no feelings whatsoever involved-'' she said and wrote it down on a piece of paper ''-second, when one of us decides he/she had enough it's done-'' he added to the list ''-exactly, no hard feelings'' she said

''Third, this in no way will affect our friendship-''

''-Yes that's the most important one, I don't want to lose you as a friend'' she said

''-you won't Blair, if anything we'll trust each other more and be closer''

''I know-'' she said and smiled ''-Oh I've got one, this-'' she pointed between him and herself ''-no one can find out…especially not Epperly or anyone''

''Yes, we can't get our careers in danger, write that down'' she did as he told and put the pen down

''I think that's all-''

''Well yeah, so-'' he put his paper away and looked at her ''-we can go to your room and start slow or-'' his sentence was cut off by her straddling him and doing what she wanted to for so long, kissing him with her last breath. His hand cupped her ass as he deepened the kiss. After a while they finally broke their amazing kiss

''-or you could just, you know, do that'' he teased as he lifted her in his arms

This was going to be a long night…

To be continued

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Well there you go, you know how things go from here, you review I update :D I hope you enjoyed xo L


	6. Sadistic minx

It's time for another update, I'm sorry if it took a while, I really wish I could just update this every day, but it's impossible. Thank you for your reviews and keep them going, it makes me feel appreciated, you know. Since this is an M rated story I suppose there's no need for specifically warning you about explicit sex scenes and so. I hope you enjoy.

Song: Bad things

* * *

People change, things also do. They change so quickly you don't even know what's gotten you. for instance a month ago she despised his bare nature and wanted him to be eaten by a lion…now however, this very moment, he was devouring her on her kitchen counter.

She had a feeling it would happen now or ever, even though she labeled herself as a down to earth, librarian type of girl, and dated guys like that….deep down she had a spot for bad boys. And this one was very very bad.

She would be lying if she said she never thought of having sex with him. The guy was all wanting blue eyes, buffed, toned body, total sex on legs. His arrogant nature was a well deserved bonus. She was tired of all these good guys, flowers, chocolates, shy kisses and crap.

The way he was kissing her at this very moment was far away from shy. He somehow managed to be forceful and aggressive, but never to cross the line of sanity.

His sculpted lips were fire down her neck. Groans coming from the back of her throat impossible to tame down…

''Oh yes'' a single lusted moan leaving her lips was alone enough to send him high, but he knew better. Who ever thought she was such a sexual creature. He was more than glad to release that birdie from its cage.

She always was so quiet, concentrated on her work, never giving him away a glance. Thinking of it now, he was glad she didn't, if she did, he would be determined to destroy himself inside.

This option was much better; after all, destroying her kitchen was far more satisfying.

Just as he thought of it a sharp loud noise of glass shattering filled the room. Their bare panting was almost too loud for them to notice.

''Trying to break my champagne glasses like you broke my guard down, Archibald?'' she murmured against his lips teasingly as she was put down on her counter, he had no mercy upon her.

He chuckled and brought his lips back to her neck

''Now what will we drink champagne from'' she said wistfully

''Doesn't matter baby, I can think of a few other ways-'' he whispered huskily in to her ear ''-besides, everything tastes better when you consume it-'' he stopped to kiss her shoulder ''-from a right dish'' he said and kissed along her jaw, he was driving her absolutely insane, his dirty talk (that she encouraged, mind you) wasn't helping her contain.

''Oh really-'' she purred in his ear, she could play dirty too ''-well you're all talk, I'd like to see you actually do something about it'' she heard his sexy chuckle in respond

''I always knew you were trouble-'' his hands roamed over her tights, pushing her Valentino skirt up ''-ever since our first encounter-'' he pressed himself harder against her, she could feel his growing bulge against her center ''-no girl with an ass like that-'' he said and grabbed her behind in the most groping, sexiest kind of way ''-could be that wholesome'' she moaned in response to his touch and tightened her hold on him.

She was lifted from the counter and led in to her bedroom. Some other irrelevant stuff was also knocked down in the process. He playfully pushed her down on her bed and gotten on top of her. The feeling of having her in his mercy was indescribable; he never felt such a rush in his life.

The pressure of his hands on her wrists slowly started to subside, and in no time he was all over her. He easily ripped her revealing top apart, leaving her amazing curves laid for his eyes to observe, the only thing in his way was her silky black bra, hiding those two fleshy mounds from his gaze. He would soon make sure that wasn't an obstacle anymore.

She was so consumed in the pleasure he was giving her, she forgot how overly dressed he was right now. She decided to take the matter in her own hands, since he was too endured in staring at her boobs right now.

Her hands were soon under his dress shirt, unbuttoning it rapidly, she wanted it off as soon as possible. She pushed it down from his shoulders and gasped observing the view, all her predictions about his godlike physique were true.

She couldn't help but let her hands roam over his hot skin and enjoy the sensation. She nudged him up and pushed him down straddling him.

''It's my turn to devour you now'' she whispered sexily in his ear and made him groan. God, could she be any sexier than that…his thoughts were soon clouded when she started kissing along his skin, he could feel her every kiss burn deep in to his complexion.

The moment this thing started they were both positive this was a no boundaries zone. After all, the whole point of this was sex. They were allowed to do anything, go as far as they wanted to. It was their duty to relive any fantasy, any kinky desire with each other.

He thought he had a lot of self control, but the moment he felt her hands pulling down his zipper and brushing past his erection, every ounce of self control was far behind.

She was surprised when she felt his arms grab her body and pin her underneath him once again, already biting in to her neck, his hands were now cupping her breasts. She could see he wasn't holding back anymore and she couldn't help but feel anticipation and rush, she just waited for him to explode, lucky for her, she didn't have to wait for long.

He slipped her bra of in no time and she couldn't help but wonder where he learned to do it that quickly. Lot of practicing on other girls, she thought and felt herself get bitter so she pushed the thought of her mind. She knew better than to over think this and ruin it for both of them.

The following events were still in a haze now, all she remembers is a lot of touching, dirty talk and sucking on each other's skin. Then in no time his hand was probed between her legs, sending her to another dimension, her first orgasm of the night so overpowering she actually made wounds down his back, and that still wasn't the main event. Sure the boy was good with his hands and his mouth, but could her perform for the big league…

Oh yes he could.

_When you came in the air went out.__  
__And every shadow filled up with doubt.__  
__I don't know who you think you are,__  
__But before the night is through,__  
__I wanna do bad things with you.  
_

_I'm the kind to sit up in his room.__  
__Heart sick an' eyes filled up with blue.__  
__I don't know what you've done to me,__  
__But I know this much is true:__  
__I wanna do bad things with you._

She finally managed to pull his pants down and set some relief trough him, he was so hard by now, it was painful keeping it in his pants. He kissed her long and slow as her hands started pulling his boxers down, agonizingly slow.

To say that he was well endowed was underselling it. No wonder he was popular with the ladies...another jealous thought, stop it Blair.

Now that they were finally completely naked, just his skin against hers, all of this felt real, and that one was hard to believe.

The friction their bodies made caused her to feel so hot underneath his touch, she grasped his hair with one hand while her other one was pressed against his back, trying to pull his body even closer to hers, as if it was physically possible.

''Oh Nate-'' she moaned in desperation ''-I need you inside me, now'' she said breathlessly and let him kiss her.

He smiled deviously against her lips and traced her jaw with his bottom lip, stopping near her ear

''You want me?'' he teased, his voice pure sex. His hand traced down to her center again, she was so wet for him it was hard not to just plunge himself inside her and fuck her insides raw.

''Yes'' she shot right away, she thought she would be more contained than this, but that was far behind when his naked body wasn't pressed to hers and when his hands were on his beer, not her core.

''Tell me how much you want me'' he said and quickened his pace

''I want you so bad I'm willing to beg'' she said breathlessly and gave him that sultry suggesting look of hers. It was that devilish look that did it, there would be no more games for now, he needed to be inside her before he loses it.

His hands left her hot center and just as she was about to fuss about the lost of contact he entered her with his full length. She never felt more fulfilled or aroused in her life. She let her eyes roll in the back of her skull.

At first it was slow, they moved in sync, treasuring every second of it, but the more time passed the faster and harder they both needed it. At one point it got so heated the bed was moving with them and started crashing against the walls, causing some of the hanging picture frames to change their angle.

Her first thought: My neighbors know someone's nailing me right now. Her second thought: I don't even give a shit

The friction her pelvic bones caused against his was so agonizingly pleasurable it almost sent him over edge. She was so perfectly tight for him, it basically made it impossible to slow the process down.

''Fuck, I'm so close baby '' he groaned against the skin of her neck and bit a sensitive spot, implying even more sensation to flow through her blood.

He could feel her inner muscles clench around his length and soon it was all moans and her nails digging deep down his back. He was gone not a second after. He continued rocking in and out of her slowly for some time more, making sure to ride out their collective orgasms.

He barely managed to keep balance above her pulsating body. He collapsed next to her on the bed and took a deep breath

''Well that-'' she tried to steady her breath while she supported herself on her elbows ''-was powerful''

''Yeah-'' he lifted himself up in a sitting position and looked over her apartment; a knocked out lamp, broken glass on the floor, clothes hanging from everywhere-like her panties on the door knob, few knocked out pictures and her bed a foot out of place ''-really powerful''

A short moment of pleasant silence fell over them, until they heard someone knocking rapidly on her front door.

''Blair open up-'' she could hear her friends voice on the other side of the door ''-I know you're home, your light is on''

''Fuck'' Blair hissed silently and got up quickly grabbing a shirt nearby and shoving it on to herself ''-you have to hide'' she said as she picked his jeans of the floor and threw them at him

''Well where the hell should I do that'' he whispered back rapidly, putting on his boxers.

''Never mind, I have the key, I'm coming in'' they could hear Serena say and starting to unlock the doors.

Blair pushed Nate towards her room closet and shoved him inside ''-I promise I'll get rid of her as soon as I can-''

''-but-'' she already closed the door

''Serena'' he could hear shushed voices in the background. Well to hell with it all, at least she could've pushed him in to her walk in closet. He tried to make room for himself and accidentally dropped some of her dresses. The scent of her perfume coated clothes made him shiver.

''Chuck and I broke up'' Serena cried as Blair gave her a hug

''Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry''

''I should have known he was no good from the start, the guy owns a freaking burlesque club, why am I not surprised he cheated on me''

''Wait a minute….Chuck?'' Nate muttered to himself, so his best friend and her best friend were together all this time? Oh this oughta be good.

'' Well sometimes you've gotta give a bad boy a chance, you would be surprised'' Blair said, her head still in clouds from just minutes earlier. Oh come on Blair, concentrate…but how could she concentrate on solving her friends life crises and broken heart when she just had mind blowing sex five minutes ago, she was still out of herself.

''What?'' Serena gave her a weird look and suddenly realized something ''What the hell happened to your apartment?''

They were interrupted by loud barking in the back ground

''Shhh, go away-'' Nate whispered trying to get her dog (who acted like he was on steroids) to go away

''Ummm Teddy did it'' she said and quickly ran over to her room, closing the doors behind her just to be safe and pulling her yorkie away from the closet

''Hurry up'' Nate muttered, his upper body peeking from her closet

''I can't just kick her out, your stupid friend cheated on her'' she muttered back

''Who're you talking to?'' Serena yelled from her kitchen

''No one, I'm coming-'' she yelled back ''- I'll try to drag her to the living room, you can either go out through the window or wait in here'' she said and grinned, she knew exactly what she was doing to him, her apartment was on the 4th floor, there was no way of him going out now, she had him trapped.

''You're so mean'' he said shaking his head, smiling mischievously

''Exactly'' she whispered and leaned in to give him a quick peck

''So now you're getting me turned on too-'' she heard him growl while she pulled away and moved from his touch

''-sadistic little minx'' he said as she pushed him back inside and closed the closet

''Blair'' Serena entered the room and scared the crap out of Blair

''Serena, I was just on my way'' she said, trying to remain casual and grabbed Teddy of the floor ''-Let's go to the living room, I have a box of Hagen dazs with your name on it'' she said and pulled her friend away

''Well I could always go for ice-cream I guess-'' she said but stopped mid way ''-Blair, why are you wearing a guy's shirt?''

Well fuck it.

_To be continued_

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I hope you liked it :) review/follow/favorite. Till next update xo L


	7. Well,well

I am so so incredibly sorry for being a jerk and having you wait so long for an update, you know it's not my policy, but it's been a hectic week and a lot of stuff is going on so you have to bear with me. I promise I'll try not to let it happen ever again. But here I am, trying to write this chapter for three days already and failing miserably cause someone or something is always distracting me. I apologize if the chapter you're about to read sucks, I hope it won't ;(

* * *

''I'm not wearing a guy shirt'' she said and got out of the room, she really loved her best friend but right now she wanted to catapult her away, if someone knew how to pick a time it was….definitely not her.

''Yes you are-'' she said and tugged on the sleeve ''-it even smells of cologne….a very good one, Blair?'' she suspiciously eyed her

''Serena?''

''What is going on, first the broken stuff, your dog barking at the-'' she spaced out and her eyes averted to her room. Blair didn't even got a chance to react, the blond one was firing trough her apartment in to her room

''SERENA'' she yelled after, desperate to stop her. If Serena found out, everything would be ruined. The whole point of their agreement was for no one to find out. That included Serena. If one person knew (especially one of their best friends) the whole thing would fall apart, and she did not want that to happen. Now that she has tasted the amazing chocolate that is Nate Archibald, she was not going back to boring guys.

''I knew it-'' Serena yelled teasingly as she flung the closet doors open, her smile faded quickly ''-wait what the-''

Blair came over to her side and sighed deeply when she saw the empty closet

''What now?'' Blair said and raised an eyebrow at Serena

''I thought…..never mind'' she rolled her eyes and went back to the living room. Blair quickly looked the whole room over, trying to spot a certain gold haired boy, only there was no sign of the mentioned gentleman anywhere.

''Damn you Archibald'' she muttered to herself and went over to Serena

''I'm so sorry Blair, I'm just so frantic and messed up right now, I-'' she stopped, a tear rolling down her cheek ''-I think I'm in love with him''

Blair listened and listened to the same stuff she had to go through every two months. Unlike herself, her friend was a hardcore romantic, very gullible and falling in love all the time. So she always found a way to barge in to a line of assholes who led her on and broke her heart. It was fascinating to Blair, cause she was never like that. By this time she wasn't sure she ever experienced true love, it was just too much pressure.

Either the timing wasn't right, or the guy did something, or it was just herself. She figured she didn't need a man in her life, she was doing just well herself….until a certain Archibald walked in to her life, but that was different, he is not a love interest she figured, he is a benefit.

''Oh Serena…I wish you'd stop doing this to yourself-'' she said and hugged the dished blonde ''-you're better than that, you know it. You're Serena freaking van der Woodsen, you don't need a guy to make you feel special'' she finally managed to put a smile on her face

''Blair…I just don't understand why you're not married yet-'' she said and laughed ''-every guy can only dream of having by his side, you should be an endangered species, girls like that don't exist anymore''

''Stop it'' Blair said smiling, for a moment forgetting this wasn't the perfect time to stall around

''I should go now'' Serena said and got of the chaise

''Are you sure you can be alone tonight?'' what are you doing Blair? You're supposed to be making her go, not offering her company

''Yes, I think some time alone is exactly what I need'' she said and opened the front door

''Well if you crash, I'm only a cab ride away'' Blair said and hugged her tightly

''Thanks, you really are a great friend Blair-'' she stepped out ''-and I still don't know why you're wearing a guy shirt'' she laughed

''Byeee Serena'' Blair said and closed the door

Nate heard the doors close and let out a sigh of relief, he was freezing on the damn balcony, plus he was positive her 70-something neighbor wasn't appreciating his half naked appearance out there.

He finally came inside but decided he would play with her some more, after all, she had him hide out in her closet and outside because of her friend, she could suffer too.

He cautiously closed the door, careful not to make a noise and hid behind one of those long curtains covering her huge New York apartment windows.

He could hear her getting closer by a second.

''Nate'' she called out, almost a whisper, supposedly she got used to whispering. For a short amount of time she disappeared from the room but came back a minute after, minus his dress shirt, now she was only wearing a pair of laced panties with a matching red demi bra. Oh yes, she was definitely trying to kill him.

He took some time to admire how perfect her body was, every curve, her skin pure silk, absorbing some of the moonlight coming from the New York sphere, her curls were cascading down her back as she pushed her hair behind. She truly was hauntingly beautiful.

He scolded himself right after, for even thinking that. Control Archibald, expressions like that were not acceptable for the situation they found themselves in. Hot, fiery, fuckable…that was more appropriate.

Obviously she gave up on searching for him, she knew he would come out any second, she knew just how to make it happen quicker. So she put on the most kinky pair of underwear she could find in her bathroom, the one that barely covered her ass and made her breasts seem twice their size. She put her hair back and swished to the bedroom, turning of the lights one by one, letting the candles settle and round up the radiating '_Hey Natie, it's me horny'_ mood.

She was about to lit up the last candle when she felt a pair of toned arms wrapping around her waist, pulling her closer.

''Well, well, look who's finally showing up'' she said, still not turning around, proceeding to lit up the candle and blowing on the burning match.

''Well, well, look who's finally done jabbering with her blond friend'' he said, returning the favor. She chuckled quietly and finally made a move. Her hands found his that were somewhere down her tights and pushed them away. She turned around quickly and caught his surprised expression.

''Well the jabbering blonde friend has exhausted me so I'm afraid sleeping is all I have strength for right now'' she said and sent him a teasing smile, she passed right by him, making sure to ''accidentally'' brush past his manhood and slipped in to her covers. She could hear him laugh in agony. Both of them knew this was far from over. But she played along; she grabbed her sleeping mask from the night stand and pulled it over her eyes, pretending to sleep. She left the covers half undone intentionally, so they still projected her exposed body to him

Just as she planned a warm body was soon pressed against hers, it sent a tingling sensation down her spine. He leaned in softly leaving a trail of pecks along her neck, his hot lips burning deep inside her.

''But it's so early now, isn't it-'' he continued his seduction and let his bottom lip trail her jaw line ''-it's such a shame to waste our time sleeping'' he said in a husky voice, his hand pulled down the covers and stroked along her tanned legs

''Well-'' she said, her own gasp interrupting her ''-I guess you are right''

He was kissing between her chest and continued down her navel

''What does that mean then?'' he asked stopping his motion to drive her crazy

She pulled down her sleeping mask and grabbed him by his shoulders, bringing him closer to her. She kissed him passionately before pulling back, her lips lingering against his ones

''Devour me''

* * *

Yeah I know it's so short and it kind of sucks, but at least it's smutty, the next one is going to be so much longer and updated faster, I promise. I think it was a success for me to even write this much in this rush, but I didn't want for you to wait any longer, I had to give you at least something :) Don't forget to review and all that, thank you and I seriously love you guys, I'm sending my virtual hugs and kisses to all of you.


	8. Elevator rides and discussions

As I promised the new chapter would be posted much earlier, it is. Also it's longer, just like I said, and I keep my promises :)) especially the ones I make to sweet people like you guys, who are putting up with my crazy updates and stuff. You are the best, as long as there are still people reading, I'll keep posting, even if it took 10 years :')

I'm trying to write this both Nate and Blair POV, but it always comes out more of B's POV. I don't know why, do you guys mind? Would you like some more Nate point of view? Please feel free to tell me, it won't be a problem, I just need to get in to the character.

Song: I knew you were trouble, Wannabe

* * *

''So you keep me posted about the situation on the west coast and you deal with all this papers-'' Epperly spoke as she piled files and a bunch of papers in her lap ''-don't forget to call Alexander and check out the deal they offer us for the spring collection, if it's anything under 20 000 we say no, okay?'' she spoke one mile per hour and Blair already felt sick from all the work there had to be done. The only positive spark was a certain someone she shared her office with, maybe getting lost in the papers wouldn't be so bad after all….especially if she wasn't getting lost all by herself.

A goofy grin and dirty thoughts filled her head so she decided to fully space out and not pay attention to Epperly any longer. This was so not Blair. When did she ever not care about her job and decided to live on the fun part of life? Never. She said so many times last year she wanted to change. Well this was her doing it (or rather say someone else doing her) it was a new year, new beginning, and hers was an explosive one.

''-and then pick up the Runners file from the downtown office, kay?'' Epperly continued, probably thinking Blair was paying any attention at all, oops.

Currently there was only one person who could gain her attention and he just walked through the front door of W. His bad boy look was still in place, he was probably the only guy she could find leather jacket and Ray-bans hot on. The guys who usually dress like that are either punk ass annoying hipsters or wannabe bad boys. That look came with an attitude…and he definitely had that.

_I guess you didn't care__  
__And I guess I liked that__  
__And when I fell hard__  
__You took a step back__  
__Without me, without me, without me  
_

_And he's long gone__  
__When he's next to me__  
__And I realize the blame is on me_

_Cause I knew you were trouble when you walked in__  
__So shame on me now__  
__Flew me to places i'd never been__  
__So you put me down oh__  
__I knew you were trouble when you walked in__  
__So shame on me now__  
__Flew me to places i'd never been__  
__Now i'm lying on the cold hard ground__  
__Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble_

He walked inside and the whole female body of W was already on his case, batting their eyelashes acting like they stand a chance.

_Too bad he's all mine bitches._

He flew trough all those girls, sporting that seductive grin he always wore, even his face was suggestively sexual; he didn't even have to try. She let herself stare a moment too long only to get interrupt by her boss.

''BLAIR'' Epperly tried to get her attention, what was up with this girl today, anyways?

''Oh yeah, sure…I'll definitely do that'' She shrugged her off quickly and disappeared towards the elevator. She wanted to be there before him.

If you called her out for obviously trying too hard she would deny it to her grave, but the fact was, she wore a dress shorter than other times, her heels were a few inches higher, her hair a perfectly organized mess of wild curls and her step held a certain bounce to it. This was all a big game that could start at any minute and stop just that way. She had to make it memorable.

Just as she pushed the button to her floor someone stopped the double doors from closing.

She rolled her eyes, expecting some stuck up model or a middle aged annoying partner to pop up…..but no…..she was oh sooo wrong. Turns out she was not that ahead of him after all.

She amusedly watched his jaw expand as he took her appearance in, inch by inch.

''Wow-'' he said as his voice trailed away, he wasn't even trying to hide the fact that he was ogling

''Late again Archibald?'' she said teasingly as always, it was their form of talking.

''You're the one standing in the elevator with me Waldorf, shouldn't _you_ be working?''

She waved a hand full of papers in front of his face ''I am working-'' she said and leaned against the side wall of the elevator. He took a step closer, so close their bodies now touched ''-and I should not be disturbed'' she whispered, his lips were already inches from hers.

He nodded as his arms found a way around her waist ''Of course…it's just-'' his hand were sliding up and down her sides ''-you seem so tight-'' she moaned deeply as he placed a kiss against her neck ''-so stressed-'' he pressed a hold button on the elevator and threw his jacket across the security camera ''-as your coworker it's my job to relieve all that pent up tension''

''Oh really-'' she said against his lips ''-how are you going to do that?''

His smirk was all she could see before she was eloped in a deep kiss and pushed against an elevator wall.

She quickly pulled his shirt over his head and let her hands roam down his torso to his pants. The fact that they were in an elevator on their workplace, where there was a high possibility someone will barge in on them anytime was almost as exciting as the bare sex.

He bit in to her dress strap and pulled it down with his teeth, his bottom lip trailing his way back. He quickly discarded her the dress, letting his hands roam over her hot body

''You are driving me insane Blair'' he breathed out as he entered her.

''God yes-'' she panted as he continued to push himself inside her, pushing harder with every trust, trying to make her come as fast as he could before they got suspicious. He didn't really cared about the job, but the idea of banging her in their office or places like this was worth enough not to get fired.

Her nails dug deep in to his back, feeling the scratches from last night come to life too.

''I'm so close'' she groaned. He held her tighter to himself feeling her walls clench around him.

''Cum for me baby-'' he slowly pulled himself so he was almost out, only to plunge in to her with more force than before ''Come on''

That last stroke and his husky voice were her undoing; she let herself go in his strong arms, her back still pressed against the cold metal wall. He came right after her, slowing down his pace.

It took some time to collect their breathing, this was all so quick her head started spinning. One minute she's discussing her boss about all the work she needs to get done today and the next one she's going all hot and heavy with her business partner/best friend/fuck buddy inside an elevator.

The elevator door dinged just on time as she adjusted her dress back on

''See-'' he started heading towards their office ''-I told you I could relieve all that stress'' he smirked and went in.

''Of course you could'' she muttered sweetly to herself and followed him in.

* * *

''You can't possibly tell me Backstreet Boys were better than Spice Girls, its common sense'' she said continuing their random discussion; how the hell did they get from talking about renaissance art to this? The two aren't even related.

''Backstreet boys were original, those chicks were put together to compete with them-'' he took off his shirt ''-and they failed

''That is so not true-'' she said and laid herself down on his bed ''-I mean just look at Posh, she scored David Beckham and is now a successful mother-''

''-She's a poser with a bad tan and a failed breast enlargement surgery, you lose right there'' he argumented while taking off his pants, she always was quicker in taking off her clothes than him.

Blair supported herself on her elbows and raised a brow ''I sense a Spice hater….and I do not sleep with Spice haters'' she pouted and moved away from him when he laid next to her.

''Fine-'' he rolled his eyes ''-Spice Girls are better than Backstreet Boys'' he finally got on top of her

''You're just saying that to get laid'' he heard her speak as he kissed her neck

''Well obviously'' he groaned and pulled himself up to meet her eyes.

He was faced with a fierce expression, her small hands pushing him up

''Well obviously you aren't going to'' she said like an angry five year old and closed herself in his bathroom. She didn't really care at all about the Spice Girls, she just wanted to make him suffer a bit, she was feeling playful and spoiled today.

''Oh come on Blair-'' she heard his voice from the other side of the door as he pouted to her ''-you can't leave me all alone in here, it's dark, I'm scared'' he joked and made her smile, how could she resist his adorableness?

''Not until you admit Posh is the queen of our generation'' she had to laugh herself at the nonsense she was making him say, looks like guys really were ready to do anything to get laid.

''Fine, I admit, would you come out now so we can do it?'' he said being a typical guy, she laughed at how directive he was

''Still not buying it'' she said and sat down on the edge of his tub.

''Fine, what do you want me to do to prove it? You want me to sing? I'll sing-'' he yelled across the door and started blasting out Wannabe, Blair laughed so hard her stomach started hurting. It would be even better if he had no tune but his voice was actually nice to listen to.

'' Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,  
So tell me what you want, what you really really want''

''You're doing great hon-'' Blair laughed from the other side of the door

'' If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends  
Make it something something friendship never eeeeends''

''Now repeat one more time –Posh is the queen of our generation''

''POSH IS THE QUEEN OF OUR GENERATION'' she heard him yell and literally came apart from laughing, she was already unlocking the door of the bathroom when a voice came in the picture

''Nate?!'' A voice interrupted from the hallway

Nate immediately turned around and faced Chuck who just got in to his bedroom (to find him in his underwear singing Spice Girls songs)

''What the actual hell?'' his confused friend asked looking at him like he was mad

Blair had to put her hand over her mouth to stop herself from cracking up and keep quiet, this was even better than she planned.

''What are you doing here, I thought you were in Japan or something till Saturday'' Nate said trying to avert this conversation in another direction

''My flight came early…so this is what you do when I'm not around, interesting-'' Chuck said, beyond amused ''Well I'm gonna go to my room now…try not to burst in to a song'' his friend teased and went out. He was gonna suffer the consequences of this for the rest of his life.

As soon as the doors closed he burst in to the bathroom, his lips pressed together but a compressed smile somewhere along the lines. She had a grin plastered across her face, a proud one.

''You are so going to pay for this-'' he said getting closer, a mischievous smile on his face

''That was beyond my wildest dreams, seriously Nate, you should join a choir, there's a career waiting for you there'' she teased laughing

''Shut up-'' he said laughing. He came closer and lifted her up. She squealed as she got picked up

''Where are you taking me?'' she whispered, they still had to think of Chuck. He put her down on his bed went to lock the door of his room (something he should've done earlier today) to retrieve back and press her against his bed

''I am here to take my prize….just so you know-'' he said taking off her bra ''-that little play just earned me a shit load of sex''

''Mmmmm whatever you say Posh-'' she murmured against his lips

* * *

I really wanted to write a fun chapter and the bare thought of Nate singing Spice Girls cracks me up xD I hope it was satisfying :)) don't forget to review. Xo L


	9. How long before you tell the truth?

We're back on track! Thank you for all the lovely reviews and keep them coming, it urges me to write more. I hope you'll enjoy this :) Also for those wondering about my unfinished stories, I don't want there to be any confusion, the only one that's unfinished is the 'Honeymoon' one, the others are done. As I said before I will find the time to finish that one sometime, but right now I have no inspiration to write it :/ as soon as I get some I'll do it.

Song: Supermassive black hole

* * *

''-so I told him you actually were available this time aaaand-'' Serena stalked, a bit unease to say the next bit, knowing her best friend she would be pissed

''And?'' Blair repeated already sounding suspicious

''-Well I kind of told him that you're gonna go out with him tonight'' she said her voice quieting down, kind of appalled of how Blair would react

Well crap. This was one of the problems of keeping a secret banging relationship, how could she explain to Serena she can't go out with this guy (whom Serena tried to set her up with for some time now) because she is secretly doing it with her coworker who is also her best male friend and it would be awkward to go out with this guy and then have him drive her home where there's already someone else waiting for her. Even worse, him driving her to Nate's place. Ugh the whole thing was utterly messed up, but she knew what she was getting herself in to before it even started.

''Serena-'' she started, this was going to be like explaining to a five year old ''-I told you-''

''-Why do you always keep on doing this? Come on Blair, it's not like you're with someone-'' Serena's words made her gulp ''-and he really is such a great guy, come on, one time, if you do this now I promise I'll never ask you for anything ever again'' well that just wasn't true

Blair took a long deep breath. If it would make her shut up…

''Fine. But just one date, and that's it''

''One date'' Serena repeated ''I'm so excited, this is going to end well, I have a feeling''

Yeah, so well… what the hell is she going to say to Nate? They did say going out with other people was completely fine, but none of them said anything by now. And they didn't have to, all because of Serena she's going to blow this thing up and it's going to end in a disaster.

''Well I have an appointment at Fekkai now, you'll totally call me after with the details, right?'' she said excitedly as she got up. If it was so exciting for her, why didn't she go out with him and spare Blair the trouble?

''Yeah, okay'' she was still extremely uncomfortable with the whole situation, also partially scared.

She picked her brain for good two hours while soaking her milky skin in her porcelain foam filled tub.

Whether to tell him or not to tell him? Her mind started playing tricks on her and she quickly lost herself. It was the buzzing of her phone that got her attention.

Seeing the callers ID sent her mad. This was going to be wrecking, her nerves kicked in right away

''Hey'' she said, trying to sound as normal as possible

He sensed something was wrong right away, she wasn't her usual bubbly self. No, her voice was toned with nerves, something was bothering her, judging by what he knew it wasn't work related, it was personal. He spent a year in college studying psychology, hence he was usually right when reading people.

''Hey-'' the sound of his voice made her calm down at least a bit, it was nice to hear a friendly tone while talking, too bad he was the one making her nervous in the first place ''-what's wrong?'' he shot right out. Once again he caught her unprepared.

''Nothing-'' her voice stammered ''-why would anything be wrong?''

She was panicking now, there definitely was something wrong. Possibly related to him, but he knew better than to push her, she would tell him when she was ready.

''You sound kind of distracted-'' there was a brief silence ''-anyhow that's not why I called-'' his voice turned it's normal cheerful self and she was relieved. The thing she loved most about Nate was the fact that he knew when to stop and give her her own space. She was grateful for having a friend like that

''-I have that stupid meeting tonight in L.A.-'' that's right, Nate isn't even going to be here tonight, she would be bored anyhow, she might as well get Serena of her back and go out with this guy ''-and the suit's great and all but-'' she'd always remember that suit-shopping day. Nate was as picky as herself which granted a lot of stores to go trough and a lot of changing rooms to have sex in. Now that she thought about it, maybe he was being picky purposely, he always was smarter than she gave him credit for. ''-I don't know which tie to wear, the black one or the cornflower blue?''

''I am ashamed you're even asking me this Nathanial, have I taught you nothing?-'' she teased ''-definitely the black one, who wears cornflower blue anything? So tacky''

He chuckled in a sweet kind of way he always did ''Black it is….I don't know what I'd do without you'' those exact words would have a much bigger impact later on.

''Hey Nate, I need to tell you something-'' come on Blair, it's the right thing to do, just tell him ''-good luck tonight'' she said and quickly hung up.

''Damn it'' she muttered her palm hitting her forehead continuously, she should have spilled it when she had a chance.

* * *

She ran the metal glazed brush trough her already silky hair once more, making sure it was flawless. She was quickly starting to lose her temper. Who the hell did this Marco guy think he was? Late now, for half an hour already…if anything he should've been waiting in front of her door for eight o'clock to strike, not make her wait.

Fifteen minutes later there finally was a knock on the door.

She went over to open, already ready to give him a silent/rude treatment but all of that faded away when she opened and faced that amazing smile.

''Before you beat me up, just know I was late because this freaking bouquet was too big to fit in a cab, I had to walk and got lost'' he joked, grinning all along

Blair smiled and rolled her eyes at his silly yet somewhat endearing explanation

''First of all I do not beat guys up, I don't know what Serena told you about me, second-'' she took the bouquet from him and smiled '-it is a pretty big bunch of flowers'' they were hydrangeas, not her favorite but still pretty.

''I'm Marco by the way-'' he said flashing her with his bright smile. Serena sure wasn't lying, he was pretty darn handsome. His hair was a bit longer, dark brown, lightly curled. His smile was indeed perfect, he had a nice bone structure and broad shoulders, his skin was somewhat darker and olive, she figured by his name and his tan his roots must be Italian.

''I'm Blair'' she said and couldn't help but smile back

Damn you Serena.

* * *

''You never told me what you do for a living'' she asked. This night was going so much better than she thought it would. Marco truly was a perfect gentleman. She was surprised Nate hadn't popped up in her head as much as she thought he would, she was having so much fun everything else was of her mind, including her so called ''lover''

''Well this will sound canny but I actually work in a children's hospital, St. Jude.''

Blair stopped biting on the piece of chocolate soufflé she already had in her mouth. Yeah he just got way more perfect.

There was no regret behind going on this date, it turned out amazing. It would be better though if that portion of guilt wasn't stuck in her throat. Like always, just as she thought about him he was thinking about her, obviously.

''I'm so sorry, I need to take this'' she excused herself and got away from the table to answer the phone, going out with a guy behind his back was one thing, but ignoring him and pretending he doesn't exist would just be too much. She still felt so bad for even doing this without telling him.

''Nate-'' she said smiling, she still didn't know why, that smile on her face appeared every time she said the name

''Hey'' he said , he sounded happy, his meeting must have gone well

''How did it go-?'' she asked ''-did you wow them?''

''Oh I don't know, I'll just let my 30 thousand worth deal speak for itself''

''30 thousand? Oh my God Nate, that's amazing!-'' she squealed ''- Epperly asked for 20 thousand, how in God's creation did you raise the deal for 30%?''

''That's just how I roll-'' he said and grinned ''-How's your night doing?'' she was so happy for a minute, as his friend of course, she was beyond proud of him, she always encouraged him to do more and give in effort, he finally did and he made it. Too bad the moment had to end, the second he mentioned her night, her stomach started churning.

''Oh….you know, I'm just hanging out with some friends'' she lied trough her teeth. It felt even worse than lying to Serena.

_I thought I was a fool for no one__  
__Oh baby I'm a fool for you__  
__You're the queen of the superficial__  
__And how long before you tell the truth?_

''Well great then….listen I have to go, they're calling me back'' he said in a rush

''Sure, call me when you land, will you?'' she decided then they would need to talk this trough

''Of course Blair, bye''

''Bye'' she whispered when he already hung up ''I'm sorry for hiding this from you''

''Hey, is everything okay?'' Marco asked her when she got back, she looked kind of down comparing to her earlier bubbly state.

''Yes, just got a call from a friend'' whom I have sex to, mind you.

''Well look Blair, I know we've only known each other for some short time, but this two hours I've spent with you've been far more pleasurable then all the time I've spent with any other girl-'' he took her hand in his ''-I'd like to see you again, what do you say?''

There she was, basically trapped. There were two options.

this amazing guy a chance, which maybe lead to something real.

one means the _friends with benefits_ deal she had with Nate is done

What will you do Blair?

Nate didn't care about her anyways, Marco on the other hand could be a real thing. Besides she had no feelings for Nate, except their friendship. She was certain of it at the time. Was she wrong? Who knows? No, no. She had to get any romantic related thoughts of her and Nate out of her head, he will only ever see her as a booty call….a fuck buddy. He made that clear. And she made it clear also.

_Oh baby dont you know I suffer?__  
__Oh baby can you hear me moan?__  
__You caught me under false pretenses__  
__How long before you let me go?  
__You set my soul alight__  
_

''Yeah-'' her voice stammered, the realization that she just ended whatever she had with Nate was slowly getting to her head. For an unknown reason to her, her heart felt heavy ''-I-I'd love that''

_Is she making a mistake trying it with Marco? We all know Nate doesn't like his candy taken away from him…_

_To be continued_

Hope you enjoyed it, review and tell me what you think :)


	10. The last night

Say what Laura? You updated this literally a day after the latest update? Oh yeah, I'm that awesome :D but seriously, see what lots of reviews does to me? I hope you like where this story is going, I have a lot in mind for it so I also just hope you'll be willing to read it. The inspiration for this one and a bunch of other Nair stories keeps coming so you won't get rid of me that soon ;)

I do not own any characters or songs used in this chapter, just the ideas are mine.

Song: All good things

* * *

''As I said on the phone-'' she started nervously, she knew the time for this would eventually come, but she never thought she would be the one doing the deed, she always imagined Nate finding someone else before her and 'politely' screwing her off. ''-we need to talk''

He immediately raised an eyebrow and scrunched up his face, she knew she shouldn't have started with 'we need to talk' that made it even worse

''Well that just doesn't sound like any good'' he said honestly

''No-no-'' her tongue started tying ''-I mean it's not awful, but it's not ideal, I mean-'' she out spoke herself. Nate came closer and grabbed her by her shoulders

''-Blair-'' he said calmly ''-stop freaking out and just tell me''

She took a deep breath and nodded

''Bare with me'' she pleaded silently while holding his hands. For an unknown reason it felt oddly natural….too natural. She pushed the thought of her mind and reminded herself once more that Nate was not boyfriend material. And why was she even mentioning words boyfriend and Nate in the same sentence? He only wanted you for your body, he won't be mad/disappointed when you tell him, after all look at him, you were lucky he even wanted to ….well use you as his ''play date''. She was sure he would be back on his track, surrounded with chicks by tonight.

''Spill it Waldorf'' he said smiling

''I-we-'' she rolled her eyes at her own stupidity, he was the only person capable of making her this distraught, she failed yet to decide whether it was a good thing or not. ''-I met someone while you were in L.A.-'' his mouth formed a slight 'O' shape, everything was clear, he nodded his head.

_Honestly what will become of me__  
__don't like reality__  
__It's way too clear to me__  
__But really life is dandy__  
__We are what we don't see__  
__Missed everything daydreaming_

_Flames to dust__  
__Lovers to friends__  
__Why do all good things come to an end__  
__Flames to dust__  
__Lovers to friends__  
__Why do all good things come to an end__  
__come to an end come to an__  
__Why do all good things come to end?_

His hands left hers right away. And it stung, it stung in her heart. It didn't matter she basically had a boyfriend now, even though she was in a relationship with another man, she still had some unresolved questions with Nate.

''I understand-'' he said as he shifted his gaze to his empty glass and ordered a new round of shots from the bartender ''-the deal is off, you don't have to worry'' he said like he had no cares in the world, it was casual like he was. Emotions mixed inside of her. One part of her was glad he made it easy on her and understood, the other part though, made her question if this ever really meant something to him.

The whole deal was no feelings, of course, but still…it was impossible to be that close to someone and then just decide to numb it down. Looks like it really was just fun and games for him.

And she was glad. Partially.

''Well it was fun while it lasted'' she said finally breaking a smile

''And we managed to make it work without ruining our friendship-'' he said gulping down his scotch

''-Yes-'' she said doing the same, that last shot made her dizzy; they already had so much to drink. It took a lot of liquor courage for her to come out to him, the buzzing atmosphere in the bar they were currently in, wasn't helping.

''Hey, let's get out of here'' she had to shout, the music was getting louder and louder

''Where to?'' he asked getting up himself

''Somewhere more silent'' she giggled and pulled him out by his hand

He stopped for a minute, causing her to turn around in surprise. ''I know just the place'' he said and continued to lead her with him.

* * *

''Where are we going?'' she asked for the umpteenth time

''Just a few more steps, I promise'' he said and continued to drag her along

''You said that five times already'' she whined

''That's cause you asked me five times'' he smiled to her and her heart fluttered, must be the alcohol (yeah right)

''Okay, close your eyes now'' he said and put his hands around her waist, guiding her

''Oh God, where are you taking me?'' she said suspiciously, but did what he ordered anyways

''Here we are, you can look now'' he whispered, he was standing behind her, his hands still around her petite form

She slowly opened her eyes and let her mouth stretch in an admirable frown

''Oh my gosh-'' she shook her head, observing the beauty of the place he brought her to. It was sort of a beach, a small abandoned beach with the clearest water she ever saw and the most amazing sunset. That alone and the fact that his hands were around her made it seem as if they were a couple….which they were not.

''How did I not know about this place'' she admired

''It's my favorite place aside from the Empire state building-'' he said and moved away, the contact of his skin against hers was missed ''-I come here every time I need silence…it's what you asked for, right?'' he smiled

''Yeah-'' she smiled back.

Some way down the road they started joking and teasing around, like they always did. The ''weird'' romantic mood was gone and it felt normal again.

''I don't remember vodka being so strong last week'' she said and giggled after, taking a long swig from the bottle they had with them

''You're such a light weight'' he said and nudged her with his shoulder

''I am not'' she stood up from the ground, putting the bottle away ''-look I can-I can still stand still'' she stammered and did all but stand still. Somehow she clumsily ended up falling in his lap

''See, you can't even stand'' he said, his lips dangerously close to hers, she couldn't help but wonder, would it be so so so wrong to taste those lips just one more time?

''Obviously, you can't either'' she said and run her nose along his.

He looked deep in to her eyes, she wouldn't let herself think it was longing, no it was desire. He was a wild animal she figured, a lion. She was a gazelle, left on his mercy…which he had none. He stalked her carefully, prepared, patiently. Deadly.

There was no time to be wasted, no words needed to be said. Their lips were once again fighting a war of dominance. She straddled his body entirely, wrapping her long tanned legs around him.

Her freshly acquainted boyfriend was thrown away on the ground just like Nate's clothes.

It was much tougher than the other times, much more raw. Maybe because it was their 'last time'. Maybe because it was cheating.

His fingers dug in the flesh of her tight, going higher, all while basically violating her mouth with his one. Her hands found their way in to his hair, pulling at his scalp, while his lips transferred to scaring her neck. Just a little something to remember him by, so when she's lying in the bed tomorrow with her boyfriend she would remember where she spent the last night and who she spent it with.

It was kind of cruel for him to do this to her, to make her suffer, but he was that way. Just because he was a good friend didn't mean he lost his bad boy temper. He would treat anyone this dirty, after this very night ( counting from the moment she told him she found another guy) she was no exception.

Not to get confused, Nate wasn't really bitter or mad or anything at all cause she found someone else. He knew it would happen…and it was fine. But he wasn't about to just let her leave without a goodbye ''kiss''

He entered her with full force and made her grasp for his shoulders in order to keep herself from falling apart. She moaned loudly, not being able to control her inner self.

''Nate-'' she moaned louder as he kept pounding in to her, each time more forceful than the other ''-oh yes….harder'' she pleaded as he intentionally slowed down his pace

''Only if you beg for it'' he whispered huskily in her ear

She leaned down and kissed him almost forcefully, then continued down his jaw line, just the way that turned him on, grinding against him in the process

''Please-'' she whispered against his skin ''-I beg you'' she pronounced and shoved her hands in his hair, pulling it all back and kissing him ''-fuck me hard''

He smiled and returned her eager kisses, plunging back in to her, way harder than before. Once again, who was he to say no to her?

They finally found a perfect pace, like they always did. Their moans and groans increasing with every forceful thrust.

''Fuck-'' he grunted, losing control over his own body. He couldn't help it. He tried so hard to keep it cool but the way her body moved over him…her dirty talk….the way she looked so hot right now, he wanted to just burry himself inside her and stay that way forever…it was all too much to handle

''-I'm so fucking close''

''Me too baby….come on'' she panted, already losing it. A few more thrusts and they were done.

He kept her in his arms, resting his forehead against her shoulder, panting heavily.

All that pent up sexual tension was gone now, just like their drunken state. Now all they were left with were the realization it was really over and guilt upon adultery.

All seemed alright now that they were in each other's embrace. But both of them knew they would have to pull apart anytime now. And what happens then?

* * *

There you go, it was a little shorter but it was written very quickly and you got smuttiness so I guess I can be forgiven :) for more faster updates like this one, don't forget to review. This is where the story gets interesting….


	11. You turned me in to a jealous kind

Hello my people. I'm glad you liked the last chapter and I hope you'll like this one too. I put a lot of effort in writing this, it takes some time but at the end of the day, I love doing it :) don't forget to review/favorite/follow.

Song: Jealousy

I do not own any characters or songs, just the ideas.

* * *

He wasn't even drunk any more, but he wished he was. His head was spinning so bad he just wanted to lie down on the ground and never get up again….and it wasn't even caused by alcohol. But instead of curling himself down on the ground he just quietly put his clothes back on, doing the same thing she did. In silence, mortifying silence.

Just last week they were bests of friends, going to a game together, laughing at the same things, pretending they weren't about to have sex when they come back to his apartment.

And now what? They'll start pretending again? Pretending it didn't just happen?

He sighed deeply as he finally made himself decent. He leaned against the cliff and stared at her quietly. She was muttering something under her breath, trying to separate the necklace stuck on her dress apart from it. She was a nervous wreck. This shouldn't have happened, he could see regret written all over her face. All he wanted to do was make her feel better and convince her that it was okay.

He walked over her and pulled her hands away. She looked up at him, her eyes watery. There was a track of hope that maybe; just maybe she was tearing up because this was ending. A bigger part of him realized it was because she just cheated on her boyfriend with him and felt sorry.

He remained quiet while he unhooked the piece of fabric from the chain it was stuck on.

''Nate-'' she said with shaky voice ''-this….this-'' gosh she was a mess

''-It's okay Blair. Don't-'' he said pulling a strand of her hair behind her ear ''-just don't'' he said, his voice sharp, hurt. He moved away and Blair felt a need to reach for him. Her hand ended up dropping in mid air. He was out of her reach.

He felt so lost, so empty inside right now. He couldn't comprehend why. For a moment he hated her. He hated her for making him feel this way. What was he feeling at all? Hurt? Anger? Regret? No, not the last one. He has never been so messed up in his entire life. Just few hours ago he was okay with everything. He was okay with her ''leaving'' him. He was okay with moving on (even though he had nothing to move on from, this was just a casual fling). He was okay with being just friends, he wanted that. But then they slept together and all of his feelings changed.

He wasn't okay with being just friends, he wasn't okay with moving on, he wasn't okay with her leaving him.

And then she decided to add fuel to the fire.

''I don't want to lose you. That was not a part of the deal'' her small voice said in the background

And he really didn't want to lose her either. But she was the one who pushed away first. He had to decide right now, either break her heart or break his own.

''You won't-'' he said sounding more cold that he intended to , he shook his head and turned around to face her, his voice softer this time ''- you'll never lose me. I'll always be your... friend'' he said almost bitterly.

For some reason, her body flinched at the word _friend_.

She nodded and offered him a fake smile, even though she was breaking inside. Why was he so cold with her again? He was never harsh with her like he was with other people. Was he punishing her? And what if she misunderstood his words. The word was you can't lose something you never had, what if she never had him?

She dared to step closer and put her arms around his shoulders, hugging him from behind. She knew he wouldn't retrieve to her, just like he didn't. He was trying to be tough and pretending like he doesn't care. She knew him better than that. And she knew that when he was the most quiet and most tough, he was hurting a lot.

So she just stayed put there, enjoying being this close to him for the possibly last time. She sensed him turning around and quickly wiped her tears so he wouldn't see it. She smiled and looked at him.

''I think it's time to go home now'' she whispered sadly. It was time to go home, each of them to their own home, alone. Leaving this place meant going back to reality where they were just friends, she had someone else and he was sleeping around.

''Blair-'' he said quietly looking at her watery eyes, he knew she was trying not to cry in front of him, he saw her wiping that tear away thinking he wouldn't see. ''- I really meant what I said. You won't lose me. And if anyone ever dares to do anything wrong to you-'' he pressed his forehead against her and smiled down ''-I will end them''

She smiled hearing his words and embraced him once more. This time his arms were around her too.

''That includes your new boyfriend'' he added annoyingly, only half joking. She laughed and ruffled his hair, pushing it back, it's the way she liked it most, she could see his beautiful eyes clear then.

''Behave yourself Archibald-'' she smiled. They headed towards the city ''-besides, he really is a great guy''

She saw him raise an eyebrow and laughed quietly to herself '' Let me be the one to judge that'' he said and grinned to her.

The rest of their walk home was quiet. They almost found themselves in that comfortable friendly kind of silence everyone wants. That is until she broke it.

''Nate, no one can find out about tonight'' she said, her voice serious. He nodded quietly

''I know. No one won't. Not from me'' he tried to convince her. Who would he blab anyway, Chuck?

''Thank you'' she whispered, slowly leading them in to another wave of relaxing silence.

* * *

''Oh God I'm so close-'' he grunted against her neck

''Yeah-'' she panted almost poorly ''-me too baby'' when in truth she wasn't even feeling it. Was this karma? Of course something wouldn't work, why would she have a normal relationship for once in her life? Impossible.

She got caught up in her own thoughts again and almost forgot she was supposed to be panting and scratching and orgasming or whatever…fake orgasming, mind you.

Marco was in all words perfect, nice, caring. He never forgot to bring her flowers. He was always there when she needed him. He would sit through with her during a Audrey Hepburn marathon.

Nate would never do that, no. He would get of the bed, grunt a bit of how all Hepburn movies were an unrealistic plot to create big expectations in minds of young girls watching them, and told her he was in the living room watching the game until she's ready to have sex.

What was wrong with her? Did she really want a guy like that instead of a sweet caring person like Marco? Yes she did. Deep inside she knew she wasn't supposed to be with him and she missed Nate dearly, not just in a sex kind of way. She missed her best friend.

They were still great friends and all, but now with a boyfriend she had less time to spend with him. She'd be lying if she said it didn't bother her where he was or who he was with, if he had someone new she wanted to know. As his best friend of course….yeah right.

And also, she missed the sex. Having intercourse with Marco was numbingly boring. After the ride of her life called Nathanial Archibald she was not ready to transfer to this almost pathetic ruffle.

It wasn't that it was that bad…it was just….so boring. The same effin thing every time. With Nate she got elevator, office, shower, handcuffs…freaking cliffs on the beach. It was hard to adjust to the bed thing, it was somewhat too comfortable and not at all arousing.

Marco was zero points to Nate. He had a great body but had no idea how to use it, she had to take control every time…it got annoying. Nate made her pant in no time just by staring at her.

If she pictured Nate panting over her right now it wouldn't be so wrong, would it…just once (although she did it far more than once)

It definitely helped. She got so into the character she almost made a fatal mistake

''Oh yeah Na-'' she stopped dead in her tracks, her mind going overdrive, she had no idea how to get herself out of this ''Marco'' she yelled quickly, hoping he bought it.

She gathered he was done when he pulled himself out and smiled satisfyingly. So he didn't notice she almost yelled out Nate, thanks God. It would put her in a lot of trouble since Marco already met Nate. Even better, he met him tonight. So Blair spent the whole evening with Nate, no wonder she was fantasizing about him, too bad she spent the whole evening with her boyfriend too, but had no sexual interest in him.

And after everything that's happened tonight, she still wanted that damn Archibald more.

Her mind immediately went to rethinkn tonight events.

_Nate sat quietly sipping his scotch, his evil smirk in place, listening to Marco's experience as a pediatrician. She could see him rolling his eyes while her boyfriend talked about the joy of seeing a kid smile and all the lollipops he had to give out. She knew Nate was judging him right now, and it didn't look too well for Marco. When he finally excused himself to take a call she eyed Nate, piercing him with her chocolate eyes._

''_Wow-'' he said sarcastically ''-who knew you were dating a librarian'' he said and smirked. She put on an insulted face right away _

''_He is not a librarian type of guy'' she defended herself_

''_Blair, probably the biggest highlight of his life is winning a game of chess, aren't' you bored? I don't think he's good enough for you'' he saw right through her. She refused to blush and went back to her poker face._

''_Stop it. Just because he doesn't ride a Harley and party all night long doesn't mean he's worthless'' she spat at him, still angry._

_He saw that she was really hurt and cursed himself quietly. He was out of line. Not towards the guy, he really was a bore and he already couldn't stand him. Blair didn't deserve his attitude and he was sorry._

_And then again, maybe he was just jealous._

_Life is much too short__  
__To while away with tears__  
__If only you could see just what you do to me__  
__Oh jealousy you tripped me up__  
__Jealousy you brought me down__  
__You bring me sorrow you cause me pain__  
__Jealousy when will you let go?__  
__Gotta hold of my possessive mind__  
__Turned me into a jealous kind_

_Right when he was about to apologize Marco returned. Blair stood up immediately and took a hold of Marco's hand. He looked at her surprised._

''_You know what, I think we're going now'' she said, her tone still hurt, but sharp. She didn't even glance at Nate_

''_Blair come on, you know I was-'' he started, not even caring about that asshole_

''_No actually Nate, I don't'' she cut him off ''Enjoy the rest of your night'' she said coldly and left the bar with Marco._

Damn him and his arrogant attitude to hell.

* * *

_To be continued_

* * *

I hope you liked jealous Nate, don't forget to review ;) xo L


	12. She's no longer your slave

I've been rewatching some Nair Gossip Girl episodes so I'm full of inspiration right now, get ready for a rockin' chapter ;) thank you for all of your reviews and keep them coming, I look forward to them. Also if you have any requests for future stories or one shots feel free to inbox me or leave a comment, I'd gladly accept a challenge.

I don't own any characters or songs used, just the ideas.

Song: Gloria

* * *

''Blair, I'll need you to take over some of Nate's stuff this week'' Epperly said and put a dozen of binders in front of her

Blair looked up in confusion ''What do you mean? Why can't Nate do it?''

''He didn't tell you? I thought you two were close-'' so did Blair ''- he's not coming back this week, he's taking some time off''

Blair nodded in silence and took the binders, pretending she wasn't upset. She hadn't talked to him for three days now. Ever since he pissed her off that night and she went home with Marco.

Except she didn't. She went home alone and made an excuse of being tired, she started doing it a lot lately. She spent the whole night crying for God knows what reason.

Nate called the first two days. She didn't answer. Then he just stopped calling. And now….now he wasn't even showing up to work.

* * *

''Nathanial, what's the cause of your sorrow? You've done nothing but sleep and soak your depression in brandy. And unfortunately brandy is not the name of a girl'' Chuck said seeing him first in the day. He was still in the same position he was when he saw him last night, sprawled on the lounge, drink in hand.

''Good evening to you too Chuck'' he said bitterly

Chuck gave him a look and shook his head; he was probably still drunk from last night…or the night before.

''Who ever she is, she's not worth it''

Nate closed his eyes for a moment. He opened they soon after, it was not doing its work. All he could see was her in the darkness. He wanted to get rid of her; he wanted to just see darkness. That's what all the alcohol was for.

Then Chuck's words reached his ears. Not worth it. Was she? Yes in a friend/support/quality kind of way. No in a _get drunk/fall in to a pit of self loathing and depression_ kind. She wasn't his anymore (although he never really had the right to claim her in the first place, he just liked being possessive) he has to deal with it.

_She's tired of problems that you caused her mind  
Tired of all those lies in your freak show  
Tired of being alone at night  
Being the lowest cat on earth_

___So Gloria steps out from the prison  
Gloria's no longer the wasted disco girl  
__You've been dreaming about  
Gloria, alone now forever  
Gloria, away in the air now  
Gloria, she's no longer your slave, no, no_

''There's no-there's no 'she' '' he slurred

''Mhm'' Chuck murmured, not at all convinced

Nate always had a problem of keeping his tongue behind his teeth when he was drunk, it was very evident right about now.

''Fine-'' he started, rubbing his temple, trying to release the head ache creeping trough his skull ''-there might be-'' he said but stopped ''-no,no….there was-'' he shook his head ''-maybe-'' Chuck couldn't help but chuckle at his friend's 'ability' to make sentences while drunk ''-okay, there was a 'she' but that 'she' is gone now-'' he laid it off his chest ''-for good''

''Dear Nathanial, you were with a sea of beautiful, amazing, perky, so on girls in your 25 years of existence, why so caught on that one? And don't even try to say you aren't, you're drowning yourself in a mixture of the finest opium, I'm surprised you can still talk-'' he looked over his ruffled presence ''-you haven't gone out of the Empire or slept around for days. She must be a hell of something''

''Well, there was something-'' Nate started, a bit unsure of whether it was a good idea to tell Chuck or not.

''Let me guess-'' he took a sip of his own drink ''-hmmm,what could keep the almighty Archibald so caught up on a girl like that-'' he then smirked and looked at Nate ''-mind-blowing sex?''

''Mind-blowing sex'' Nate repeated louder,his eyes widening ''Of course that's it'' he said, it seemed like a good revelation.

That must be it. He still refused to admit there were any feelings involved, and to be fair, the sex was mind-blowing, she was extraordinary.

Nate gritted his teeth together and put the glass down on the table. He didn't need to think any more of how perfect in everything she was, it became annoying…hurtful at last. He has never been so confused in days. It was like she held a posture over him. He has never felt this way in his life, never been so caught on to someone. She was supposed to be a meaningless fling, fun. Now she became the biggest 'mistake' in his life. Labeling her as a mistake sounded right, but it didn't feel like it. He knew she wasn't, but his drunken mind did.

He supposed he deserved it, being in this kind of state. From all the girls he made suffer, sweet talking them in to bed, all the promised calls he never returned, drinks he poured in to them. He was surprised God didn't punish him earlier.

* * *

''Blair, what's going on, you're kind of…distracted'' Marco said holding her hand. She smiled at him and stopped her musings

''Oh, sorry about that, it's nothing….I'm just tired from work and all-'' she lied trough her teeth. Well it wasn't that big of a lie, she was extremely tired, but it was not caused by her job, it was because of Nate. It's been a week since they last spoke. As Epperly told her he took some time off, she didn't know where he was, how he was doing, or what the hell was going on with him. It was driving her insane. She still refused to call him though. She wouldn't give him the pleasure. But something could easily happen to him and she would never forgive herself for being the cause of it.

''-I think I'm just going to go now'' she excused herself poorly and grabbed her coat

''Blair-'' he walked up behind her ''-this is the third time this week you're ''tired'', is there something wrong? Did I do something?''

She turned around while slapping on her coat ''No, don't worry, I'm just-''

''-if there was something, you would tell me about it, right?'' Marco said confused

''-Yes, of course. I'm sorry baby…I just need a night off, okay? I promise I'll call you'' she said and let him kiss her quickly before she went.

She intentionally took the longest route home. She was walking for some time now, staring at his name on her phone for the good part of it. To call or not to call? All she had to do was press the button.

She was home when she finally broke.

''Damn it'' she cursed silently and pressed her phone to her face.

No answer.

And who dare he think he was, not answering her call. He was lucky she even cared. Too bad he didn't feel the same. For all she knew he could be with two _fresh of the runway_ models right now, ''having the time of his life''.

* * *

''You need to forget about her Nate, there are other fishes in the sea, especially when you're wealthy and got quite the reputation you have'' Chuck commented

''My reputation? You mean everyone knowing I'm a heartbreaker-'' he said sarcastically ''- and a man whore, yeah quite a reputation''

''You're looking at it a whole lot wrong, you know how girls are, one of them tries it, in this case you….all of the other ones want to do it too'' he said and smirked, Nate didn't find it humorous, if anything it made him feel even more like a slut he knew he was.

Chuck got of the lounge and left the room to refill his scotch. He returned back to an empty suite.

* * *

''When did New York get so confusing'' he murmured silently, cruising the streets of New York, drunk as a sailor, trying to orientate himself in the direction of her building and failing.

Somehow he still remembered her address. He hailed a cab as he could and stumbled in, giving the directions to the driver.

Half an hour later he was a street away from her home. He knew where he was so he got out on the spot. Maybe some fresh air wouldn't be so bad. He would come to regret that decision moments after. For one he was only wearing a half-unbuttoned dress shirt and NY was freezing at this time of the night.

He sloppily took out his Experia from his pants pocket and hit speed dial. Three rings after, she picked up.

''Nate?'' she said, her voice sounded so scared….maybe she was with her boyfriend now and didn't want him to know who she was talking to. Anger ran trough him and he grabbed the phone harder.

Blair was about to hung up when she heard commotion on the other side of the line. The first thing she heard was his deep breathing.

''Are you with him right now?'' he slurred, he was probably drunk his ass off

''Why did you call me?'' she asked trying to sound angry, in all honesty she was relieved he was okay. Then again how okay was he really?

She heard him laugh bitterly ''Aren't we supposed to be friends-'' he said it with hate, like he was mocking their friendship ''-aren't I allowed to call you?'' he was practically yelling

''Nate-'' she raised her voice ''-what's going on-'' she debated whether to say the next thing or not ''-I'm worried about you''

''Why do you suddenly care?'' he said with equal bitterness as before

She sighed. _Because I do, I care about you _she said to herself ''You know what, you're right-'' she said, her voice still hurt ''-I don't'' she was a second away from hanging up, his low voice stopped her, and frightened her at least

''Don't-'' he said simply, she didn't understand whatever it meant ''don't just leave me Blair-'' it was the last thing he said to her before she heard a loud screeching of the tires and a hit.

* * *

_To be continued_

* * *

I know it's kind of short, but I didn't want to make you wait for the new chapter any longer :) since I still have a lot of stuff to do at least I can leave you with something good. The more you review, the faster I update xo L


	13. You're not worth crying for

Hey guys. I am sorry it took this ''long'' to update, I've been very busy, but to be honest there weren't that many reviews to make me write any faster ;) however here I am with a brand new chapter, like always I hope you'll like it. Honestly I'm not really impressed with my own writing skills but you know, if you like it I guess it's fine.

If you have any requests for a new story feel free to inbox me or leave a comment, I'll gladly answer to any of your questions.

I don't own any of the characters or songs listed; only the ideas are mine.

Song: There are worse things I could do

* * *

''Don't-'' he said simply, she didn't understand whatever it meant ''don't just leave me Blair-'' it was the last thing he said to her before she heard a loud screeching of the tires and a hit.

''Nate?-'' she asked in panic ''-Nate'' she shouted. There was no answer.

Everyone says time moves fast. Right then it moved agonizingly slow. She would always remember those 10 seconds that seemed like eternity. Her pupils have never been so wide, her hands never so shaky, her voice never so stuck in her throat. It seemed like her heart was racing against her chest, every beat almost tearing up her flesh. Liquid dropping from her eyes, she couldn't even be sure it was tears…in that very moment every inch of her body hurt so much that it might have been blood sliding down her cheeks.

She started shaking her head furiously as she heard some faint noise from the other side of the line, a little after the noise became clear, it was the sound of a car speeding away. It all sounded so real it was hard to believe it was over the phone.

It took her some time to realize the sound was so clear because it was coming from outside her apartment.

''Nate?-'' she asked once more, desperate to hear his voice. All she could hear was the line breaking. She furiously threw her phone at the nearest wall and rushed out of her apartment, her flats thumping loudly against the marble staircase.

Nate grabbed his head in pain, caused by the screeching of the goddamn tires. The cab stopped mere inches from him. It startled him to the measure of dropping his own phone. The cab driver started to curse loudly and ran over his Experia the moment Nate moved away.

''Son of a bitch'' he cursed after him. He kicked the remains of his so called phone and started looking around. Alcohol still held him strongly, if he hadn't been here for at least a thousand times before, he wouldn't know where the fuck he was. It was so dark outside, it was even drizzling. Fucking perfect.

It took him a while but he finally gathered himself up and realized he was in front of her building. He stumbled a couple of times getting inside but he managed it at last. He grabbed the knob of the building's entrance only to have someone crash right in to him in the process.

It wasn't just someone. It was her. Her eyes widened right away, and even his drunken mind wouldn't let him pass those tears, shining on her cheeks.

She had to check herself twice before summing that it really was him in front of her. Now instead of concern and panic, she felt relieved…and angry if anything.

''Blair-'' he said quietly. He was obviously painfully drunk, the only reason he called her in the first place. Why would she even think sober Nate would want anything but sex from her? He stepped towards her, his arms reaching for her. She pushed them away. Pain stroke over his face and she couldn't help but feel her heart crash.

''You son of a bitch-'' she yelled, tears running down her cheeks. She hated that, she hated all of it. Mostly the fact that she would never come more at him than a week little girl and a sex object. And here she was, worrying herself out about him, thinking he would do something to himself. She hasn't slept for a week, she jeopardized her relationship with a great guy for him. And what does he do in return? He gets his ass drunk and scares the shit out of her. ''-I thought you were dead'' she continued yelling and honestly scaring him a little

''Wha-what are you-'' he tried to make a valid sentence but his brain was failing him, all he knew was that he wanted her back. Too bad she obviously had a different idea.

''-What the hell do you want from me Nate?'' she whispered, breaking in to soft sobs. Her eyes were looking for answers

He was silently looking at her, like always he came out as an asshole, a coward. Now when she was clearly asking him to tell her what he really wants, he was too scared to do it.

''I-I-''

''-You what? No, actually don't tell me-'' she turned her back on him and headed inside ''-I don't care''

You could say something inside him broke. He doesn't know whether it was the adrenaline rush, the fear of losing her…the fear of losing himself even.

''I want you'' he said sharply, it stopped her right away. She turned around, disbelief on her face. She really didn't trust him anymore and it broke his heart.

He stepped closer so he was standing mere inches from her ''I said I want you Blair''

It was one of those times she wanted to push aside her brain and her morals and just listen to her heart, the one that made her want to kiss him right now and just tell him she wanted him too. But how could she do that when he wasn't even honest with himself, she knew better than to believe a guy who was currently running on a bottle of scotch.

''I heard you-'' she said coldly ''-and contrary to your beliefs you won't always get what you want Nathanial'' his eyes pierced her ones, she was on the verge, she knew she would break down any second so she wanted to solve this before she becomes a running mess ''-This is one of those times'' She said drily and turned her back on him.

_I could stay home every night,__  
__Wait around for Mr. Right.__  
__Take cold showers every day,__  
__And throw my life away,__  
__On a dream that won't come true._

_I could hurt someone like me,__  
__Out of spite or jealousy.__  
__I dont steal and I dont lie,__  
__But I can feel and I can cry.__  
__A fact I'll bet you never knew.__  
__But to cry in front of you,__  
__That's the worst thing I could do._

It would all end right there if he let her go, which he didn't.

His arm was quick to grab hers and trap her between his body and the nearest wall, kissing her with all he had; hoping her words and rejection would stop mattering.

His lips were fire against hers. It felt so good to have his arms on her, to feel that rush again. But life was a bitch and tomorrow morning he probably wouldn't even remember it so she can't let herself get too far.

Knowing it would be the last time he got to kiss her under her approval, she let it last for a moment. That moment as bitter-sweet as it was, had to end.

Her hands pushed violently against his chest as they separated.

He thought her words hurt like hell, that was until he felt the impact of her slap. She left him eventually, letting all of his disappointment, anger, frustration and sadness collide.

* * *

''I know we're besties, but it's 2 in the morning-'' Serena's voice hitched as she saw her friends dished appearance ''-What's wrong?'' she asked in concern, her sleepiness disappearing

'' I've done something really stupid'' she said trough her tears

* * *

''Blair he just kissed you and you pushed him away, it's not like cheating'' Serena said and handed her a hot cup of coffee ''He did just kiss you, right?''

Blair grimaced her face and took a long swig from the cup, the hot liquid soothing her throat

''Tonight he did'' she said and looked away; she knew she shouldn't be telling anyone, not even Serena. But it was done now….hell it was done two weeks ago. Serena's mouth went agape.

''Blair-'' she almost whined ''-what the hell…did you cheat on Marco?''

Blair's silence was enough for Serena to comprehend ''I can't believe you, he is such a nice guy….no not nice, great-'' she stood up and started pacing around

''-Serena'' she tried to stop her movements

''-and you go ahead and throw that away for what? A man whore? Watch out, he's a bad guy…woo-freaking-hoo'' she spat out sarcastically. Even though Blair was madly angry at him right now and agreed with the whore part, she still felt the need to stay on his side…only God knew why.

''He's not like that-'' she yelled, surprising Serena and honestly herself ''-I mean, God, he is, but….it was just not that way...I didn't cheat on my boyfriend...but I kind of did''

A very confused Serena took a seat next to her ''Blair, is there more to this story?''

She nodded quietly ''Yes…and Serena-'' she took a deep breath ''-if you tell anyone, I swear to God I will end you''

Serena rolled her eyes ''Come on Waldorf, it's me, I'd rather cut my arm off…even better, I'd give all my Louboutins away'' she said and cracked a smile. Blair had to give it to her, even after a hectic day like this, she still knew how to put a smile on her face.

''You know what, as long as I have you, I don't need anyone else'' Blair said and laid her head on Serena's lap

''Oh sweety, if it only were that simple-'' Serena said and stroked her hair, she knew she could make Blair spill the whole thing, she just had to play her tactically

''-I know…but we're stuck with men….ugh…why can't I have it easy just once in a life time''

''Because if it's easy it means it's not worth it…you wouldn't be trying if it wasn't important to you''

She thought about her words for a brief moment and her brain once again went to overdrive.

''And no matter how hard you try to pretend you don't care, you do. He is worth the trouble…even though no names were named in this conversation….you had that one person in mind.''

Blair wiped the last tear away, hoping it would vanish just like an image of a certain blue eyed boy.

''I have to tell you something''

''That I figured'' Serena said and got up ''More coffee?''

Blair followed her ''If by coffee you mean red wine then yes''

''You start speaking, I start pouring'' she held up a bottle of Merlot

''It all started with a job interview…''

Two bottles of wine and a box of ice-cream later she was almost done talking.

''And I slapped him and told him it's done for good….now I…I just don't know what's wrong with me. I mean a big part of me knows it's for the best, but there's still that part, that I wish didn't exist…it tugs my heart whenever I think of him…and that's most of the time''

''Blair…do you love him''

Blair's eyes widened at the question. She had never even thought of putting the words Nate and love in to the same context. For that matter she had yet failed to connect him with anything aside from sex and friendship. And she thought he was the one seeing her just as a sex object. But it was different with her, she figured, it was different because at least she saw him as her friend…he was full of it just to get what he wants, like he always does. She was not…she has never opened up to anyone like she opened up to him. He knew things not even Serena knew about her.

Saying he didn't mean anything to her would be lying to herself; you don't just open up to someone you see as a ''friend''. She got so scared for him today, the thought of losing him was unbearable. Did she feel strongly about him? She knew it…she just wasn't ready to admit.

She looked up at her friend '' I…I-''

* * *

What do you think, does she or doesn't…she made it clear she didn't want him tonight…I guess you'll just have to wait for the next chapter to find out ;) xo L


	14. Broken villain

Thank you for all of yiur reviews, they are highly appreciated and fun to read at. I hope you still like this story and you'll like my future ones :D but that's not on the repertoire yet, this story is just starting to hook up…so much more things are about to happen.

Also, in this chapter we get scheming, bad boy Nate back, I kind of missed him, had to make him come back ;)

I don't own any characters or songs used, just the ideas are mine.

* * *

''I…I-'' her voice was caught in her throat. She was dumb founded. It was like she knew this would eventually happen. She would pretend everything was okay and deny the existence of any potential feelings or needs she had.

There was the option of admitting she maybe did feel something more than just friendship, but what's the point of that? With the way he treated her and the way she treated him tonight, it was basically inevitable to cut off any further affection or even talking.

They were back at the start, only now she won't make the same mistake of letting it be any more than a business thing, they would politely talk about work when needed, pretend nothing happened…no, scratch that, pretend the last two months didn't happen. It would be awkward at first, that's for sure. With time they would both grow to be comfortable around each other again, how long will it take? Probably very very long. And when it happens neither of them will cross the fine line of privacy and anything outside the office; she wouldn't let herself….or him do so.

So what's the point in admitting feelings which, even if they exist, will be washed away in no time.

She was crushed. Blair Waldorf was crushed. Well if there's one thing she was determined to do, it was return the favor. Common courtesy they say, well in that case, Nate Archibald shall be crushed too.

''-no, I don't love him'' she said with such bitterness it would stop your cardio.

* * *

''Nathanial, I was thinking-'' Chuck's voice trailed away as he was greeted by a certain blond headed, barely dressed ''lady'' leaving Nate's room. Nate came out a moment after.

The blonde smiled sultry at Nate and held out a card ''Call me, right?'' she said, trying aimlessly to be sexy

Nate passed by her, not even sparing her a glance ''I doubt it'' he said coldly and closed the bathroom door after him, leaving the blonde on the verge of tears.

She was gone in a matter of seconds.

Nate took a second to stare at his mirror reflection. He looked just about the same as two months ago. His eyes almost blood shot from the alcohol he poured in to himself last night, trying to black himself out. Instead of that he ran in to a waitress, she was gullible and he is Nate Archibald, the rest is history. He was back to his old ways…and he couldn't see anything wrong with it.

Well, maybe just that empty feeling of being worthless he had inside.

He heard the clacking of heels along the hall and a smash of doors; it was a good enough sing he could go out now.

He dragged himself across the wooden floor in to the lounge, sitting across his friend who was going through the New Yorker. He raised his gaze from the paper for a minute to look at Nate and decided it was best not to force the talk. He did that yesterday and it ended up with Nate disappearing and returning at the end of dawn, obviously not alone.

''What? You're not going to congratulate me on getting back on track'' Nate said sarcastically

Chuck dropped the paper and draw in a deep breath, he alone was still recovering from losing a certain blonde. If only he knew his best friend was suffering because of the blonde's very best friend. It would all be hilarious if it weren't so tragic.

''I just don't know if it's safe to congratulate, with the tempo you're keeping up, by tonight you could be weeping again for that sex kitten of yours''

Nate smirked bitterly at the comment and shook his head ''No. That's dead and buried now, with no chance of resurrection'' and he meant it at the moment. Last night cleared his head if something. He realized thinking with your brain takes you further than listening to your heart.

Then again what heart? Besides the organ pumping his blood he didn't have one, it was ripped out and crushed some time ago.

''So are you saying you're back to being the cold blooded bad ass Nate Archibald? The one I actually like?'' Chuck asked raising his brow

''There's nothing to come back from, I was always here, just because my bark wasn't loud enough doesn't mean I didn't bite'' he concluded and smirked. It felt deliberating being a villain again.

There was just one thing he had to cross from his list before diving in entirely.

* * *

She knocked lightly on the huge glass doors and let herself in to Epperly's office

''Hey, I'm just dropping off the paper work you asked for, all of the forms are filled in'' she said proudly and put the pile on her table. She was grateful after all, for having so much work to do. It always helped her to bury herself in papyrology, it took her mind of all the problems she had, and right now she had a ton.

''You really are extraordinary, though, you can let yourself breathe now , Nate's coming back today anyways, so you won't have that much to do anymore. I'm grateful you two manage to do all of the tasks on time, I mean with all the clients we have it's a mess. Don't forget about that business trip to Spain in two weeks. I'm still not sure who'll they ask for but keep it in mind, okay?'' Blair stopped listening after the Nate's coming back bit.

It was what she dreaded the most. She practiced so many times in front of her mirror, of what she would say if he tried to apologize or make it happen again. She had to be tough and resist anything he had to offer. It was easy doing it with the mirror, she was afraid that when she saw him it would all fade away, like she knew it will.

''-Blair, are you even listening?'' Epperly said pissed off

''Yes, sorry, I haven't' gotten a lot of sleep or whatever-'' she forgot to be professional for a second ''-I'm so sorry, I didn't mean that, I mean the lack of sleep is obvious but-'' her tongue got tied ''-Nate is coming back, that's just….great'' her voice shook and revealed her insecurities

''-for god's sake calm down. As soon as I mention Nate you're all over the place. What, are you in love with him?'' Epperly said, not even realizing what an impact those words had on Blair

''No-'' she shot right out ''-I mean…just no. He's my coworker, that's it.'' She said, hoping she was convincing enough. The last thing she needed now was the whole benefits story coming out in the firm or to Epperly. She would both lose her job and her integrity, then she could really kill herself.

Her phone buzzed as she left Epperly's office. It was Marco. She felt relieved at last, ever since that night a few days ago, when she left him without explanation he wasn't returning her calls or texts, she thought it was over, which she didn't want. She lost enough things to Nate already, she wasn't about to lose her wonderful boyfriend. That blue eyed son of a bitch won't tame her.

''Marco'' she said hopefully

''Yeah, hi'' he said calmly ''-listen-''

''-I'm so sorry-'' she blurted out cutting him off ''-I know I was awful and I don't deserve you being so nice to me, I don't even know why you were with me in the first place, I'm awful. But I really want this to work…I want you'' she said in one breath

''It's okay. It's not over, of course it's not. Sorry for being such a weight on you this few days, I know I shouldn't have but…knowing how good you were with Nate and seeing you two communicate that other night when I met him…I don't know, there were literally sparks retrieving between you two, you could finish each other's sentences if you wanted to…it made me jealous'' Blair frowned at what he just said. So even her boyfriend was claiming her and Nate were ''meant to be''. Too bad she sunk that boat down. Besides Marco had nothing to be jealous about. Nate showed her his real colors. Marco wanted her entirely, Nate wanted her body. Case closed

''You have nothing to worry about with Nate-'' _although you should _''-that's done now-'' i_t's not really done_ ''-I can assure you, I want nothing to do with Nate'' _for now_

She finished the talk and beamed with happiness. She never thought she would be the one asking the guy for a second chance, but she did. And it felt so good to have him again. This time she wouldn't let anyone ruin it for her. Not even Nate man-whore Archibald.

_Then again, maybe she underestimated his power._

She walked out from an empty office and gotten back to who else than the one who shall not be named.

She dropped her binders on her table loudly, causing him to swivel around in his leather chair. Neither of them spoke a word. She refused to spare him a glance. Even that would be giving him too much attention…he craved for it, so she would torture back.

Nate gritted his teeth together, trying not to let his anger come over him. Why was he angry exactly? He wasn't sure. Maybe it was the fact that one Blair Waldorf dared to reject him; no one ever even thought of that.' No' wasn't in his vocabulary, it was a foreign word. 'Let it go' he tried to calm himself down, but it wasn't working. He always had a bad temper. And he had no mercy.

His new goal was to repay for all the goods Blair Waldorf has given him. And by goods he means betrayal, heart break, crushing his spirit. Now he was about to take it all back, even worse. Revenge is a dish best served cold, and he was about to ice her down.

Step one; make her trust him again.

''Blair-'' he said trying to sound as nice as possible ''-please talk to me'' he stood up and sat on her table, it was the only way to make her communicate to him.

She looked up from her papers and quickly averted her eyes to something else. It was painfully hard to look at him while he was so…goddamn hot. Her plan was to crush him down, with the way he was looking at her right now, the only thing she wanted crushing was her back against the office wall. She sensed blush coming to her cheeks and stood up immediately.

''Why would I want that?'' she said and started pacing around the room. He followed.

He would be lying if he said her ass didn't look alluring to him right now, especially in that tight dress of hers. He run his hands over his face and draw in a deep long breath. He can't let himself lose focus right now. He was here to bang her down, not _bang_ her.

''Because I was awful to you the other night-'' more like you were awful to me, heartless bitch ''-I was drunk and I said things I didn't mean. I'm in all honesty sorry'' he said and faked a pained expression, it always worked when he wanted pity

She finally let herself look at him. Her plan was not to even talk to him, to tame his spirit completely, but how could she do it when he was looking at her with those eyes….ugh. That's alright. Even better, why not play with the bastard a little, make him think everything is okay and then parade around with her boyfriend and poke at his jealous bone. Yes that sounds about right.

''It's okay-'' she said, pretending she was the better man ''-we're good'' she said drily

Nate had to smirk, it was an evil one of that. She returned the favor with a devilish smirk of hers.

Watch out, when two bombs like Nate and Blair start a war, and explosion is inevitable…

* * *

_To be continued_

* * *

I don't know about you, but I'm very satisfied with this chapter. I hope you are too. If you want more, don't forget to review xo L


	15. sHE beLIEveD

Hello :D so here's the deal. I know you guys want smut, but this isn't a completely smut story so just be patient. I'm sure you'll be satisfied with everything in the end (at least I hope so). This still is an M rated story, I just have to concentrate on the plot right now, it has to be something else than smut (which you will get eventually, right?) besides there's been like 6 chapters full of Nair smuttiness. Also some of you are afraid that Nate is going to hurt Blair, well she did hurt him first, he's just trying to get over it, but I'm getting ahead of myself. Hopefully you'll enjoy what I've prepared for you. Thank you for all of your great reviews, I really appreciate them& keep 'em coming! I won't mind ;)

I sacrificed some extra time to give you a big chapter because I'm not sure if I'll be able to update for a few days (don't worry, it's like 5 days, not two weeks :D). Also it depends on your reviews, like always.

I don't own any characters or songs used, just the ideas.

* * *

It was a perfect Monday morning in New York. The air was cold but the bright sunshine could fool anyone that it was a warm day.

She was sitting calmly at her work place, silently typing her paper…but not really. She was actually scheming her ways around Nate.

See,to anyone watching, it all seemed normal, like nothing has happened. They were work colleagues, friends even. Oh but no…they were so far from that.

The buzzing of her phone interrupted his thoughts and blew his mind away from his work. He tried not to cringe at the fake bubbly tone which she answered her phone with. He used to love that bubbly tone, he liked it when she was addressing him with that song like voice. Now however…

''Marco-'' she beamed, determined to shove her happy relationship right in his face ''-baby, so glad you called''

He had to use every ounce of self control not to roll the fuck out of his eyes at her right now. Instead he took a deep breath and returned back to his work. But who could concentrate on the price ratings and the company's money balance when she was spraying the office with her precious boyfriend.

She could see his face hardening, he was basically gritting his teeth and she smiled a little triumphant smile to herself. She wasn't even listening to Marco anymore; he was talking about some tv show or whatever. You would think after everything that's happened she would feel bad for using her boyfriend, but no. Not a prick of guilt was shed. Maybe she really was a cold hearted bitch like Serena liked to joke. Little did she know, Nate had the same thought.

Five more agonizingly sickening minutes later, she was finally done talking. She put her phone back and sighed happily.

''You won't mind me leaving a little early today, right?-'' he didn't even have a chance to answer ''-Marco is taking me to what he calls a super-date…oh he's such a sweetheart'' she said twirling a lock of hair with her finger

He clenched the pen he was holding and made it break down the middle

''No-'' he smiled bitterly ''-I won't mind'' he tried to come up with something to affect her back but he had nothing. She was getting to him…and that alone was nothing in comparison to what was about to happen

There was a loud knock on the door, a few moments after they flew open. Blair turned around and put on her ecstatic face.

''Honey'' she beamed and fled in to her boyfriends arms. It was little to say that Nate was about to explode. Once again, it took every ounce of self control not to get up right now and show Blair just how okay he was with the whole situation.

One bare look at the guy made him sick. He could not believe Blair-or for that matter, any girl- would fall for that guy. He was wearing a pink shirt with a blazer for god's sake. Not even Chuck would put that on. It was total opposite to Nate who wore worn out jeans and a black shirt which clung to his skin, at least he had something to show trough. Unlike Nate's sexy ruffled hair, his hair was put neatly, not a strand out of place. In their relationship, Marco was probably the one hogging the bathroom. A laugh escaped at his private joke and both Blair and Marco looked over to him.

It bothered Blair of how calm he seemed to her. She just wanted to get inside his head, know what he was thinking. She gave him a cold look, as if warning him not to play with her or try to under mind her boyfriend in any case. He just smirked and returned to his work.

''Well I'm going now-'' she said, trying to make him jealous but didn't actually know how, Marco just stood there awkwardly ''-don't wait up'' she said, hoping she struck a nerve. The sudden change in his posture told her she did. So finally satisfied she headed out after Marco.

Nate saw her leaving and forced himself to think of a comeback quickly, he wasn't about to let her gloat. Just because she was trying to make him jealous doesn't mean she succeeded. Well…she did, the thought of her spending the rest of the day and NIGHT with that slime made him sick to his stomach, but she didn't have to know that.

''You won't be missed'' he said bitterly and turned her gloating smile to a frown. She was already out but she could still imagine him smirking right now. She let out a frustrated sigh, disappointed her plan didn't quite work.

''Damn it'' she cursed quietly, she forgot she wasn't alone

''Excuse me?'' Marco said utterly confused. If there's one thing he learned from his relationship with Blair, it was that she changed her behavior as much as she changed her clothes…and that was every five minutes.

''Oh, nothing-'' she said kind of harsh, she shook her head slightly at her stupidity ''-I mean-'' her tone was calmer now, Marco did nothing to deserve that attitude, she was just used to being mean around everyone ''-I'm sorry, let's go'' she said and took his hand, smiling at him sweetly. He leaned over to kiss her cheek and Blair knew she made a right decision putting her past behind her.

Nate observed the whole thing from the office and felt his anger building up. He wished he knew how to strike her nerves but all he managed by now was to let her make him jealous, not the other way around. She was playing him like a fox and he knew it.

His thoughts were interrupted by a pair of insanely high heels clacking down the glossy floor.

''Blair-'' a female voice whined ''-Epperly told you like-'' the person stopped realizing there was no Blair around ''-whoops'' she said and giggled like a five year old. Nate finally raised his eyes to find out who the voice belonged to.

It was a slick blonde, little taller than Blair, her chest looked over pumped and she dressed like a streetwalker, not an employee at W, but then again most of the girls around there did. The blonde looked familiar but he couldn't remember her name.

''Umm…hello'' he said a bit confused

''Ooohh-'' the girl whined ''-Nate you're here-'' well she obviously knew who he was.

''Umm yeah'' he said awkwardly still trying hard to remember who she was.

''-Epperly sent me to ask Blair if she booked the tickets for the trip to Spain yet-'' he still looked confused ''-I'm Carly by the way'' she said and smiled flirtatious

Then he remembered. Carly. That's right. Blair hated her, he remembered Blair going on and on of how much she hates her and how annoying she was, she told him that when they were still….well talking, you know.

''Ooh Carly, yeah I remember you'' he said eyeing her. Then a marvelous idea came to his mind. He wanted a way to strike back at Blair…he found it.

''Listen-'' he got up and leaned on the table ''-Carly-'' he smirked ''-that is such a great name''

The blonde took a lock of her hair and started twirling it, giggling again ''Ahh, stop it-'' she said, obviously searching for compliments, yep Blair oughta hate her

''Look I can't tell you if Blair booked the flight-'' he came closer, the girl was already dazzed by the attention she was given ''-but I can take you out to drinks later'' he said and smiled seductively, he could already feel her wrapped around his little finger.

She smiled and rolled her eyes sarcastically ''I see nothing wrong with that-'' she put her arm on his shoulder and pretended to smooth out his shirt, in truth she just couldn't resist touching him. Nate decided to ignore her hand on him and continued to force the eye contact, it always hypnotizes girls. ''-I'll stop by your office when I'm done hottie'' she said and left

Nate had to grunt. He could see why Blair disliked her, she was freaking annoying. He just wanted to push her hands off of him and tell her to shut up, but right now he was the one who needed to stick it between his teeth and go through with this.

* * *

The sun was going down and she was getting tired. After all he took her to so many places she was barely standing now. Today's been perfect, just like she predicted. Marco was a gentle man like always. He took her to a stroll down the central park, lunch at her favorite restaurant, visit to the MoMA … which wasn't that pleasant, since all she could think about was running in to Nate a night before their tryst started. The Museum of Modern Art has sort of become their place; they went almost every week to a new exhibition when they were still friends. The last time she was there was with Nate, so when Marco asked her if she's ever been she just shook her head 'no' and pretended it was all new to her.

It was kind of stupid, now thinking of it, for her to pretend she's never been anywhere just because she used to go there all the time with him. It felt like she was trying to erase every memory she had with him. Which was absurd as it sounds because there were just too many.

''What do you want to do now?'' he asked her while they walked hand in hand down the 74th and Lex. That weird feeling of pressure returned to her stomach as they were going very near Nate's place.

''I should probably go back to work-'' she saw his face turn glum and felt bad immediately ''-I'm so sorry, but I have to take care of all this tickets for the business trip I have and-''

''Blair-'' he cut her off and kissed her forehead ''-It's okay, stop apologizing for everything.'' He smiled ''Besides I had you for almost a whole day, I can wait till tomorrow''

She gave him a quick peck ''You really are the world's greatest boyfriend'' she beamed as she called for a cab ''I'll call you tomorrow''

''Can't wait'' he said and waved her off.

* * *

It was already dark and the business hours were near end so she wasn't surprised when she stumbled upon a half empty company. All the lights were flickered off at her floor but the one in her office. The thought of Nate working that late was weird, considering it was a surprise to her if he even showed up in the morning, like he once said, he doesn't really do the whole _waking up at 7 am _thing. Maybe he was finally taking this seriously.

She entered the room and found him typing something seriously on his Mac. He didn't notice her coming in and kept on working. She had to admit he looked kind of sexy and adorable so concentrated and behind a pile of papers. She shook herself out of her thoughts; she can't allow herself to think of him anything more than a threat. After all he wasn't particularly cute the other night when he showed up at her building in 2 in the morning, drunk as a sailor.

''You're still working?'' she said and dazzed him out of his state. She put her purse down and sat on her leather chair.

''Someone has to'' he said, it came out arrogant but they both knew he was just teasing her. It became a habit that was hard to get rid of.

''How was your day with Mr. Perfect?'' he asked, she could sense jealousy in his voice and sighed content

''Perfect-'' she grinned ''-in all words, just like he is'' she gloated and returned that jealous fever pit back in to his stomach. It would've probably hit him harder if he wasn't about to show her not to mess with him. Just on cue, a certain blonde came in

''Oh-'' she said surprised to see Blair ''-I did not realize you'd come back''

Nate could already see Blair gritting her teeth ''This oughta be good'' he murmured to himself and got up''

''Well I am-'' she practically hissed, she could not stand the thought of that floozie ''-what do you need''

Nate decided right then and there angry and annoyed Blair was the best….and hottest thing he ever saw in his life. He couldn't wait to add fuel to that fire and make her burn. The only problem was, she was turning him on instead of repulsing him. The way she raised her eyebrow and hardened her expressions, she was so tense he swore if a needle would touch her, she would explode. Here comes the needle then…

''Actually I'm here for Nate'' she said and smiled seductively at him. Blair was out of her fucking mind.

If stares could kill, Carly and Nate would be dead and buried by now. At one point she looked like she might as well does kill both of them.

She was burning and Nate loveeeed to play with fire.

''Yeah-'' he said and stepped over to Carly, putting his hand around her waist. Blair was clutching the sides of the chair so hard the leather actually ripped under her nails. There were no words explaining her state right now. Pissed out of her fucking mind and mad jealous were the closest thing.

''-I'm taking her to that 'Victorious' place'' he said, knowing exactly she was done now. It felt almost harsh taking the new girl to Blair's favorite place in New York, but it also was fucking harsh doing what she did to him a few days ago.

Blair stood up immediately from her seat and fleeted pass them ''Really?-'' she almost yelled when passing Nate, she gave him a hurt look and went on ''-How convenient''

''I have no idea what you're talking about'' he said, raising his tone just like her, Carly just stood there awkwardly, having no idea what was going on around her

''Of course-'' she said, by this point closing herself in the nearest bathroom ''-you can't see what's in front of you'' she muttered and took her phone out

''Damn you'' she said when her boyfriend didn't answer. She decided she would go over anyhow.

''Umm is there something wrong?'' Carly asked Nate as Blair stormed out ''She looked pretty pissed to me''

Nate shrugged and shook his head ''She's just fine, she just likes drama-'' to be honest he was still surprised by her outburst, he expected her to get pissed but not to that measure, maybe he really did go too far this time. But what's done is done. There's no going back now. And even though there was a dull pain in his heart while doing so, he still left the building with the blonde.

* * *

Blair was about to knock on the door, but it was already late and maybe he was in fact asleep by now. Besides she had a spare key to Marco's apartment. She searched through her Prada and sighed when she finally felt the metal thing beneath her fingers.

She cautiously unlocked the door. The whole apartment was dark, so he in fact probably was sleeping. She put her purse on the counter and quietly as possible tiptoed to his room, champagne she had in hand with her. She could hear some commotion from the other side of the bedroom's door. He was most likely watching the tv then or something.

How wrong she was…

She fleeted the door open and had the champagne slip from her hands, the loud glass crushing in to million tiny pieces just like her heart at the sight ahead of her.

''Oh my God'' she whispered, her voice shaky as she was already tearing up

''Blair-'' Marco said pulling the covers over himself and the woman whom he was just a minute ago screwing.

* * *

_To be continued_

* * *

Oh yeah, that's right. Keep in mind that the more you review the faster you get the update. Till next chapter. Xo L


	16. We drown ourselves in liquor and tears

I know it's been quite a while since I last updated but it's exam season and I really have to study a lot right now, after all my school work comes first, so I'll possibly just be able to update once a week, my schedule is just too cramped up, sorry guys. But I am still determined to keep this page alive, and I'm not giving up my writing. In a month or so I get 10 days of vacation so I'll overdrive with writing when the time comes. Till' then this is the only way I manage to do it :) thanks for understanding.

I do not own any characters or songs used, just the ideas are mine.

Song: Say it right

* * *

You could easily say that if she had a list of most horrible things she had to go through, this was one of them. She could hear him coming after her. She wanted to shout, yell, hit him, make him feel double as awful as he was making her feel right now. But no. All she managed to do was sob silently as she made her way towards the door.

''Blair please-'' he grabbed her hand, Blair violently pushed it away

''Don't you dare talk to me'' she hissed and turned around

''Come on-'' he was desperate for her to look at him. Blair had the different idea; as far as she was concerned she never had to even glance at him. Ever.

''-I-I just'' he started but trailed away. They were already out in the cold New York air. To Blair, tonight it seemed more freezing than ever.

''You what?'' she yelled ''I trusted you. And to think I felt bad all of this time for working so long and-'' she shouted trying to express just how big of a fucking asshole he was

''-Exactly'' he said and cut her off. First of all, how dare he cut her off? How dare he raise his voice at her, after all of this. If Blair was in his place, she wouldn't dare to even look at-

And then she realized. She was in his place. She did the same thing, but let Nate convince her it wasn't cheating just because they've just started going out. But deep inside she knew it was. It felt like adultery and it was adultery.

Her voice toned down. Maybe she deserved it.

''You were always working-'' he stated, not even looking at her ''-you were never here. I was ready to give the world to you. I was ready to do anything. But no…it seems like all you had time for was Nate'' he said bitterly. Something broke inside of Blair. She wished all of it wasn't true, she wanted it so badly. But it was. He was right in every way and Blair can't help but feel like a failure.

She failed with Mike. She failed with Nate. She failed with Marco. And after all that's been happening these few last days, she will fail in her job.

She could easily blame Nate or Marco for it happening. She would be partially right. Nate broke her in every way there could be, and even though she thought that after everything. He wasn't lying he was still her friend, he proved her different. He told her in the beginning no one would get hurt. Which only proves…she was no one to him. The realization killed her inside.

_I can't say that I'm not lost and at fault__  
__I can't say that I don't love the light and the dark__  
__I can't say that I don't know that I am alive__  
__And all of what I feel I could show  
__You tonight you tonight_

_Oh you don't mean nothing at all to me  
__No you don't mean nothing at all to me_

_But you got what it takes to set me free  
__Oh you could mean everything to me_

And just as she thought she was about to get a second chance at happiness, at a normal relationship with a great guy….it turned out he wasn't that great at all. He was a twofaced monster.

At least she could relate to that, she was one of that too.

At the end of the day, who else to blame but herself?

''It's been killing me to know, and now that I know there's no chance of getting hurt by the outcome, I'll just ask-''

She knew what he wanted to know and it cut her inside. She wished there would be a sudden storm so she could run away. She wished there would be a natural disaster so she could hide.

Go ahead. Run, run and hide little girl. It's what you do best.

''Did you cheat on me with Nate?'' he asked cold and solid.

It took a few blinks and all the courage she could muster in the moment. She looked down at the cracked grey pavement, the one that resembled her soul, and spoke as quiet as the wind itself.

''Yes.'' She could go on about how it didn't mean anything, how it was a long time ago when she wasn't even sure what she wanted. She could say they were drunk and it was a mistake. But what's the point of that when half of it isn't even true.

''I knew it-'' he said and shook his head ''-great, you know? Now it all makes perfect sense''

She didn't want to speak. After all she had no right to grudge herself against him anyway.

''Well I guess-'' he gave her a mocking look ''-we're even now'' he said arrogantly and it didn't took long for Blair's palm to make a forceful contact with the side of his face.

''How dare you?''- she yelled, already humiliated ''-at least I felt guilty all the time about what happened. I stayed away from Nate and lost his friendship in advance and you make a mockery out of it? We're even now?'' she couldn't control herself. She was finally letting some of that rage out.

''You lost his friendship?-'' he said and laughed sarcastically ''-Guys like him don't make friends with girls like you. If anything it's obvious you were a toy for him. You know... I knew you were gullible but I never took you to be stupid''

That was it for Blair; another much more forceful slap came along.

''Don't you ever-'' she pushed him hard ''-ever dare-'' one more push. She was crying uncontrollably, showing her weak side again. ''-talk to me again'' she turned around and that was it.

* * *

She walked around New York for hours. She couldn't go home now. Going home would mean crying in the shower for some more hours and another restless night. This way at least she was walking. The cool air was freezing her blood. It gave her comfort, she just wanted to feel numb, she figured freezing herself to death and walking around until she couldn't stand was a way to do it for now.

She wanted so desperately to have someone to talk to. But what options did she have? Serena was in Europe for business, she probably wasn't even available. And Marco, well as far as she was concerned didn't exist anymore.

Then there was one person she truly wanted to talk to more than anyone. But that person already disappointed her so much she was afraid that one more push from him would destroy her inside-out. Still that mortifying thought didn't stop her from speed dialing him (how pathetic, she thought, she still didn't have the courage to removing him from that list).

She died more and more for every second she waited for his answer.

''Please-'' she pleaded, sobbing quietly''-don't turn your back on me now, I need you more than ever'' and she really did. At that exact moment she needed him like the oxygen she was breathing.

Then, after 24 agonizingly long seconds, the ringing stopped, someone was responding. Happiness exploded inside of her, all of her problems fleeted away. The fact that he really still was there for her warmed her broken heart.

But the overdriving happiness was too premature. She was left hanging. He literally hung up on her.

''Nate-'' she sobbed loudly and broke down crying. That gesture alone was like heart break, betrayal, a stab in her back and rejection all together.

* * *

''Sorry, the line was preoccupied. It took forever to get this'' Nate said as he set two drinks on the table''

''No worry. It wasn't that long.'' She said and smiled

''Oh shit, I forgot my phone on the table-'' he hissed all of a sudden and earned a scared expression from Carly ''-I'm sorry-'' his face softened ''-I was expecting a really important call from work today and I haven't left my phone from my sight-'' she nodded ''-have anyone called?'' he asked while he unlocked the screen, no missed calls.

She was quiet for a moment, still debating whether she should tell him or not. Then she remembered what a bitch Blair always was to her and not to mention the fact that she had gone out and probably slept with Mike that one night. She knew Carly was still in love with him even after their break up, but Blair did it anyway. So why should Carly feel bad for not telling Nate Blair has called and she hung up on her?

''No, no one called'' she said lightly and smiled, taking the cocktail he brought her and sipping lightly

''Great then. But enough about work, tell me something about you'' he said and started downing his vodka. To be honest her didn't give half a crap about Carly and her life. He just wanted her to talk, he knew girls like her don't stop talking once they start and they craved for attention. He wanted the spotlight off of him.

* * *

Hours later, his mind was still on Blair, like it was most of the time, but now he actually felt guilty. After all, tonight he realized he really did care about her, seeing her hurt like that broke his heart. But he could do nothing about that. She was probably with her precious boyfriend right now, doing….whatever they were doing.

He finished his fifth drink already, Blair's picture still in mind. Rage took over his body. All the feelings of guilt and sorry he felt earlier that night were downed along with scotch and whatever he took that night.

''So-'' Carly said and wrapped her hands around his arm ''-my apartment is just down the block. Wanna come?''

If it were any other night he would have politely shrugged her off and went home. But this wasn't just any night. He already had to witness Blair going all over that guy earlier in front of him. He instantly felt disgusted and had no doubts any more. It was decided.

''Sure'' he said coldly. She didn't seem to mind.

* * *

Yeah, sorry about the crappy chapter, but it's something :D don't forget to review, I'll do my best to update as quickly as I can, I promise.


	17. Hasta la vista, I guess

Hello my fellow Nair shippers, I really hope you're not mad I'm not updating my story as frequent as I used to (or as I wanted to) but I've already explained that lots of times. However, I'm not giving up on this and the inspiration keeps coming. Already have so many new stories planned out but this one is my priority, and there's still a lot I want to do with it. I hope it's not getting boring for you :p I really try and put a lot of effort in it. As per usual, my intro has to be a book for itself so yeah xD sorry bout that.

I do not own any characters or songs listed, only the ideas are mine.

Song: Locked out of heaven (a.k.a. the best freaking song evaaaar)

* * *

The sun peeked in and burned strongly and violent against the bare skin of his chest. His head was still in the worst possible place it could be after last night; these hangovers were starting to happen a lot more lately. Maybe he should rethink his life a bit.

And if the frequent drunken nights happening lately weren't enough to make him think about his recent life decisions (if you could even call them that, they were crap at last) then the wasted blonde figure laying buried in the cotton sheets next to him was.

He cursed silently a couple of times before he stood up, determined not to wake the blonde up, he just wanted to go away unnoticed and forget that last night, and for that matter last 5 months of his life ever happened.

He pulled on his clothes quickly, taking some time to collect all of his stuff that was spread all over the floor.

He has just pulled on his Vans slip-ons when he heard a grunt on the other side of the room.

''Nate-'' she asked confused as she supported herself on her elbows. She was trying to get used to the sun in the room and barely saw anything. ''-what are you doing?''

He just stood there, not actually sure whether to lie or to just cut her straight. He ran a hand trough his already ruffled hair and closed his eyes deeply for a moment. This was not the way he pictured his life to be. He wanted none of it. All the alcohol, the women, the money….they weren't worth all this emotional pain.

Too bad it took him this long to realize. Now he was in too deep. It seemed like there was no way out.

''Leaving'' he said drily. A look of pain stroked her face and her eyelids fluttered close, as if to try and hold in her tears. Nate knew the signs by now, he had gone through with this one too many time. He wished she could just shrug off and not care; it was how he did it anyway. But no, this girl like all the other thought this was something meaningful, that they had a connection or whatever crap girls read in Cosmo. He was the bare reality hitting them. He wasn't there for cuddling last night and he surely won't be there long enough for her to start mattering to him.

He made the mistake of getting involved not so long ago and everyone knows how it worked out.

''But I-'' she started desperately. He partially felt sorry and partially annoyed by her. This wasn't a Disney movie and he wasn't a prince. If she wanted that she shouldn't have slept with a guy who was drunk of his ass last night and suffering after the one that got away. He didn't know any better but she should've.

''Oh-'' strong disappointment was evident in her voice and Nate couldn't help but feel cheap and trashy. He has once again become someone's 'biggest mistake'. It was a title reserved for him. So what is he felt like a failure and empty inside. At least he still had his looks and his money.

It's a shame money can't buy you happiness. And as it turned out Blair was his epitome for mentioned. The sad thing was Blair will never be his again, and no, not in a soul mate kind of way; Nate didn't buy any of that crap. His feelings were so messed up. He missed her, but telling apart whether it was the loving way he missed her or the friendship way was impossible. Either way there was no going back now, so he could cross out happiness too.

He surely did love her. Not in a measure to tie him down and for him to spend the rest of his life with her thought. Or that was just what he tried to tell himself (his heart was telling him differently).

He didn't believe in love and he didn't believe in marriage. Blair on the other hand wanted a true love, a romantic story and a big white wedding with two kids following after.

The thought of something tying him down like that sent a feeling of pressure in his chest. He never even liked children; he can't see himself as a fatherly figure. Fatherhood and Nate Archibald can't go in the same line, they just can't.

Marriage on the other hand was just an excuse to have it all on paper and spend a load on money for the big wedding which usually gets as fake as it can be. It cages you and sets a limit. He never wanted that for himself. He wanted to be free to do whatever he wanted with whoever he wanted to. And if he couldn't even resist on cheating while two weeks in a new relationship, he can't imagine how long would it take him to crack if he ever put that ring on his finger.

The only commitment he was ever going to make was to himself and himself only. Sure, call him selfish, but at least he spares himself of suffer.

''I'm sorry-'' he said a little unease. It was incredibly awkward and he didn't know what to say. What was he supposed to say anyway…Sorry I used you last night but still you weren't as drunk as I was and you acted like a bimbo the whole time and it was inevitable, but now I've had mine and I'm sneaking out? Yeah, that would grant him a sharp pain in the nuttage and a slap.

''-No you're not'' she said angry and quickly pulled on her shirt over the underwear she was wearing. She got off the bed in a mad manner and refused to spare him a glance ''-Just get out'' she spat and shut the bathroom door loudly behind her

''Don't mind if I do'' he murmured to himself and got himself out.

He was walking aimlessly to the Empire, taking the longest route, he wasn't ready to go back home yet.

He dragged from his cigarette quickly, the nicotine soothing his nerves. He couldn't help but feel angst and be furious at himself. The insecurity he was feeling lately killed him. Whatever he was doing with his life had to change.

* * *

She awaked with a terrible head ache and sore throat. That's what you get for crying yourself to sleep, she supposed.

She lazily dragged herself out of her bed and came closer to the curtains guarding her from the killer sunlight. She unwillingly crooked a finger and allowed herself to peek through the curtains; biggest mistake ever.

She grunted loudly and picked up her fluffy white robe from the leather Barcelona chair and wrapped it tightly around herself.

Teddy sensed her movements and appeared from the corner, barking happily, trying to earn her attention.

She grabbed her head with both hands and committed to shushing him down a bit, all this sunlight and noise was too much for her tired fragile form.

''Shhh Teddy, please…give mommy some rest, okay'' she picked up a chew toy and threw it at the balcony, sending the dog there, hoping that he would like always, be too busy and engrossed with the loud outside New York offered and give her some time to calm down.

Her walk towards the kitchen counter was slow and lazy; she was not in a mood to do anything else today but stay in bed. It was Sunday after all, Sundays were supposed to be lazy.

The shiny black coffee maker obviously wasn't cooperating with the annoying dripping noise it was producing. If she wasn't in need of strong black coffee, she would've probably shut it down.

She caught a glance of her messed up appearance in the microwave reflection and shut her eyes close immediately. She looked even worse than she felt.

Her dragging continued down the hall to the bathroom. She really didn't need to look herself at the mirror right now, but what else could she do?

She flipped the water tap open and the loud sound of crashing water scared the absolute hell out of her. It was quickly put off as she gave up tidying herself.

The apartment was filled with the strong scent of black coffee and brought at least some comfort. She got so engrossed in watching the slick black liquid pour from the container to her cup, that she overfilled it and burned herself

''Son of a-'' she hissed so loudly it echoed through the apartment. Teddy was soon there, wiggling his tail and supporting his front paws against Blair to see what was happening.

''Teddy get down'' she scolded the dog and showed her hand under the tap, releasing some ice cold water on to her burned hand.

When the burned flesh started looking normal and less reddish again, she closed the water and got back to her coffee; this time more cautious.

She blew on the surface for a couple of minutes before finally taking a sip. The liquid was literally burning down her throat and it felt so good against the soreness.

She got bored quickly and felt a need to distract herself from the chaos that was her life. She needed her thoughts far away from N-

Fuck.

-far away from '_The one that shall not be named' _and the crappy reality her life was begging to turn in to.

So she grabbed the first magazine on her counter; Cosmo that is.

Just reading the article titles made her roll her eyes in the back of her skull.

'_Tough break up? Go trough it! 10 ways to win him back; Just friends? Why not Friends with Benefits?' _weren't really promising on the subject of forgetting a certain situation and a certain someone.

She flipped through the pages and grunted to most of them, that was until her eyes crossed a partially interesting article. She debated for some time whether to read this 'Power of ME'' shenanigan that was probably just some stupid psychic shit but she read it anyway.

''_Why let a pathetic someone ruin your karma for all eternity? After all we're born alone and we die alone. In the end it's all about us. Don't let someone crush your spirit by being a pathetic human cell they are, create a safe and calm environment- heartbreak free- and enjoy. Use the power of YOU'' _she read the article aloud and couldn't help but wrap her thought around it and overanalyze. This sounder right about like something Serena would say to her, and she really missed S and her advice right now. She wasn't that pathetic to take an advice from a chick-flick magazine, but there was some truth in there.

She finally pulled herself of the chair and returned back to her bathroom. The loud tap didn't scare her off this time, in fact she increased the pressure and splashed her porcelain skin.

It took her some time of washing, soaking, brushing out and prepping but she was finally done and looked as herself. She was just going through her closet, trying to find something drop-dead-gorgeous to wear when a black Pink Floyd shirt fell out from the top.

At first she wasn't even sure what it was, probably her sleeping shirt or something, it looked oversized.

But then she picked it up and realized it was Nate's shirt, Nate's Pink Floyd shirt she loved to wear around when she was in his apartment and forgot her clothes for the next day. She probably forgot to return it. It still smelled like him; Armani, somewhat minty and a tiny bit of smoke. She used to love that scent…now she just wanted to rip the shirt apart in tiny fiber pieces.

She was pissed at last; just a minute ago she was so sure she could put all of this behind her and move on, but the goddamn shirt shows up from nowhere and ruins it all. Just a further proof of how he was destined to put her down at all times, anywhere.

She dragged in a couple of deep breaths and showed the shirt back behind some boxes. The capital idea was to throw it away or burn it or something, but she didn't have the courage to do that, even though her mind said her goodbyes with Nate a loooong time ago, her heart poked through her chest. A silent but sharp pain reminding her of how helpless and locked out she really was when it came to Nate.

_Never had much faith in love or miracles__  
__Never wanna put my heart on the line.__  
__But swimming in your world is something spiritual__  
__I'm born again every time you spend the night__Cause your sex takes me to paradise__  
__Yeah your sex takes me to paradise__  
__And it shows, yeah, yeah, yeah_

___Cause you make feel like, I've been locked out of heaven__  
__For too long, for too long__  
__Yeah you make feel like, I've been locked out of heaven__  
__For too long, for too long_

_Oh oh oh oh, yeah, yeah, yeah__  
__Can I just stay here__  
__Spend the rest of my days here_

Finally calm and now with an outfit to wear, she checked herself in the mirror, basically admiring herself. She looked pretty amazing to say, even after a sleepless night of crying she still had it in her, and that knee length cream-red Marchesa dress brought out her good sides.

Her phone buzzed when she was fixing her hair, indicating a message. Her heart caught in her throat and disbelief took over as she re-read it, on and on….

_Hope your suitcase is somewhere around B, cause I'm sending you on location,  
I'm too preoccupied and have to be in Milano, so you're taking my place and going to the big conference in Spain…you won't be alone though, Nate's keeping you company._

_Xo, Epperly_

* * *

Tell me what you think :D the more reviews, the bigger the motivation! Till next update, xo Laura


	18. Action, reaction

Wow, thank you all for the amazing feedback, you guys are the best. I would have updated even quicker but my laptop battery died completely just like my charger so I had to wait till this Monday to replace it and wasn't able to write. However, I'm making up for it now. Hope you enjoy. (And sorry if the last couple of chapters were kind of boring, but they were essential for the story)

I do not own any characters or songs used, just the ideas are mine.

* * *

It took some time for her dizziness to subside. She took a big gulp of her Evian and grabbed her phone, furiously pressing Epperly's number.

''Hello-'' she said monotone, like she always was. Blair swore, that woman had no cares in the world

''-Epperly, what the hell do you mean by that?'' she yelled over the phone. Epperly rolled her eyes, only her employees could act like that; that's what you get for managing fashion industry in NY

''-Hello to you too-'' she said and left the conference room she was in ''-so nice you called'' she said sarcastically

''Epperly-'' Blair hissed frustrated ''-what's going on?''

''What ever do you mean?'' she asked back, utterly confused

''I mean the whole Spain thing, what the hell's up with that?'' she was still pretty pissed as you could tell

''Nothing's up with that, I can't go and you're replacing me. Nate had to go anyhow, but it happens to be that I need to go somewhere else at the time, what's the problem?'' she was getting angry, Blair was acting weird lately, the tracks of a hardworking professional Blair Waldorf she knew were almost gone

''I just-'' her voice traced away ''-I just can't'' she said simply and went through a period of silence

''Why?'' Epperly asked cautiously

Blair shut her eyes. She couldn't just tell her the real reason was Nate and their hook-up, it would grant both her and Nate getting fired.

''I just can't talk about it'' she said and rolled her eyes to herself, she realized it was the stupidest explanation ever and she was probably screwed

''Well if I fire you, will you be able to talk about it then?'' Epperly threatened. Blair's voice stuck in her throat as she fought to get some air out.

''Listen to me Blair, it's your job, not a freaking charade, either you go to Spain and do your work or you're fired, your choice'' Epperly said and hung up

''He-hello? Epperly?-'' no one answered ''-Damn it'' she cursed throwing her phone on her bed, she followed right after.

This was a nightmare. There were two choices:

Go to Spain and spend two days in hell with Nate

Lose her job

Both were utter crap.

Her parents would be so disappointed if they found out she lost her job, and where the hell would she get the money for her rent? She would have to move back in to her parents' house on the UES and come to peace with her destiny as a failure. No, that wasn't an option. She still had some dignity left.

* * *

''Why are you smiling so much Nathanial, you're creeping me out'' Chuck grunted peeking in to his room ''Whoa-'' his eyes widened as he saw half of Nate's closet out of its place

''Yeah I know, I probably should have told Maria to do it'' Nate said stuffing an unfolded shirt carelessly in to his bag. Yeah, he should've definitely asked the maid to do it.

''Well I could call her, but she has a day off'' Chuck commented

''No, let her be. I'll figure this suitcase stuff somehow'' he said skeptically picking the black case up, why the hell was there so many zippers?

''Why the commotion? Are you finally going to Antarctica?'' Chuck teased his friend. Ever since Nate was a little kid, he wanted to go and study penguins and their behavior; it was his dream to go there, 'till high school happened. Somehow with all the girls surrounding him and the popularity he found, that dream died down.

''Ha-ha-'' he fake laughed ''-very funny. Actually I'm going to Spain, I just got a text from my boss, apparentlysomeone else and I have to go to this big conferential meeting or something, she didn't say a lot, all I know is that I'm flying out in two hours'' he stuffed some more clothes in

''Someone else?'' Chuck said suspiciously

''Yeah, she didn't say who it was, probably herself or some of the junior partners'' he hoped it wasn't Carly, she left a bitter taste in his mouth, and not to mention… no, Blair was never on the international board anyways, there was no possible way she would be going. Plus, she kind of hates him…and hate was sugar-coating it.

''Well have fun then, at least one of us will'' he grunted and turned around

''Whoa, what's that all about?'' Nate went after him ''Don't tell me you're still suffering after that Serena chick''

''I…I don't know. I think-'' he took a big sip of his signature drink-scotch ''-I blew it''

''Chuck, if it was that special, you wouldn't have cheated on her, get over it'' he said and picked up his carry on

''I guess you're right…anyhow, when are you coming back?''

''I don't know man, it could be a day, it could be two weeks or more, she didn't say a thing''

* * *

''Can I bring you anything miss?'' the flight attendant asked her the minute she sat in her seat

''No, I'm fine for now, thanks'' she said and tried to smile. To hell with everything. At least she got to travel to Spain, right? the fact that N-

''Oh fuck'' she grunted quietly as she saw a muscular figure with ruffled blonde hair enter the first class. She actually wished he had gotten ugly somehow or got fat or something, anything to repulse her and make her resist him. But no. He was still the same handsome/fuckable/panty-dropping/chiseled motherfucker he was. Damn it.

''You know what-'' she said quietly and grabbed the flight attendant by her hand, startling the girl ''-I changed my mind, any kind of alcoholic beverage would do, like right now'' she said nervously and refused to look around to see him. Maybe he wouldn't even notice her.

''You've gotta be kidding me'' she heard him say and cursed quietly.

Nate had to check twice to be sure this was happening. And just like he thought, it was happening, karma was biting him back in the ass. He could recognize that mocha locks anywhere, they haunted him.

She turned around slightly to meet his glare with the one of her own, both of them visibly displeased by each other's presence.

He passed next to her, his scent hitting her like a tsunami. It sent shivers down her spine and turned her on in the weirdest way. What the hell was wrong with her? Putting aside the fact that he turned her on insanely just by passing her, she was incredibly annoyed by his presence. Her teeth gritted together, of course, his seat was placed barely 20 inches away from hers. This was going to be a long flight.

* * *

It was 10 minutes in to the flight and Nate had already rolled his eyes at her five times and Blair has downed two times more of those little vodka shots. Ignoring each other wasn't really working.

Okay. Just calm down Blair. Calm down. You can do this. Remember the whole _new me_ thing, forgetting the past and moving on? Yeah, that's still on. You just have to go through this 10 hour flight and not pay attention to who's sitting a seat from you. Don't think about his toned body, don't think about the way his hands seem rough but gentle at the same time and you just want them around yo...u and for God's sake, don't you dare think about his wonderful amazing blue eyes. It will destroy you, you will crack.

Nate had pretty much the same problem. For instance, what does he usually do with his hands? Cause right now he had no idea where to put them. He knew where he wanted to put them, but that was off the limits.

It was just her figure sitting so close to him that made him nervous. They haven't been so close to one another in months, ever since he kissed her in the foyer of her building.

Thinking about kissing her probably wasn't a good idea though.

At the same time he was annoyed. Why was this happening all over? He didn't need any of this. He didn't need her. He was ready to forget about her and everything that's happened and move on. But life doesn't work that way.

The tension around them was so built up, you could see the air moving.

It all self destructed when they both decided to move their arms on the arm rest and ended up bumping.

''Okay, what is your problem?'' she flickered

''My problem? You're the one sucking all the air away from here'' he hissed back, a few heads turned to look at their direction

''Oh really? Well, you didn't mind my _sucking_ a few months ago'' she said loudly, not even thinking about what she just spilled. Every single person in the plane directed their eyes at them, the place went silent.

Nate's eyes widened at first but soon he was overpowered by his laugh, and seeing him burst out laughing made her laugh too. Great, now everyone else on the plane knew they were screwing, too.

Soon the attention was off of them and their laughter died down. She put on her poker face immediately.

''Pervert'' she hissed and crossed her arms across her chest. She was still a bit dazzled by the way she could so easily fall into laughter with him. It was because his laughter was contagious. It all felt like the old times for a minute.

''I'm a perv? You're the one spraying the plane with your sex stories'' he made a remark. Wow, were they really talking? And not just talking, they were teasing each other; they only did that when they were friends. All of it happened so fast, he didn't even have the time to be annoyed anymore.

''Shut it Archibald-'' she hissed whispering ''-and to be exact, they're not just _my_ sex stories''

There was a quiet moment again. Both of them smiling mischievously, a lot on their mind.

''Just stay on your side and maybe you get off this plane alive, mkay?'' she said sighing and shoving her headphones on to her head

Nate raised his eyebrow and quietly sighed ''You always were the one to hog the sheets and cross the line, anyway''

* * *

_To be continued_

* * *

There you go, the Nair interaction is back, hope you enjoyed. Keep dropping me reviews, I love em! Xo L


	19. So young, so beautiful, so wasted

Hello :D thanks for putting up with my weird updating schedule :S I know, it gets frustrating. But I really try to make it as interesting and long as possible. Unfortunately I have a little imagination and inspiration right now so I apologize in advance if the following chapter sucks ;(

I do not own any characters or songs used, just the ideas.

* * *

Two hours already passed. Two whole hours. Eight more to go. Thinking of it now, it wasn't as terrible as he supposed it would be. He was indulged with his graphs and preparation for the big conference and she was indulged in the movie she watched on her ipad.

It was just about to end, with the girl and boy running to each other's arms. Him apologizing for everything he's done, her breaking down crying. It was a huge pile of stupidity. Just as they were about to kiss, she furiously pressed the x button and shut it off.

The sudden behavior change occurred to Nate. He switched his eyes to her, only to see her looking very angry, and somehow… sad. She looked as if she was about to cry. Her eyes were already glistening at the altar where her waterline meets her long thick lashes.

''Why'd you do that?'' he asked curious, still careful not to startle her. He knew she wasn't in the mood to talk, but he wasn't about to just let her spend the entirety of their trip on the verge of tears he knew he was partially responsible for (or how about completely responsible).

After all, no matter how mad at each other you get, you can't just forget all that time of friendship and how much they meant to each other. That kind of stuff doesn't just go away, unfortunately.

She shrugged and looked at him for a spare second.

''Why wouldn't I? I know how it ends, and pardon me, but I don't need any more happy couples shoving their relationships in my face'' she said quietly and started starring trough the window, refusing any kind of emotion to escape.

He was surprised to say at least. He expected her to push it away, make a snotty comment or just say nothing. An honest answer he got, and he was dumb founded. It was weird having her tell him all that stuff again.

And seeing her down like this brought a mix of emotions in to his system. Once again he couldn't keep his mouth shut and he just couldn't leave it alone.

''Why would you say that? At least you're in a happy relationship'' he said with bitterness in his voice, although he was somehow trying to make her feel better.

He would never forgive the look of hatred and complete misery she was giving him right now

''We broke up'' she said drily and had to swallow hard in order not to break down crying. She had no courage and hoped he wouldn't ask why, because she was already too desperate and ashamed of herself for letting someone fool her like that.

''What?'' was his first reaction. He didn't want to say it out loud, but he couldn't help it. No wonder she was so down. She broke up with her precious boyfriend. And the feeling of being sorry for her was gone. He was glad she was suffering now because he hated that guy and hated how much she hurt him because of Marco. If anything, she deserved to be miserable.

''Why?-'' he started sarcastically, practically mocking ''-trouble in heaven? Did he take too much time in the bathroom brushing his hair'' he rolled his eyes.

Then the unexpected happened. She looked at him, now fully crying, his heart stopped in sincerity

''He cheated on me'' she mouthed quietly and turn her head away quickly. She had no idea how she even managed to say it out loud. She stood up and hurried over to the bathroom.

''Oh God, Blair-'' he wanted to apologize right away. Once again he came off as a huge asshole he was. But his mind quickly reverted what she said, his fists clutching. He was as ready to kill that guy the first opportunity he had as ever.

How fucking dare he cheat on the most sincere, honest and beautiful person that probably ever existed… that son of a bitch knows he has it coming.

She closed the door forcefully after her, not even caring about all the other people. She wasn't surprised at the small suppressed room she found herself in. It was a typical airplane bathroom, maybe a little bigger (if you could call it that) since this was first class.

She took a pile of tissues that were located on the marble counter and pulled a bunch out, wiping her running mascara.

The cold water she splashed along her face a little later helped a lot. For one, her face didn't look so blemished after crying.

She was so stupid, she thought. All the traces of a once strong and emotionally stable person she was, were gone.

She hated crying in front of him, or anyone for that matter.

There was a knock on the door.

Nate, she figured. As much as she didn't want to see him right now, it was sweet to know he cared enough to check her up. Her plan was to simply open up and retrieve to her seat, telling him she was okay.

But that plan fell apart when she opened the door and found an unknown woman looking at her. Of course. Nate was where he was before she left.

How could she be that stupid and think he actually cared? She gritted her teeth together and politely moved away for the woman to enter. It was unbelievable, that Nate guy. Nothing with him was ever normal or permanent. One second he cares, he makes her laugh. The other one he makes her cry and acts like he doesn't care. Blair was sick of it.

She was sick of him, of his behavior and sick of the thought that she has to spend the next week with him.

She steadily moved back to her seat, careful not to touch him in the process.

As much as she wanted to keep it to herself and not look at him, she failed, she wouldn't be Blair if she didn't glance.

He was starring at her like a confused little puppy; it took a lot of sustaining not to break a smile. He was just too adorable, and she was weak at him, he was her blind spot. But still, she managed to keep her cold expression in place as her eyes retrieved to the window.

''Blair-'' he said quietly

''-don't talk to me'' she cut him off coldly. Nate would lie if he said her attitude towards him wasn't hurtful, she always treated him like an enemy. But if there was one thing he knew about Blair, it was her stubborn little ass, and that you never get it with her in just one try.

''Yeah, I don't really care if you don't wanna talk to me'' he was determined

''You don't care?-'' she finally turned around in an angry manner ''-that's a surprise''

''Yes, I usually don't care. And it's no surprise you're mad at me all the time, but I do care now'' he said in all honesty and waited for her response. She nodded and looked up at the ceiling.

''You know, trough out all this time you poured a load of crap in to me. And I actually bought it. Not this time Archibald.'' She said and grabbed the arm rest a little tighter, he was still making her feel more and more angry and frustrated by the minute. Now there was no way out, she couldn't just storm out.

''See, that right there'' he suddenly said loudly, it startled her, but if anything he had her attention back ''It's always me, right? Always my fault. Have you ever, for a second thought this may affect me? Or what, did you think I would be okay with you turning my life around and then leaving for a guy who wasn't a dead beat'' he said it all in one breath, and regretted all of it a second after. He couldn't believe he was telling her all of this, even worse, they weren't even alone.

Blair's breath caught in her throat, she has never put it that way. His words sunk hard in to her system. She couldn't figure whether to be mad at herself or him right now. She wanted nothing more than to go back to that night when it all started, never to rent that damn movie, take a walk with him, say bye and go to sleep alone. At least then she would have kept her best friend.

''Nate listen-'' she was about to make this right. It was about time this stupid charade stops. It could either end in a make-up or a total break-up. Which meant being friends again or ending all of this for good. She didn't know what to expect, she just knew it had to be done.

''-You know what Blair? –'' he said angry, giving her a glare ''-don't talk to me''

Yes it was hypocritical of him to act like that. But he knew how she was, damn it, he knew how _he _was. And she should've learned it by now too.

If he could go back to the night it all started, if he only knew she would put his world to a spin…he would change everything.

Thinking of it now, maybe he wouldn't go back to that exact day. No.

He would go back to the day she introduced Marco to him. He would've told her he had an awful feeling about that guy and try to convince her to stay away from him for good. Fight to preserve what they had, even though they didn't have much. But he didn't do it then and he can't go back in time now.

He was being selfish and had no idea how big of an impact she actually had on his life.

She sighed, her good will leaving her immediately. He was impossible, but so was she, though most of the time she wouldn't admit.

She had this weird feeling of guilt a lot lately, and it wouldn't go away. She just wanted to be normal again. Once upon a time, her biggest problem was her Cosmopolitan magazine coming in one hour too late. Now she was dealing with adultery and broken hearts. It wasn't as nearly ''worth going through, worth the pain'' as all the romantic movies she watched told her.

It was numbingly exhausting and taking her breath away, and by that, she wasn't being romantic or deep. She literally couldn't breathe sometimes.

This was one of them. His silence was suffocating. And she couldn't let herself die, not so young, not so... beautiful? Cliche, cliche.

As dramatic as it all sounded in her head, it was far more chaotic in real life. This is not how the movie she played in her head was supposed to be. By her standards, she should either be engaged to an amazing guy and successful at work or even be married. Not stuck on a wasted space with her once best friend whose heart she broke (even though he broke hers first).

''Stop being so frustrating all the time'' she hissed, not being able to hold it in any longer. It wasn't an angry hiss; it was an honest, going out of breath, cry for help hiss.

They only had a finite number of hours they would spend forcefully put together, they better use them right.

He glanced at her; she expected an angry expression or at least a glare. But what she got was far more destructive.

His eyes were telling her everything. If that saying that _eyes were the mirror of a person's soul_ was true, than his one was beautiful in full honesty.

Just like that night when her lips rushed and spoke about being more than friends, they betrayed her once again.

Her lips pressed suddenly against his ones, no impulse, no regret, no boundaries.

The moment was broken after what seemed like eternity of pure bliss mixed with confusion

''Blair-'' he spoke quietly, searching her eyes ''-I…-''

* * *

Ta dum! Hah, I know I'm a huge tease, but that's the way it is ;) don't forget to review xo L


	20. Check plus? Is it really?

As you can see I really am determined to update as fast as I can. Thank you for all your lovely reviews, and feel free to keep them coming, they really make me happy :) thanks so much guys, love ya all and sending my virtual Nair hugs to every single one of you xo

Here is a fun chapter for you, hope you like it ;)

I do not own any characters or songs used, just the ideas.

Song: Sexy silk

* * *

_Boy, I will be your sexy silk__  
Wrap me around round round round__  
I'll be your pussycat licking your milk__  
Right now down down down_

_Oh a kiss can last all night  
__You'll have to seduce me nibble and bite  
__But oh no no no_

_Woah woah__  
Go slow baby don't__  
__Ohhhhhhh__  
__I think I like you__  
_

This is what he meant by the term of them never being on solid ground, for instance one hour ago they basically weren't talking, five minutes ago they were fighting and now, well…

''I-'' he couldn't speak once again; he started the sentence five times already but didn't finish once. Was this really happening?

Her hands pulled tighter at his hair to bring him closer, half of her clothes already ripped off.

Yes, they were doing it again.

On a plane.

This day didn't make any sense, but life didn't either, so…

''Nate-'' she said between heated kissed ''-this is nothing'' she breathed out, he didn't understand a word she meant but continued kissing her

''I don't think we should do this then'' he said what needed to be said unwillingly. Maybe he wanted it to happen again, a part of him did, he wouldn't be pushing her against the bathroom stall right now if he didn't want her. Yet all of it was fucked up and who knows what's inside her head right now. If she intended to sleep with him now and then spend the rest of her life blaming him for using her, he would leave her right now.

''Fine-'' she said catching her breath ''-leave then'' she said straight ahead. He spent a moment looking in to her eyes, analyzing her. He may be pretty but he aint dumb and he knew she wanted him to stay, even though she was pushing him out.

He grabbed her arms and brought her closer, kissing feverishly ''No'' he spoke going down to her neck ''Not till we finish what we started''

Blair moaned from the bottom of her throat. God it felt amazing being treated like this again. She had enough of sweet talks and lame sex life, only to find out Marco was actually '_practicing' in his friend's apartment….or you know, his own_.

She didn't know whether it was the fact that they were supposed to be secret or just him that made her feel so hot, either way it was working.

She helped him finally take of his shirt and let her hands waver over his abs. It almost turned her on as him entirely.

So what if she felt like a slut or like she betrayed herself. She was having fun and finally getting what she wants. As far as she was concerned (and was sure he'd agree) this right now, never happened.

He wanted to tease her, make her sweat a bit, but he was far too gone for that. He was never patient enough and it always showed. Blair learned not to go too far with the waiting and teasing part or he'll get too pissed to do her either way.

The pressure against the tightness of his pants never seemed so strong so he let out a breath of relief as she pulled them down quickly, passing his manhood in the process.

Now that they were both discarded their armors (not that he cared too much) he was ready to fuck her brains out. It's been too long and he has exhausted himself with waiting.

So he took no more time to plunge in to her. the small space they were in was soon filled with moans groans and scratches. Luckily it was pretty late already, so hopefully most of the other people were sleeping…or not. He didn't really care.

In fact, his goal was to make her scream louder so someone would hear them, he didn't care the slightest but he knew she would go through hell of embarrassment since most of the people they were with, cooperated with her, which meant fun for him.

''Nate-'' she couldn't hold the scream in. she felt like he was torturing her on purpose, his every stroke stronger than the first one, sending her mad. She couldn't do better than to grind herself more against him and create deep wounds down his back.

Let him be, she would have enough time to make him pay for this later, after all, it was a long flight. A very very long flight.

He let his lips roam over the tender skin of her neck and bit lightly, making sure to leave a mark.

He pushed inside of her for about the 5th time when there was a knock on the door.

''Seriously-'' Blair breathed out, Nate didn't seem to budge, he was still pretty much inside of her ''-you've gotta be fucking kidding me''

To that Nate just smirked and lifted her from the sink suddenly, she squealed in his arms as he pushed her against the door, resulting with a loud numb impact on the steel.

''Sorry-'' Nate yelled to the annoying person who kept knocking ''-preoccupied'' he said grinning. Blair rolled her eyes and started placing kisses over his jaw line as he talked.

His hands came back to cupping her ass, while letting her devour his mouth. He missed that tingling feeling of wasted lips he always had after their numerous make out sessions.

''Hurry up, whoever you are'' someone grunted

''Shit-'' Blair hissed recognizing the voice ''that's my aaah-'' she moaned loudly, getting cut off by Nate's successful attempts to drive her crazy ''-supervisor-'' is all she managed to say before another powerful strut came in, she felt like she was about to lose it any second so she grabbed his shoulders tighter for support ''-he's supposed to-'' she could barely breathe, he was taking every single ounce of her energy away from her ''-review my work and send it to Epperly''

''I could help that review-'' he whispered huskily and pushed the hardest he had by now ''Flexibility-'' he set her legs apart even wider ''-check''

''-Resourcefulness-'' his hands wandered up and down her body ''check''

''-Oral performance-'' he smirked, kissing her deeply ''-mhmm check''

''Getting on with your coworkers-'' the room was filled with loud moaning since he achieved his goal, he increased the speed just a bit so he came undone a moment after ''check plus'' he breathed in to the skin of her neck.

He released her from his grip and zipped up his pants while she was adjusting her own clothes back on.

She was about to open the door but stopped, looking at him.

''This never happened-'' she said and looked at the ceiling slowly nodding her head ''-check plus''

Nate smirked as she did just what he was expecting her to do. Great…just great.

''What never happened?'' he said more to himself, but still agreeing with her terms, he knew exactly what this was and he didn't expect anything more.

He went ahead of her and gone out, almost smashing the door in to Blair's supervisor. Imagine the look on bastards face when he saw a dished Blair (in a half ripped dress) coming out of the steamy bathroom right after Nate (who missed a few buttons on his shirt, mind you).

''Miss Blair?-'' he asked, looking at her in horror ''-what happened with you?''

Blair started stuttering, caught red handed ''Well…I was just…ummm-''

''-She needed a little _pick me up-'' _Nate said, obviously teasing her purposely, that bastard just looooved torturing her ''-don't worry Mr. Sanders, I took care of it…if you know what I mean'' he said and winked, returning back to his seat.

Blair turned a bright crimson as Sanders eyed her verily. Oh Archibald, you are so dead…

* * *

Sorry it was short, but I decided to put it in two parts so you can get at least something on an early note :D besides it was smutty, so yeah. Hope you liked it. The other part should be up by the end of the week, how soon…it depends on you and me ;) xo L


	21. Husband material? Never

As promised, the update is here on time, thank you for all your lovely feedback, I enjoy reading your opinions, feel free to post more :) Also, glad you enjoyed the last chapter so much, I knew you'd like it.

I do not own any characters or songs, just the ideas.

* * *

''Just as I forgot how big of an asshole you can be, you proved me wrong'' she hissed hitting his arm as she returned back to her seat. Due to the fact that she's two times smaller than him, her hit probably didn't have an impact, but it was a matter of principal.

''Don't I always'' he said casually and leaned back in to his seat. How could he be that relaxed and careless all the time? Blair was still shaken from what happened about five minutes ago.

''I'm serious-'' she tried to keep a straight face, not that it mattered, he was looking everywhere but her anyways ''-this affects my job'' she explained herself

''Yeah, and since we're not really friends or…well anything to that, I don't care'' he said with an arrogant tone, playing with her nerves.

He knew just the ways to pull her strings and he wasn't sitting back. She felt like he enjoyed torturing her mentally with every fiber of his being. What else did she expect? She knew his stubborn ass would never change and that was set in stone. Too bad she couldn't keep her cool in like he could.

But he was iced only on the surface; god knows what may be boiling inside.

She was offended at last, by his words. She was supposed to be the one ignoring him. He was supposed to be the one craving her attention, not the other way around. Call it reverse psychology or whatever you want, it was working.

''Well, at least once you can say you're right-'' she pushed some hair back with her left hand, ''unpurposely'' touching his in the process. In all honesty she just wanted to feel his skin on hers once more. The tryst they have just gotten out of was as quick as it was and didn't offer a lot of closure, and she needed closure desperately. She had non with Marco and she definitely had none with Nate. At least not after that night he brought her to the abandoned beach. But the rule was broken after that, so it didn't really matter anymore ''-you can call yourself my coworker, and that's all we ever were and all we ever will be, okay?'' she said coldly

He didn't even turn in to look at her, he was starring outside. His shoulders shrugged lightly and that was the end of the discussion.

If only…

* * *

He couldn't wait to finally step outside and breath in some of that fresh air that was so different from the one New York offers you. You could actually see the sky up here; it wasn't masked and covered by humongous buildings.

Even though it was already around 9 'o clock in the evening, it was still hot outside and judging by the loud noise coming from the distance, the city was far away from sleeping.

There was already a car waiting for them, even though right now, he would rather take 2 hours of walking than spending 10 minutes in a car with Blair.

Why?

For one, he was, neatly and politely put, confused as fuck. He had no idea what have happened or why it happened? He had no expectations whatsoever because he didn't know what to expect. He didn't know what will happen or when it'll happen. He just needed some big time alone to think, some time away from her, but that wasn't the easiest task to do.

He knows some time away would be useful for both of them though. She needed to clear her head and God knows he needed to sort his own shit too.

He turned, just to look around and came across her glorious exit from the plane. And by glorious, he really meant glorious. Any other human being would look exhausted and no way in shape after a 10 hour long flight, but not her. The white flowy fabric from her dress waved after her, so she appeared to simply flow down. Her mocha curls were still shiny and bouncy as if she just curled them, getting playful with the wind. No matter what, she always smiled, but he knew that smile was used to hide all the sadness evident in her voice whenever she spoke lately. She was especially beautiful in the night time, her eyes always shone somewhat brighter than anyone elses. Any maybe it was all just a picture in his head, maybe he wanted to remember her like that and forget the damaged person beneath this godlike façade, the one he helped in making.

Automatically her horizon expanded to what's around him, her eyes making a clear connection with his ones right away. It was a moment of profound peace between the two strands in war, sapphire blue meeting chocolate, melting right in to it, wishing it could stay there.

''Good evening-'' their respectful stares were broken off by a tall man in a suite ''- I'm Pablo, I'll be your driver for tonight'' he said with a bit of a Spanish accent evident.

They both greeted the man as some other people took away their stuff and arranged it in the other following car, their one was a limo.

The driver gestured to the car, first looking at Blair - as the old school rule said 'Ladies first'  
''Miss Archibald'' the man said accidentally, not knowing them.

Both of them stopped for a moment, frozen by the words. Nate looked at her and she looked back, both of them with million thoughts running through their heads.

''It's Waldorf-'' she corrected the guy and smiled. He smiled back apologetically ''Oh, I'm sorry, honest mistake'' he said as all of them decided to pretend it never happened, some of them more than the others.

As they were seated (an empty seat acting as a line between them) none of them dared to say a word.

All that was on Nate's mind was the fact of how wrong it was that Blair Archibald sounds so….so right.

Blair couldn't help but have the two words stuck in her head like a curse. Blair Archibald. Blair Archibald. As in Blair, the wife of Nathanial Archibald.

It even sounds stupid put together in a sentence. Or does it really? Maybe it actually sounds too good for her to admit.

But no, that can't be the case, because if you cancel her out, this was Nate. He wasn't capable of being in a normal relationship that would last for more than a month (if even that). He 's not actually husband material. She didn't know why but she could actually picture it in her head right now.

What would it be like? Sure he could be all loving and sweet when he wanted to, she had a chance to meet that guy, to see the other side of him she was sure not a lot of people saw. But would he stay like that for a long time? Probably...no cancel that, most definitely not. Yes she had a chance to see his wonderful side, but she also had a lot more chances to see his bad side, and it's not something she thinks she's capable of coping with, not every day, not for the rest of her life.

Screw that, not till their divorce. It would only be a matter of time for him to start screwing around, guys like that can't change, not that drastically.

And marriage brings kids in to the picture; that was another frightening thought. She never even saw him with a kid, probably because he hated them, or so she assumed. It would all be too painful for both of them…maybe not so much for him, but for her it would be death.

She already learned she _could _be in love with him, what if she fell deeply and desperately in love like she knew she would, she was a hardcore and passionate lover, she would only marry if completely head over heels crazy for the other person.

All put together shortly, it was not an option. Blair Waldorf would never ever become Blair Archibald. And that's okay. There are plenty of other last names waiting for her, the ones that could actually commit and be worthy of her. The ones she could follow up to.

Suddenly the vehicle stopped. She forgot she was even moving, Nate was already out of the car by the time she noticed. Of course, always one step ahead of her, she could never catch up…he was never there.

But then again…

The door flung open and a hand was offered for her to take, not just anyone's hand.

Her eyes got that shimmer back as she looked back and forth between his ones and his hand. He felt like a pair of wings appeared on his muscular back as her soft palm pressed against his one.

''Thank you'' she breathed out quietly. And there she thought he was never there…maybe he was just trying to clear the rode up for her. Maybe, who knows.

Or there could be the fact that he just wanted to redeem for earlier today, you know, so there were no ransoms to be paid.

He maybe hallucinating but he swears he saw a smile. Whatever it was, it sent an unusual feeling of warmth trough his system. Something weird was happening to him and he had no idea what it was. And when was he not clueless of what was happening?

Those couple minutes of silence only helped him overanalyze the small gaffe that happened before entering the car and how insane it would be to have a woman sharing his last name.

He has never met the one to come as close to even think about it.

That's another disadvantage of being as clueless as he was. You could be holding _the one's_ hand in yours and you still couldn't see it. Just make sure to hold her tight enough or she might fly away...

* * *

Hope you enjoyed, drop me a review if you will, till next time xo L


	22. It's always darkest before the dawn

Hello, yes I know it took a while to update, I apologize. But I'm here now with a brand new chapter and much more free time so I hope I'll be able to write as much as possible. Hope you'll like it! Drop me a review if you will :)

I do not own any characters or songs, just the ideas.

Song: Shake it out

* * *

She had dropped her belongings the minute she stepped in, so tired that she had completely forgotten to look around and admire the amazing room she was placed in. The sheets were so soft and silky she was sure she'll fall asleep in no time, almost as if she was home. At least in her dreams her life would seem a little lesser messed up than it actually was.

She sighed deeply and stretched herself out. She would have to change in to something more comfortable, the white flowy Marchesa dress was definitely not made for sleeping.

A vibrating sound filled the room indicating an incoming call. She grunted having to get up and actually get the phone, even that was too exhausting.

Seeing the caller brought a smile on her face though.

''Serena? Finally'' she said tired but happy, it was about time she spoke to S, trying to balance out their respective jobs and remaining a friendship got hard somehow.

''Blair-'' the blonde squealed ''-God, it's so good to hear your voice...what's the matter, you sound sad'' her friend noticed right away.

Blair took in a deep breath, examining herself in the big clear mirror she faced. It was true, she felt incredibly saddened…confused….tired of everything, mentally. She could never really fool Serena, she knew something was wrong right away.

''No I don't'' she said poorly, she didn't even sound convincing to herself.

''What's wrong, don't tell me it's the trip, you handle flights better than anyone I know, there's something to it-'' there was a brief silence ''-did Nate do something?'' her friend asked in all seriousness not even aware of how right she was.

Blair felt a dull ache in her chest every time his name was mentioned. It has been that way ever since their first encounter and she doesn't know why.

''Serena, Nate and I aren't together'' she said blankly

Serena remained quiet for a while. It was a calm conversation, or so it seemed because to Blair it brought none calmness at all.

''You're not?'' she asked kind of disappointed. She would never really admit to Blair, but she always secretly rooted for them. She thought he was just what she needed, true she didn't like him at all in the beginning, she was rooting for Blair and Marco or as she called them- Blarco, but now that she's seen what kind of an asshole that….asshole really was….she was team Nair all the way. However, she knew Blair would just get angry and call her childish for saying that. Thus she remained quiet.

''Why would you think we were?''

''It's just….I just thought since you and Marco broke up and you guys were pretty close-''

''-we were not-'' Blair cut her off. Things were slipping out of her hands so quickly she couldn't recover, she just needed control back in her grasp before leading anyone else in to this. ''-listen, we're just co workers, nothing else'' she said, once again sounding fake. It didn't even make sense to her.

Serena had to roll her eyes. Same old oblivious Blair.

''Fine. Well at least you can enjoy Barcelona'' she said on a more cheerful note, she hated having her bestie so depressed. She was young, beautiful, youthful and smart; she shouldn't be wasting the best years of her life crying over guys… Serena learned the hard way, at least she could give some knowledge back to Blair.

''Don't forget to have fun B, okay? I don't want you suffering over nothing. Whatever it is or whoever it is…it's not worth it''

And Blair really wished it wasn't.

* * *

It seems like this frustration is taking over his life. He just couldn't do it anymore. He felt like he was stuck in some kind of a stupid romantic movie which ends in a cliché. He was supposed to be having the time of his life right now. He was in Europe for god's sake, if it was Chuck, he would have already banged the flight attendant and that cute gullible girl on the check in desk. And so would Nate…..about half a year ago.

And what progress did he make? He was spread over his hotel room bed, suffering after a fucking girl who's obviously playing with him. Why else would she pull all of this crap on him?

He even tried being nice with her (a thing he never did around girls…or anyone for that matter) and what does she do? She decides to completely ignore him. Well let it be. He could be an asshole too.

He took his phone out of his back pocket and went through the messages. Most of them were by different girls who thought they had a chance with him, booty calls and so; those were the messages he decided to ignore because he was trying hard to make it with Blair. Mistake.

There was an unopened one from Chuck.

_-Seriously Nate, control your fans, already three from the blonde canister one dropped by looking for you. One of them I took care of ;)_

He laughed reading the message. So much for the panty dropped talk.

_-You're so generous. Too bad you're not over here, I need a wingman tonight…_

_-You have got to be kidding me, do I see wrong or are you back in the game? No longer openly weeping after that brunette one? It was about time._

_-So I think._

And he really did.

* * *

She made sure to look perfect before heading out. She wasn't aiming to impress anyone (yeah right) but she still had to look glamorous, even if she's just taking a stroll.

She took Serena's advice and decided to get herself out of her room and her blue. She needed fresh air, people and just something casual (aside from sex, khm).

As she exited the building all eyes fell upon her, even if it was dark outside, she could feel numerous pairs of eyes digging in to her with desire and couldn't suppress the feeling of satisfaction. She just had a need to feel wanted, like everyone else. But due to her perfectionism it was hard to understand that she was just a human being among the crowds.

The warm air soothed her complexion; it was such a nice change from the city where it was piercing cold all the time. It was about two hours of her Louboutins clacking on the asphalt when she started to feel a little tired on the legs.

Almost getting lost on her way back was none of her plan, just like the next thing about to happen wasn't.

She let out a breath of relief finally seeing the local bar she knew was very close to her hotel. She continued back, already barely standing, she should have taken the shorter route.

She has thought a lot during this time alone. Mostly Nate, since he occupied 98% of her brain lately. She thought about their very start, the way he used to make her laugh, those cute dimples he got when he smiled to her, how he was always very rough but incredibly gentle when handling her. God, she missed him so much. And basically, just a few hours ago, they were intimate again…it was something she couldn't neglect. Thinking of it now, it was a mistake ignoring him, she should have known better than to push him away. But she could make it right, if he was so willing to make something with her…whatever it was, maybe, just maybe all hopes weren't gone. She wished they could start from scratch and make everything right again…she craved it. The only thing she wanted was to feel good again, and hating to admit…he was the one who made her feel more alive than anyone.

She was so indulged in her own thoughts she ended up crushing in to a waitress that was just heading inside the bar she was passing by.

''Ahh perdona me'' the waitress apologized to the mislead Blair. Blair nodded her head a smiled lightly, indicating it was fine.

''It's okay-'' her voice trailed away, her pink lips forming a frown

''Oh, American-'' the waitress stopped seeing Blair was staring at something behind the girl. ''-You okay?''

Lost of words….disbelief….utter heartbreak. She felt every inch of her body ache with a burning feel. Her mouth went dry, oppose to her eyes which were already collecting heavy teardrops.

Blair's lips trembled as the girl broke her view.

''Why?'' she just spoke quietly and turned on her heels, rushing to her room, completely crushed.

* * *

Nate moved away from the girl in order to take a breath. He doesn't clearly remember how he got to the point of kissing her, but it happened. That's just how it goes if you're Nate Archibald.

''My room is just across the street'' the blonde- Kaitlyn- said. She was one of the social partners in their firm, she was too here for the conference.

Okay this is your chance…why did it seem so hard all of a sudden? He had a strange numb pain in his chest area this whole night, for the first time in his life, it felt wrong to sleep around. But he was here to forget and she was here to help him forget.

He nodded blankly, letting her guide him away from the bar…

* * *

Blair closed the door loudly and locked it, throwing her belongings on to the club chair near.

She quietly sat on her bed breathing hard. Then the sobs came in, it felt like choking….fighting for life. She felt like every ounce of water was drenched from her body, yet there was more to come.

She angrily stripped her clothes down. She rushed to her suitcase in order to find something to wear that would sooth her at least one bit, but the zipper was stuck. It felt like everything was wrong again, her world was crushing down…just as she was afraid, she couldn't stop it from slipping away.

_Regrets collect like old friends__  
__Here to relive your darkest moments__  
__I can see no way, I can see no way__  
__And all of the ghouls come out to play__  
__And every demon wants his pound of flesh__  
__But I like to keep some things to myself__  
__I like to keep my issues drawn__  
__It's always darkest before the dawn_

_And I've been a fool and I've been blind__  
__I can never leave the past behind__  
__I can see no way, I can see no way__  
__I'm always dragging that horse around__  
__And our love is pastured such a mournful sound__  
__Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground__  
__So I like to keep my issues drawn__  
__But it's always darkest before the dawn_

She slid down on to the floor and curled up, trying to stop herself from doing any harm. It was the moment she realized…it all made more sense now.

Longing looks. Hooking up. Forgetting everything he ever did her wrong in an instant. The over realistic pain cruising through her system she felt tonight as she saw him kissing another girl. The heartache.

She loved him.

* * *

There you go. Your reviews are loved, till next update xo L


	23. Morning confessions

I know the last chapter was kind of sad, but life's not all smiles and happiness ;( but on the brighter note, I've been able to finally catch up on my writing. Spring break for the win!

I do not own any characters or songs used, just the ideas are mine.

* * *

Everything was going okay till the moment they reached the bed. The feeling of his body coming atop another one that wasn't Blair's seemed all to wrong.

He tried to push it at the back of his mind; he hoped alcohol would do that, but no matter how drunk he was, he couldn't look pass this. He had this problem a lot lately. He couldn't get her out of his head and it was slowly driving him mental.

He couldn't help but notice how this girl was way to tips, her skin was milky, but nowhere as soft as Blair's. And then there was her hair color. She was as blond as it can get, the way Nate preferred it. He hoped her luscious blond waves and amazing curves would be enough to set him straight and forget about that little manipulative minx who unconsciously controlled his life.

Deep inside he just wanted to feel her warm presence next to him. Coming as close as sleeping together not so long ago made him addicted once again.

Exactly.

Not so long ago he was with her. With Blair…and now.

What the hell was he doing? He broke the contact right away and moved down from the girl. She looked at him suspiciously, surprised by the lack of contact.

''Nate, come on-'' she purred ''-I want you now''

He pulled on his shirt quickly, glad he didn't let this go too far.

''I can't-'' he was at a loss of words, he quickly gathered his phone and cigarettes, shoving them in to his pockets furiously. ''-I'm sorry, I can't do this'' he said and quickly exited her room.

* * *

Blair has finally managed to calm down a bit. True, her head was still spinning and her eyes stung from all the crying she has done. But she had to pull herself together. This was so not Blair Waldorf. What has her life become? A year ago she would have never cried over a stupid boy.

Maybe this time was different because she was more mature and it wasn't really weeping after a boy, it was crying her heart out after a man she allegedly loved.

Ugh. Love. More like stupidity.

Because why would you have it all? She had the great looks, she was smart, great family, great shape, amazing job and career in front of her, everyone adored her.

And then BAM!

Everything gets ruined by a goddamn guy. She wasn't even sure what she saw in him. thinking of it now, it didn't make any sense.

He had none of the things she looked for in a man. In fact he was the exact opposite.

She remembers making a list one boring afternoon. A list that contained all qualities she wanted in a guy.

Good looking, nice, compassionate, gentle, loves kids, a true gentleman, non smoker, great in bed of course, unselfish.

Except for the good looks and his bedroom skills he was none of the above.

He was arrogant, snotty, spoiled, not at all nice, he smoked, hung out with bikers and a complete slut.

So judging by that she was only ever with him because of the sex? Reasonable, but not at all.

No matter how great the sex life is, it can't make you fall in love with a person.

And that was what she was, _in love with him_.

Maybe she was just a masochist, maybe she liked all the pain she got with him. Thinking of it now, she kind of liked the danger and his arrogant rises.

Putting aside the fact that he was an utter jackass, he was really smart, knew what he wanted and the right ways to get it. Was that a bad thing?

No it wasn't…until she stopped being what he wants.

A loud knock on the door broke her musings. She rose from the bed checking the time first. Who in their right mind would knock on her door in three in the morning? Well one person came to her mind. No. He had something (someone) else to do right now.

It was the first time in his 25 year old life that he felt nervous for a girl. He debated for a good 7 minutes and 34 seconds on whether to do it or not. So he stood there nervously like a lunatic, not really ready to knock. He was about to leave when his own body cheated on him and knocked on impulse anyway.

It took some time for her to open, considering it was three in the morning and he probably woke her up, but knowing her she wasn't even sleeping at all.

The door flashed open and relieved her tired little form. She was always petite, but she looked especially small compared to him right now, standing there in her navy flowing night gown. There was something off about her though, her eyes looked more tired than usual, her expression was none than a quiet cry for help. Her beauty paralyzed him. They just stood there watching each other, silently apologizing for everything that's happened from the beginning.

Sadly, not a thousand apologies could make it right again, especially after what happened tonight. Bitterness indulged her body, she couldn't help but think he was here only because he got what he wanted from that blonde, why was he here now? What, one a night wasn't enough?

Tears threatened to surface again so she grabbed the door knob a little tighter. Her voice was strained in her throat, she was unable to speak.

The urge to scream at him, shout, punch him and make him suffer for everything he's been doing to her had gone wild. Words couldn't describe her madness, most of it run by the fact that she loved him and it was slowly, painfully ruining her insides.

He would never feel the same…he was Nate Archibald, a sick narcissist who wasn't made for loving another human being, he could only ever love himself.

''What are you doing here?'' she asked whispering, it was the highest decibel she could get out right now. He said nothing. He just stepped closer until his body was touching hers. His hand unconsciously reached up to stroke her cheek, he just had a need to touch her, he couldn't quite control himself.

She wanted to push him away, be mad at him for one. But it was impossible, especially when he was doing this to her, or so she told him

''Stop doing this to me-'' she whispered with a shaky voice, the minute she inhaled him she lost herself. Nothing made sense anymore, she just knew she needed him and didn't care about anything else. Even if he just about slept with someone else a while ago.

''Doing what?'' he whispered back, his forehead against hers. None of it made any sense by this point. He had no idea what he was doing; he couldn't resist being this close to her.

''Looking at me like I'm the only thing that matters'' she said with a wince. _You are _he thought, but he said nothing. He just let his lips slide across hers.

* * *

She could sense some movement on the other side of the bed but just turned around and pulled the covers over herself tightly.

Nate slowly blinked trying to contemplate where exactly he was at the moment.

Oh right. He was no else than laying in Blair's four poster hotel bed. He carefully sat up, trying not to wake her up. She was turned back side to him and had the covers gripped tightly around her small body.

It was 5 in the morning, way too early to get up. The memories from few hours ago were smudged and replaced with the vision of her and all the things they did not so long ago. And judging by his nakedness and their clothes shattered around the room they did a lot.

He wasn't quite sure what to do at this point. There was no need in waking her up, yet if he just left without a word it could leave a wrong impression. Leaving a note was waaay to romantic movies cliché for him so that wasn't an option. What would he even write? ''_We've never really slept together in a bed after just having sex so I left to keep the pattern going?''_

Never to admit but she held her breath until she felt him get up. So he really didn't want to even lay with her… her eyes tear up a bit, but she'd never let a tear fall.

He got up reluctantly and pulled on his pants and his Vans, he left his dress shirt unbuttoned and left the bedroom.

What else could she have expected? He was there just to fuck her one last time and then bail on her. Typical Archibald shit he pulled on her. She remained laying for a couple of minutes more, just to be sure he really was out and then got up furious. She pulled on her satin robe and headed towards the lounge area, there was no sleeping for her anyway.

She just needed to grab her phone which was nowhere to be found. She found something else though. Nate's phone…and his wallet….and a box of Ronhill Ultra.

She frowned a bit seeing all of his things still in her room. She thought he has left…he did. Why would he leave all of his stuff here? Maybe he forgot?

She tiptoed towards the lounge as she wanted to, only to witness another surprise. There he was, laying on the couch with a cup of coffee in his hands watching the news.

So he didn't leave after all. Huh. Would you look at that.

She didn't know whether to grin like an idiot (because she wanted to) or be concerned about his mental health, because what the fuck was he doing? He actually stayed? Maybe he was still drunk.

She quietly tiptoed back to her bed and laid down. She tried to fall asleep but it wasn't possible while she knew he was a room away. So when the clock hit six, she got up and ran over to her suitcase, making sure to look presentable. She put on her cute Chanel colorful dress and matching Miu Miu high heel sandals before heading out.

* * *

''You're still here?'' she said quietly moving towards him

He got up from his sitting position on the couch. He was stunned, she looked absolutely beautiful. He found that he liked her most in the morning when she was still half sleepy and that fragile, it was adorable.

''Yeah-'' he nodded his head ''-I didn't want to wake you up or leave without a word'' he explained the way it was.

She sat on the bar chair and poured herself some coffee. It was an awkward situation. Neither of them knew what to say. They couldn't talk about how close they used to be or how distant they are now…or the fact that they've slept together twice (well four times to be exact) since they came here.

''You realize we can't keep pretending all of this isn't happening, right?'' he asked her all of a sudden, his tone kind of mad

She looked up at him, surprised. But kept quiet. He shook his head in disappointment and started towards her room.

''Fine. I'll get lost''

His disappointed look and his words made her want to cry, she was about to go after him when a knock on the door appeared.

* * *

''Kaitlyn?'' she asked confused as she opened the door

''Morning Blair, sorry for barging in so early, I just need some logistics before the meeting, you know the-'' her voice trailed away as Nate exited Blair's bedroom.

Blair turned around to look at Nate, she was utterly confused.

Nate's face lost all its color, his expression hardened instantly.

''Wait a minute-'' Kaitlyn said madly, finally realizing some stuff ''-so that's why you left me last night?'' she yelled

Blair looked at Nate furious. ''You were with her? You were kissing her before you came to me?'' she shouted not even aware of what she was saying

''How do you know I was kissing her?'' Nate said looking at her seriously. Blair's eyes fell to the floor as she stepped behind Nate.

''Of course, it all makes sense now-''Kaitlyn said ''-no wonder you couldn't have slept with me, you had your precious Blair waiting for you'' she hissed

''You didn't sleep with her?'' Blair asked, her portions softening.

''No-'' Kaitlyn cut in ''-he couldn't do it because he was thinking of someone else''

''-Just get the fuck out Kaitlyn'' Nate said furiously

The door slammed loudly and Nate turned towards her

''You really didn't sleep with her'' she said smiling, but her smiled was turned down by Nate's mad expression

''How did you know I was kissing her last night?'' he asked her coldly

''I-I saw you when I was heading up here, I was taking a walk and-'' she stuttered

''-and you were still ready to sleep with me even though you knew I could have easily hooked up with her?'' he asked, looking at her disappointedly. She was quiet.

''Of course. And you say that I'm a slut?'' he shouted, angry at her but regretted it right away. It simply slipped from his tongue, he would never in his right mind call her that.

''I didn't mean-'' he tried to apologize

She slapped him forcefully.

''Get out'' she yelled, some tears uncontrollably escaping.

''Fine, but you can't deny that you would've pulled the same crap on me you always do. It's really easy to fuck up things with me and that blame me afterwards, isn't it? And all along it was you. And I didn't say a word because I lo-'' he spoke angrily but lost track of his words. He stopped suddenly before he would spill what's been with him for so long. But right at this point, he wasn't even sure if there was something to spill.

He shook his head sadly and opened the door, leaving her with a hell to think about.

* * *

_To be continued._

* * *

Here you go, it was a bittersweet chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. The next one is already half written, but it's waiting for more reviews ;) xo L


	24. It's either laugh or cry

I'm sincerely sorry it took a while to update. I had half of the chapter written but couldn't get myself to write the other half, I deleted and rewrote it like 5 times so it took some time. I am kind of satisfied with it now so I'm posting it, I hope you'll like it too. Thank you for all the lovely reviews and to answer your questions, yes, I will continue with another story after this one, I already have like 5 ideas written out, I don't know which one to use first. Do you have any requests? Because I'd like to write a one shot, but have no idea at all what to write…please, please tell me if you do, I'd appreciate it a lot:)

I do not own any characters or songs used, just the ideas.

Song: Voices

* * *

_Words don't come out right._  
_I tried to say it, oh, so right._  
_I hope you understand my meaning._  
_Hey, it's me again._  
_I'm so in love with you again.  
Please, can I see you every day?_

_You didn't know what you were looking for _  
_'Till you heard the voices in your ear._  
_You didn't know what you were looking for _  
_'Till you heard the voices in your ear._

Have you ever felt frozen in place, literally not able to move while you put in every last fiber of your being to make yourself come alive, but nothing happens?

Well it was happening to her. She wanted nothing more than to move. Run after him, make him stop, tell him she was sorry for always blaming him for everything. Try and make things okay again, because they've been doing this far too long.

He almost said he loved her.

He. Almost. Said. He. Loved. Her.

It took so much time to summarize it all. Maybe her mind was playing tricks on her?

No. she heard him right. She won't let herself be deaf over this. She won't pretend she didn't hear.

They've been pretending far too long, especially her.

But like he almost slipped out earlier, they were doing it because they loved each other.

Then again, he could've said it in the heat of the moment. It he meant it…if he felt so strongly he would have finished the damn sentence.

Whatever there could be, she was sure it was over now. He has never been so mad at her and he had every right to, he even avoided eye contact.

If he knew how much it hurts, he would never dare to look at her again.

However, she could never get enough.

It was just his ability to erase everything delicate and ladylike she had in her and drive her to her most depraved and wildest self.

A never ending circle of _hate/friendship/lust/love_ swirling around in their heads, carrying them beyond their wildest dreams, yet somehow, crushing every time.

When does it stop….When they admit? Will they ever be courageous enough to commit that? Obviously not.

* * *

Who knows why, but staring out the window while it's quiet around, really makes you question your existence. You could say he was in a perfectly comatose/ultimate-relaxation state for a full second. He closed his heavy eyelids and everything was fine for a moment. That is till he actually started rethinking everything. And thinking….it never gets you anywhere. You just worry way too much.

He wanted so badly to just end things right then and there, half an hour ago. He was so pissed at her, it was hard to even look straight in to her eyes. But his madness cooled down now and he could think this trough.

He would fool himself if he would conclude it's done though. It was far from that, he knew it. She knew it, yet none of them was ready to take the next step.

He almost spilled his guts there today, thanks god he didn't. He needed no more humiliation before her.

It wasn't the problem that he was afraid to come out first. He just didn't want to feel rejected. He needed to know for sure he wasn't the only one feeling it before spilling it.

Knowing the stubborn tough-headed day dreamer he was coping with, she wasn't about to just tell him that she has….you know…._feelings_ for him.

One thing was for sure: This charade needs to stop.

After all, there's only a finite number of times he could play that game of life, and if he keeps loosing like so far, she's going to break his spirit.

He gets up eventually, ruffling his hair before heading out. Every step he takes his heart drops an inch. His breathing was unsteady and he can't take it no more. So he knocks one more time, this time consciously though.

His heart sinks in total as she opens the door, surprise written over her features. As he stands there for a minute, observing her before saying anything, he decides. He's ready to do it. He, Nate Fitzwilliam Archibald is in love for the first fucking time in his 25 years of life. He still hasn't got a nicer way of putting it.

''Nate-'' her voice breaks as she says his name, she hopes he isn't here to fight her some more because she might fall apart right in front of him…the scariest part would be him walking away from her, never looking back at the shattered mess he left. ''-hi'' she adds, not really able to say anything else.

He stares at her for a moment and it scares her internally. All she thinks about is the fact that there are girls out there for him, who are prettier, smarter, not as emotionally unstable and better than her. Why is he even standing here with her? Why is he wasting his time on her when he's just gonna walk away.

''Do you wanna have dinner with me tonight?'' he shoots out suddenly and she can't explain the mix of emotions cruising through her right now. She lets her mouth open the slightest as her eyes get wider. She's worried for a moment she might scare him and calms herself quietly. She has nothing better to say than to stammer a ''Yea-yes'' with a shaky voice and smile lazily, even though inside she's shooting out rainbows of joy and excitement.

He gives her that trademark Archibald half smile and she feels like she has just met him, all of the bad memories, feuds, heartbreaks and other distractions are at the back of her mind. She's flipping out with happiness.

''I'll pick you up at 7'' he says and gives her one more heart heated smile before he smoothly turns around and goes. She can't help but stare down the hall all the way over to his room and admire the simplicity and class his walk brings. She's almost jealous.

He has the biggest smile ever when he returns to his room. For the first time in a whole lot he actually has a reason to, and he knows it's ridiculously stupid to be so happy about something and this whole love thing doesn't quite make sense to him, but god help him, he is. And he is so over the top he isn't even trying to stop himself from being ridiculous this time.

Instead he just thinks of her, and his smile grows bigger.

* * *

It takes forever to find the perfect dress for tonight, but she doesn't budge. As always she over thinks stuff way too much and is ready for every possible outcome.

There for, tonight if they either finally come together or end things for the last final time, she will hold her head high and never let him see her flinch.

Adulthood doesn't come with instructions, but it comes with a dress code and responsibility. At least she can look fabulous while getting her heart broken…or a happy ending?

She has anticipated this for so long, yet she's kind of scared. She hopes she didn't take this the wrong way. She almost burns herself with a curling iron and curses out loud. Maybe she was trying too much with the hair, outfit and everything basically.

Let it be. It would be this one last time.

* * *

He knocks on her door in the rhythm of her heart beats. Right on time. She doesn't wasn't to take too long to open up, but doesn't do it right away. Even though she did, he doesn't need to know she's been waiting by the door.

''Wow-'' he whispers taking her appearance in ''-I mean-'' he shakes his head and smiles, keeping straight eye contact ''-hi''

''Hi'' she says almost shyly and steps out with him. She can't help herself but stare at how handsome he looks, it could be that she neglected his body over her mind for a while till this night and she felt the need to make it up to herself.

They are seated at an amazing restaurant – his taste still intrigued her- then the time to talk the big talk comes.

''So what's all of this about?'' she asks, the air around them becoming more tense right away. He opens his mouth to speak a couple of times, but nothing comes out. He just raises his look and simply puts it ''It's just…for us-'' he says and she doesn't understand, but is still amazed by the honesty. She cannot believe he said _us. _As in them together, as one.

''-I know things have been confusing…and awful this last few months-'' she nods in agreement ''-and that's just how it is, we can't change it. We can't change ourselves Blair'' he looks at her. His words suddenly make her sad, it was true, she can't change herself…and if she's not good enough for him the way she is….there will be no them together as one…as great as it sounds, it's not going to happen. And the urge to cry her heart out is increasing by the second, she keeps it all in her heart.

''-But-'' he continues, that smiled back on his gorgeous features ''-if we find someone who loves-'' her heart drops at the '_l'_ word, she can hardly concentrate on anything he's saying ''-us for who we are-'' he looks at her like she's the one…the one he's talking about right now. And it's true, she loves him for everything he is and one change would ruin the nature of his being, she doesn't need him to change ''-it's worth fighting for, right?''

He pours his heart out for the first time in a while and it feels relieving. He searches for comfort in her heart warming eyes and can't help but wonder if anyone else in the world will ever see her eyes as perfect as he sees them.

He is expecting her answer and she has only one to give him, _I love you Nate Archibald, _but she doesn't want to scare him away.

''It's worth every agonizingly long second of it'' she says, her voice breaking

Their moment is broken off by the waiter, bringing in their food. They thank him quietly and eat their meal in silence, a whole lot on their mind.

After that, it's still quiet, they just sip their vine, never breaking the intense eye contact. That is until Nate suddenly breaks a laugh and she can't help but laugh after him. So there they are, laughing it all off. Because what else is there to do? It was either laugh or cry.

''We are freaking deep-'' he says trough his laughter ''- I don't think we've ever had a conversation this painfully theatrical.'' He notices and she agrees immediately. It was definitely not them and she was glad she wasn't the only one that noticed. So this affair has gotten so serious to the point of turning them into soul searching/verbal hurling morons.

''Look, I can't do this-'' he says leaving two 100 dollar bills on the table and gets up. A part of her died, was he leaving her for good? Because if it ends now, it will never start again. ''- there's so much I need to tell you, but not in some fancy restaurant, surrounded by black ties and cosmos'' he takes her hand spontaneously and brings her up

* * *

''Wha-what do you need to tell me?'' she asks as she lets him lead her to the beach near by

He just turns to look at her and stops, smiling mischievously. His gaze moves from her eyes to her lips and he can't help but lick his ones.

''What?'' she whispers sensing he wants something

''I just-'' he shakes his head ''-for god's sake'' he says laughing before he takes her head in his hands and kisses her feverishly, setting the mood straight.

* * *

To be continued…

* * *

Hope it was satisfying, don't forget to leave a review ;) xo L


	25. I look at you

PLEASE READ  
Okay, before we start this I'd like to make some things clear, I am not commenting on my own story! I don't know why it is so hard for some people to believe that people still LIKE Nair and LOVE reading about them. Why is it so hard to understand? I have nothing but respect for all the other ships (Chair, Dair, Serenate…) but it's not like every single GG fan adores Chair. True the show is over, thus we confide in fanfictions even more because fiction is all we have left. To say I am really surprised too that I get all of this feedback, because I don't think I write that well yet, but others seem to like it. And for God's sake 180 reviews in 24 chapters isn't even that many, I have no idea why would someone think I'm pathetic enough to comment my own story… but if you think it's somewhat unfair and you feel offended for a reason I will disable anonymous comments. As for the followers, what would I have to do with that, please tell me, because if there's someone who makes a bunch of different accounts and writes different stuff on each one of them so she/he could follow their own story, then they should do something more productive with their life. I respect all of you guys so much because you give me confidence and make me want to write more and better, I'd never ruin that, it would be like liking your own facebook status or lying to yourself. To all my loyal Nair sweethearts, sorry for a long intro, but I had to get it off my chest.

I'm also sorry for the long wait, but this chapter is important so I wanted to make it perfect :) I've been playing around with writing in past & present tense, I actually think I like this present one better, but if you liked it more before just speak :D

I do not own the characters or songs used, just the ideas.

Song: Sorry

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''Nate-'' she mutters breathily between kisses. For the first time in a while, he really couldn't get enough of her. He thinks of it now and all of the arguments he had with himself, the pros and cons, they stopped to matter. Only now did he realize how much he missed the simplest things about her. Running his hands trough her hair, her rosy scent, her sundresses she almost exclusively wore, the way her lips felt so soft right about now.

And if he could choose one person to spend the rest of his life with, it would be her. All of it kind of scared him to be honest. He never was so serious about anyone and this territory was very foreign, but he knows she's there for him and hopefully she always will be.

He gets this crazy rush of adrenaline and his heart feels like it'll beat out of his chest any minute now. All of the vine they had earlier -and maybe the love he held in his heart for this incredible girl – kicked in and made him delusional.

''-I love you'' she breaths out unexpectedly and he just stares at her. She can't believe she just said it and his reaction (well there was none to be exact) wasn't helping. But to hell with it all, it was out now, might as well throw it all there.

''I mean…I loved you for so long-'' she starts and can't make herself stop, he's still staring at her ''- and I tried to deny it…I wanted so bad not to have all these feelings-'' her eyes water up ''- not to love you, because what the hell? We make absolutely no sense together, none at all-'' she moves away a bit and is everywhere all of a sudden, she's out of control, and he…he's still motionless ''-but I can't help it. I love you Nathaniel Archibald and honestly, I can't do it properly''

_Oh I had a lot to say  
was thinking on my time away__  
__I missed you and things weren't the same  
__Cause everything inside it never comes out right__  
__And when I see you cry it makes me want to die  
__I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue,  
I'm sorry about all things I said to you__  
__And I know I can't take it back__  
__I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds,  
and baby the way you make my world go round__  
__And I just wanted to say I'm sorry:__This time I think I'm to blame  
it's harder to get through the days__  
__You get older and blame turns to shame  
__Every single day I think about how we came all this way__  
__The sleepless nights and the tears you cried  
it's never too late to make it right_

He wishes he could freeze this moment in time and let it still. There was a girl, a beautiful girl whom he adored so much, professing her love for him and he couldn't move. He was stunned to say at least. Al he can think about is that catalyst cab ride half year ago. Because he could have taken the cab right before hers, the one after or simply let her take off alone. He couldn't by this day explain why he had an urge to mess with her that day and provoke her. And going back to that very day when they briefly couldn't stand each other, they have come a long way.

From rivalry to friends. Friends to attraction. Attraction to passion. Passion to pretending. Pretending to strangers. Strangers to friends. Friends to love.

And she's still the same drama queen he met that day and he's still the same bad boy he was. It was true what she was saying at the moment. They made absolutely no sense, yet they were stuck together like magnets and fought like one.

She's blabbering way too much and he can't think of a better way to shut her up than to kiss her, and so he does.

She's surprisingly cut off by his kiss and it would be a lie if she'd say it was a disappointment, it was indeed right what she needed in order to convince her she didn't just made a fool out of herself. In all honesty, she didn't expect a feedback from him, she didn't need to hear him say it back (although it would impregnate her insides with happiness) she just needed to know that he knows and he's okay with it, that he's okay with her loving him because she can't keep it to herself. Not anymore, especially when she feels like taking a megaphone and letting the entire world know how she feels.

There's something different about his kiss though. He was gentle and loving and embraced her like she might break under the slightest pressure. It was already decided in his head, this was the perfect moment and he will wait no longer.

''Blair…my sweet little gorgeous minx-'' he said smiling against her lips and let his eyes probe deep in to her brown orbs ''-I love you'' he whispered and placed the gentlest of kisses on the suppleness of her lips.

He watched excitedly as her eyes widened, looking at him like he was from another dimension.

''Wha-what-'' she muttered ''-are you drunk or something?'' she said in all seriousness but Nate broke down laughing

''Not exactly the response you want when you profess your love, but I'll take it'' he teased her

She shook her head quite in disbelief. Well she surely wasn't expecting that. Yes, guys have already told her they loved her, adored her and all, but this. This was coming from a man she lived for, the man she thought would never replicate her feelings and now he did. It all seemed surreal and all of her emotions came crushing. She held on to him a bit tighter afraid that she might pass out, not that he would ever let her fall.

He stroked her cheek gently and started placing butterfly kisses all over her gentle skin, repeating how he loved her so much, while she decided for once in her life not to think it over and just let herself enjoy this extraordinary moment.

* * *

Her mind once again failed to remember how they got to the point of laying down on the sand on the completely other end of the beach a few hours later, but they were. There was an empty bottle of some unknown beverage next to them so that probably had something to do with her temporary memory loss.

She was giggling, not able to contain herself while he placed sloppy warm kisses down her neck and her cheeks. She decided she couldn't be happier at the moment.

''Nate-'' she says sending a giggle after

''-Mhm-'' he murmurs placing yet another kiss on her shoulder before looking up at her lovingly

''-Just tell me how-'' she says ''-how is it possible that someone like you could fall in love with someone like me…it makes no sense at all''

''Love doesn't'' he says simply and smiles at her, just like that she falls in love with him once more

And by this point they are completely wasted, drunk, sloppy but more than all in love.

They are cut off by some commotion and noise coming near them

''What's that noise?'' she says and lazily gets herself to sit up on the sand. He follows her action and squints his eyes as there's light in form of torches.

''Oh my god-'' she gasps in delight as she spots a girl wearing a white linen dress and flowers in her hands and a guy walking out of what seems like a chapel ''-They must've gotten married'' she squeals and a huge smile spreads her features. It always amazed her how some couples could afford the luxury of being that spontaneous. She wished she could do that.

''Blair-'' he says even more excitedly than she has gasped a minute ago and stands up quickly taking her with him ''-let's do it'' he speaks, getting a confused expression from her ''-let's get married''

Her eyes widen even more than when he told her he loved her. And by this point he has no idea what in his right mind he's doing. And it's insane because they aren't even officially together. And they have just managed to come clean about their feelings, but he has never felt this alive ever. And he wants this feeling to last forever, he wants to be with her forever, he wants her for all eternity.

''Are you insane-'' she almost shouts and it's mostly because she's so fond of the idea, she's afraid she'll go through it in a blink of an eye ''- we can't-'' she's hysterical because dramatizing is the only thing keeping her from jumping him right now and screaming _yes, _cause she wants to

''- I know it's crazy…but that's us Blair. Think about it, we've been through so much and stuck together trough everything. And I love you insanely. Isn't that what really matters?'' his hands are intertwined with hers and she's almost crying from all the feelings inside her, she's already said yes in her head 15 times.

''-And I love you too…so much. But you have to be sure, because if you regret it-'' he started shaking his head no, but she continued anyways ''- maybe not now, but in a month, a year….20 years-'' great, now she's crying again ''-I couldn't stand the fact that I made you give up your amazing single life, who you are, for me and then come to regret all of it later on. It would destroy me'' she can't stop her tears now because there's just too much going on

He takes her face in his hands and kisses her tears away ''-I want you-'' he assures her ''-and when I say I want you, I mean forever. My life is amazing as it is because of you. I have been dead until you came and will be dead inside without you. I love you-'' he says and kisses her lovingly

''-So-'' he says smiling at her kneeling down on the sand. She can't help but cry from happiness and laugh at the same time ''-Blair Waldorf, my love, my life….my everything from now on till forever, will you take my heart under your guard and marry me?''

''Yes-'' she nods like a crazy person ''- a thousand times yes''

He picks her up like she's air and kisses her with all he has, swirling her while she squeals of glee.

''Let's do this'' she says when eventually put down, grasping his hand in hers and leads him towards the chapel.

* * *

The 'priest' is surprised as he sees these two euphoric kids enter the chapel. They are not the only ones waiting to be married as there's two more couples around there. This feels like Vegas, but she figured Barcelona is a lot more romantic and a perfect place to tie the knot overall. And she has her white dress on and her epic love for this man beside her. She couldn't care less they're getting married without anyone's knowledge. She has him and it's all that really matters.

It's insane what they're doing and sure enough, there's a lot of explaining waiting for them to do after all of this is done, not a soul knows they were ever even together, but neither cares.

It's their turn now. He feels like he's 10 again and he finally has the permission to play his favorite Nintendo game after a long time of anticipation. And it kind of is the same, in a weird way he has been waiting for this, well not this exactly, especially not marriage which he didn't plan on going trough in the next ten years if even. But she changes it all. And the way she's smiling at him right now, the realization that he wants to witness that smile every day for the rest of his life, is more than enough to make him go through this. If he would ever actually get married, this would be the way to do it. Simple and honest, no orchestra, money in the form of diamond decorations hanging everywhere, horse carriages and numerous guests they don't even know of. At least now they can say their marriage is out of love, not publicity.

The whole ceremony is in Spanish and frankly they understand none of it, but when the time comes, they know and they say their respectful '_I do's'. _The atmosphere is amazing and she is sure there will never be a more perfect moment in her life than this.

The 'priest', who was actually a captain of sort (Blair made sure he was licensed to marry first) pronounced them husband and wife at last and gave him the permission to kiss her. To kiss his _wife_ for the first time in his life. God knows he never in his right mind even thought about using the term related to him, let alone husband. He was someone else's husband from now to eternity and it held a certain burden on his heart.

But as kiss lips touched hers creating the chemistry you could only find once in a billion, he was sure, this wasn't a mistake.

Hopefully they would both remember all of the heart-twisting things they said to each other and did right now, tomorrow morning. Hopefully…

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_To be continued._

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Thanks for all of your feedback, I really appreciate it! Till next chapter xo L


	26. Husband and wife with benefits?

I apologize it took a while to update, but vacation is over and I have to study a whole lot lately, I really try to do it at least once a week as promised though. Thank you for all your lovely feedback, I knew you'd like the last chapter :D

I do not own any characters or songs, just the ideas.

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''Oh god-'' she breathes out, barely catching any breath, they are stumbling towards his suite and it's a huge haze… for God's sake, they just got married. This was officially their first wedding night and she is sure that the black laced VS lingerie she is wearing right now is definitely not qualified as _wedding night material. _

Nate doesn't seem to mind though, he prefers her with no clothes at all anyway.

But it is their wedding night and she wants to take things slower. He seems to have the same idea (as always, one more reason this seems right) and slows down as they are a few steps away from the entering.

He stops abruptly and gently removes his lips from hers, she already misses it.

All of a sudden he's picking her up bridal-style and she squeals in a mixture of surprise, excitement and giggles.

''Nate-'' she screams excitedly, her eyes have that wild sparkle that never goes away when she's with him and he can't keep himself from grinning like a moron, once again, she makes him so happy and excited about everything, he's not even trying to hide his amusement.

''-It's a tradition-''' he points out and puts a peck on her lips before pushing the door open further for them to come in.

Once they do, he gently lays her down on the bed. This time there's no rush, no obligation, no guilt. It's the first time they're free to be with themselves and none of them has to worry there's someone else waiting for them or carry the burden of getting too attached.

It is slow and gentle and all she ever wanted it to be. He never breaks eye contact with her beautiful mocha eyes, getting himself lost in the depth. It feels like the first time they are together. This whole slow thing, making sure not a second passes by and not a moment is wasted is so new to them. They have come so far since their first encounter and their first tryst.

Her eyelids flutter close as he places the gentlest of kisses down her neck, his hands are treating her like she might break at any moment, it's so profound it makes her want to cry.

Her hands are running all over his back and she realizes she needs to hold even tighter in order to never lose him again. She smiles against his lips in utter happiness as he finally enters her. The moment they're joined as one is worth preserving and she wants to remember the way he's looking at her right now forever. Even though the _I love you_ thing is still newly found to them, she never felt more loved in her life.

''I love you so much-'' he breathes out, always in track of her thoughts ''-I know I have, but I promise to never hurt you again''

''Shhh-'' she shushes him down with a kiss then ''- that's not important now, I know you won't-'' she smiles and intertwines her fingers in to his soft hair ''-I love you''

He cradles her in his embrace after it's done, placing soft kisses down her silky skin, repeating how much he loves her over and over again. She's in heaven and this time, Blair doesn't worry he won't be there when she wakes up.

* * *

It's way too early in the morning or so it seems and he isn't too fond of the aggressive sun piercing his skin. He shifts a bit and finds his hand brushing against something warm and soft. He smiles, satisfied to what has happened last night…not that he remembers everything. The only memory he has is them clearing things out and making it up. Then if he remembers well, there was some serious getting wasted on the beach and hot hot sex all through the night.

The rest of it is pretty much a haze, and little did he know, his temporary memory lost will cause him a lot of trouble.

He smiles to himself and leans over to place a soft kiss to her shoulder, she looks even more adorable when asleep. He can't keep his grin away.

But aside from complete euphoria and his state of ecstasy, his throat is burning dry, it feels like there is no voice left. Somehow he lifts himself up from the bed, very cautious not to wake Blair and strolls towards the kitchen to grab some water.

On his way, he can't avoid the huge ceiling length mirrors in the hallway area, you could easily say his back was scratched by a lioness and make it believable.

''Whoa-''

Looks like you really can't tame a wild girl down.

The iced water soothes his throat in every way possible; the thought of Blair in his bed still has him smirking…that is until he puts the bottle of Evian back down and spots a rather thick golden oval thingy on his ring finger.

''What the actual fuck'' he speaks loudly in shock and immediately puts a hand over his mouth, a little too late maybe. He sees her getting up into a sitting position on the bed, confused expression over her face. This definitely isn't ideal considering he promised her she wouldn't wake up to an empty bed. He curses himself quietly and rushes to the room, the golden thingy still on his mind.

She's rather shocked and confused, a weird feeling overcoming her. She sensed something was missing and forced her eyes open, the sight almost making her cry as the bed was empty.

He was there in a blink of an eyelash. She let out a sigh of relief as he sat next to her and pulled her into his embrace.

''Hey sweetheart-''he says calmly and kisses the top of her head, hoping she won't sense his distressed state.

''You scared me-'' she says quietly ''-I thought you left-''

''-I would never-'' he convinces her, his hand caressing her chestnut locks. For a second her hand shows and just like he thought, there is a ring matching to his one there.

He closes his eyes shut for a moment, a deep sigh escaping his mouth

''What's wrong?-'' she asks insisting on it, he knew he definitely couldn't keep this away from her too long…he also knew she would flip out. ''-Nate'' she whines

''-What?'' he snaps at her, not purposely. Her expression fell down. She gathered her hands away from his and stood up wrapping a robe around herself, hurt expression in place.

''-Blair-'' he calles after her, pressing his temple to his hands, trying to relieve some of that headache ''-I'm sorry'' he says and stands up, blocking her way out of the room

''Let me go Nate'' she says, avoiding his look while she tries to escape the room ''-I said move'' she says even loudly, finally looking up at him

''Stop it Blair-'' he says and puts his hands on her shoulders, letting them slide up and down her arms ''I'm sorry I snapped at you, I didn't mean it-'' he apologizes sincerely and presses a gentle kiss against her shoulder ''I'm so sorry sweetheart''

She could melt in to a puddle right then and there. She lets a small smile finally break from her lips and rolls her eyes.

''It's okay'' but it still didn't answer of why he was acting so weird. She stares at him quietly for a couple of moments, trying to analyze him as hard as she could. After all, he's a professional liar; the guy could sell a kitten under a Siberian tiger.

She's piercing him with her stare and he knows he can't hold it in any longer, it is only a matter of time for him to break under pressure. Normally lying wasn't a problem, but lying to Blair always left a bitter taste in his mouth.

''This is stupid-'' she breaks a laugh ''-we've had enough fighting already, I'm sick of it''

Nate smiles back and nods ''I know. We just need to relax, I know this whole thing is still fresh, but we can do it, we can make it work''

''Definitely-'' she breaths out and leans in to his strong embrace, for a minute Nate forgets all about the ring and lets his hands slip under her robe, gently caressing the small of her back. She lets out a laugh and shivers

''Nate-'' she playfully pushes his left hand away ''-That's cold, what is it''

All color is drained from his face as she picks his left hand in hers and observes it. She drops it in an instant and waves her one in the air, her expression changing from playful to mortified

''Surprise'' Nate mutters quietly to himself, watching her frown

''OH MY GOD-'' she cries '' WHAT HAVE WE DONE''

He tries to get in touch with her and calm her down, because to hell, he's freaking out too. But she's way out of his reach and she's panicking and all over the place

She's all of a sudden very aware of what happened last night and she curses them both silently. This wasn't supposed to happen, not like this, not this sudden. None of it was planned and it would ruin everything. As far as she was concerned, this was the beginning of their end.

''This is all your fault'' she yells at him and throws a scrunched up dress shirt in his direction

He turns around when a numb object hits his back, pissed off by her attitude

''My fault?-''

''-yes-''

''-my fault?-''

''-all yours'' she yells and he yells and it's only getting worse ''-you're the one who proposed me, you knew I would say yes, why would you do it?''

She makes no sense at all to him and he rolls his eyes which only makes her angrier

''Well if you didn't want to fucking get married, you should have said no'' he argues back with the same tone

''I love you, you moron-'' she yells ''- I want to marry you''

''-Well why do you think I asked you, it's not quantum physics, I obviously love you back''

Only the two of them could be professing their love this way

''But you only did it because you were drunk-''

He wants to argue and opens his mouth to speak but closes them; at this point he's not sure she's completely wrong.

''Exactly-'' she says, her voice breaking and almost burst in to tears

''Wait Blair-'' he goes after her when she leaves the room

''-No, it's okay Nate. You don't want to get married, maybe ever. I know.''

And it was true, at least he thought it was. Then again he also thought he could never love anyone for real, and that came to be wrong

''It _was_ true-'' he says and stops her ''-now I'm not really sure anymore''

She's pleasantly surprised by his words and feels kind of proud, but this is still very wrong.

''Oh my god…what are we going to tell everyone?-'' she continues with her freak show and Nate's head is just to heavy so he simply crushes face down on to the bed

''No one even knows we're together…what the hell am I supposed to say to my mother. Sorry I forgot to call, but I'm kind of married to this guy you never saw, we did it on a beach while I was on my business trip? Might as well add in that I'm pregnant too'' she says sarcastically but he doesn't take it that way

''Whoa whoa-'' he gets up immediately ''- hold up, pregnant? Nobody discussed anything about kids. We're not even okay with this 'marriage thing' '' he air quotes it

''I never said I was…Oh right, sorry, I forgot, so as long as I'm with you I can cross children off-''

He wanted to protest but had no time to ''-because everyone knows you're the one who can't get himself emotionally related to anything besides his precious Harley-'' she's extremely stressed out and isn't even paying attention to half what she was saying ''You're a jackass Nate''

''And you're a hypocrite'' oooh that's so much better now Archibald, why don't you give yourself a high five…in the face…. with a fucking hammer.

''Excuse me?''

''You know how I feel about all of it, okay? The marriage the kids and all the other stuff that comes along. This isn't a picnic for me either Blair, do you have any idea how hard was it for me to even confess I love you? And then all of this marriage thing…to be fair you were drunk too, okay?-'' he points out the obvious and she pretends not to hear ''- if you were sober and clear headed, would you have said yes?'' he has her quiet and she hates it, she really feels hypocritical ''-would you?'' he questions once more. Her silence is all she needs.

''Yes'' her words echo through the silent room. Her hands are still crossed at her chest; she was metaphorically trying to hide her aching heart from him.

All of the things they said earlier vanish away and he's standing before her, her hands in his ones

''What did you say?'' he needs to hear it once more, because one time wasn't enough

''I said yes-'' she says loudly and smiles ''-I would have-''

''-even though I'm a heartless jackass who isn't capable of love?'' he teases, throwing her own words at her. She rolls her eyes smiling

''Looks like I'm so hopelessly in love with the mentioned heartless jackass, I'm willing to look pass it…even worse…I think I might love him just because he is what he is-''

He raises his eyebrow

''-a loving, wonderful man who will always be here for me, no matter what'' she says quietly, almost a whisper and lets him kiss her

''-and who will kick ass to those who ever try to hurt you-'' he ads ''-like that Marco guy'' he says bitterly and Blair can't help but giggle

''Nate, that's so far behind, besides, I'm kind of married now, don't you think my husband can get over it?'' she says lovingly smiling at him

''Husband, huh? Never thought I'd be called that'' he says honestly and nibbles her neck

''Well better get used to it'' she says with a warning, yet teasing tone.

''So this obviously isnt ideal, but nothing is -''

''-Besides out epic love'' she says grinning

''Yes, aaand we still have three days before NY and all the awkward conversations we have to make, what do you want to do-'' he smirks, knowing they probably won't even make it pass their bed frame

''Well, a few things come to my mind-'' she smiles sultry ''-but first-'' she holds up a finger ''-we need to get this hideous rings removed and get new ones, seriously what is that for Christ's sake, like a plastic wrapped in aluminum foil-'' she rants but stops to catch his amused expression ''-what?''

''Nothing-'' he smiles ''-I just love you, that's all''

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Theeeere you go! :D So, I kind of have a dilemma would you like me to post the epilogue or should I make this the last chapter? Please let me know in the review section below. Thanks for everything you guys, I love you all. I am putting up the information for the new story on the epilogue, if there'll be one…which I suppose there will…yeah :D xo L


	27. Forever is just the begining

Sorry it took one week to update, but I'm surprised I even managed to do that, with all the hard school work I've got, it's a miracle :D this is the last chapter, or so you call it epilogue. I hope you'll like it. I will put all of the information for the next story down at the end of the chapter.

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He said it would be a perfect day every year no matter what, and it really is. The sun is strong and piercing up on the Manhattan sky, opposite to the mimosa she's freezing her hand with. She takes one more long sip before putting it away. She lies down on the knitted easy chair and falls into an euphoric state thinking of how perfect her life came to be. The road's been quite traumatic and dramatic at times, but they're thru it all.

Her contact with sun is suddenly broken and the figure is leaning down, taking a seat on the edge of her chair. She doesn't need to open her eyes to know who it was.

He leans down and places a sensational kiss on her neck. She lets out a low moan and retrieves his kiss, this time on the lips.

''Mmm, that's quite a pick me up you've got there-'' she teases against his lips ''-just what I needed. Nate smiles and it's cheesy and cliché to say, but her world stops for a minute and she can literally feel her heart rapidly beat out of her chest. It's like this every time, every single time for 5 years now, he still has that effect on her.

''Happy anniversary sweetheart'' he mumbles against her lips and places another kiss on her jaw line

''Happy anniversary-'' she smiles, she feels like a teenager who has a huge crush on the guy in her class, she probably looks ridiculous grinning like that, but that's why he loves her. ''-baby, I think you're going to have to cover yourself up even more, because this way I'm not sure I can wait till tonight'' she comments as she sneaks her hands underneath his shirt, running her hands over his buffed abs. He lets out a chuckle, putting his own hands around her waist to have her closer

'' I really don't mind-'' he kisses her before they're broken off by a tapping sound coming closer. They both know who it is so they break apart to look more decent.

''Mommy, Daddy-'' their adorable 4 year old yells from the patio doors as he keeps running towards them. Nate awaits for his little love with open arms and picks him up in the air while he giggles

''Christian-'' their nanny tries to catch up and stops running after she sees the boy is with his parents. The poor woman can barely catch her breath ''Mister and Misses Archibald, your son just tried to kiss two girls from his kindergarten class and bit another boy.

''That's my boy-'' Nate says proudly

''-Nate-'' Blair scolds him right away

''-what? The boy's got game Blair'' Nate reasons and continues to play with their son.

''Thank you Madeline, you can go now-'' she tells the nanny off and rolls her eyes at Nate ''-this is all your fault Nathanial, you spoiled him too much and now he's turning in to a play boy'' she says jokingly and watches her son play in his sand box while she runns her hand trough little one's golden hair. To her, he's a straight copy of Nate, he has her attitude though.

''I did not spoil him-''

''-yes you did. You just can't say no to him, can you?'' and it was true, she never dreamed Nate would be the one to spoil anyone, but he did it with her and he definitely did it with Chris.

''-you just can't resist that cute face'' she teases

''I sure can-'' he defends himself, although he knows all of what she's saying is true.

''Can I have ice-cweam'' their little Cassanova asks and Blair grins from ear to ear.

''Here you go-'' she pounds Nate's arm ''-this is your chance 'daddy', you know there's no ice-cream before lunch, tell him''

''You hate me, don't you?'' he jokes with an unease expression on his face ''Okay, okay, I can do this''

''Chris, you can't have ice-cream before lunch, that's the rule'' he says and breaths out like it was the hardest thing to do. Chris pouts out his lips and Nate can't take that

''Pwease'' the boy says sadly

''Blair-'' Nate calls in panic ''-he said 'pwease', oh God, I can't do this. Of course you can have ice-cream-'' Blair shots him a look

''-but no sprinkles'' he says and lets the boy run into the kitchen. He turns around proud of himself to face Blair with an 'I told you so' expression

''What?-'' he says confused ''-I said no sprinkles. That's called discipline'' he laughs

''You should be a reality show'' she says before she bursts out laughing.

* * *

''How much longer?'' she asks in anticipation. She's blindfolded, they've been walking for quite a while and he still refuses to tell her.

He laughs against her hair ''We're almost there'' he says and continues to lead her. It's their 5th anniversary today and he knew it had to be beyond special. He couldn't think of a place more perfect than this one.

''Okay-'' he says before he unwraps the fold and removes it from her eyes ''-surprise'' he whispers. Blair frowns and smiles at the same time. He brought her no else but the beach where she realized she wants him for the rest of her life, where they 'broke up' just so they can come back together afterwards, stronger than ever.

''Nate-'' she lets out a whisper ''-this is beautiful''

He turns her around and kisses her feverishly '' You are beautiful-'' he says looking at her lovingly, but it's not enough, he has so much love for her, he wants to show her, make her feel his love.

''This past five and a half years have definitely been the most wonderful years of my life. I just have this need to thank you for everything you've done for me, half of it you're not even aware.-'' she's speechless, so she just lets him talk, she already knows he's going to make her cry, but it's okay, everything is okay while he is there.

''Thank you for showing me what love really is. Thank you for our wonderful son. Thank you for always being there for me…and most of all, thank you for never giving up on me or us when I did. I love you''

Her face shines with tears, but she can't describe the happiness she feels. So that's what true love is. She's so touched she can't speak for a while so she simply kisses him with all she has and lets that speak for itself.

''I love you too Nate, always and forever''

* * *

So you never really do know where love is hiding, for all there is, you could be taking a cab and meet the love of your life…

* * *

Ta daah :D I sincerely hope you liked it. Thank you for all of the wonderful reviews all trough this story and for making me a better writer, it means a lot you guys. Sending virtual hugs&kisses to all of you!

* * *

The new story

My new story is going to fit somewhere between the 2nd and 3rd season of GG. This time it will be with all of the characters including Blair, Nate, Chuck, Serena, Dan, Vanessa…

But the main part revolves around Blair/Nate/Vanessa.

I want to write something different now, I don't want to give out too much but I'll give you a little teaser...

So Vanessa and Nate are dating, it's summer and there's a big Vanderbilt family reunion so Nate takes Vanessa there because he's excited to introduce her to everyone. She steps in to a complete new world where she feels like an outsider. But that won't be her biggest problem, see Blair will also be there too, as we all know Nate was so not over her back then and things are still fresh after their break up. Then again Nate let Blair go because he thinks she wants Chuck, what will happen if he finds out Blair broke up with Chuck?

How does it sound? Would you read it? :D Please let me know. I should update someday next week, hopefully before the weekend. Xo L


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